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My Prayer For New Things and New Dreams In 2018

My Prayer For New Things and New Dreams in 2018My Prayer For New Things and New Dreams in 2018

Revelation 21:5 (ESV)And He who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also He said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Sometimes it is the hardest thing to stay as clay, soft and supple. Sometimes the cold is so bitter the safest thing to do is to bury wounds deep enough we never have to risk them seeing the light of day, of being exposed.

But buried wounds only grow more brittle and cracked with time. Buried wounds never feel the warmth of tender hands leaning in to lovingly caress weary soul-sores.  Nor do they feel the fire of life as blood flows in and covers the most broken and raw aches that have left us limping for so long.

Yes, in many ways we’ve grown accustomed to our limp. We barely recognize the unconscious compensation, the halting steps, the fatigue. The wound is ours and along our path it has somehow become our identity.

So when the Spirit sweeps into our heart and whispers, behold I am making all things new, we feel certain He doesn’t mean that.

Surely there are other areas for Him to mature or meddle, whichever end of the emotional scope we perceive He is peering.

Dear one, you can be sure He means that.

Don’t run away. This time, this year, be kinder, more intentional with yourself. Don’t busy yourself with other’s growth, other’s healing so that you distract yourself from your own.

Healing is where the plow is laid for a harvest of life, of love to grow.

[clickToTweet tweet="Healing is where the plow is laid for a harvest of life, of love to grow." quote="Healing is where the plow is laid for a harvest of life, of love to grow."]

Ann Voskamp describes, New life happens in you when you aren’t afraid of the deaths that happen before resurrections.

Don’t allow the enemy to steal your next resurrection. Don’t allow him to keep you wandering in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19 (NIV) encourages us, See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

So as you enter this year, risk a little more. It takes courage to go with God into our soul spaces and allow Him to reveal areas He wants to heal in you.

Where is He leading you this year?

What are the areas of your life He wants to bring healing, to breathe life?

What is the old He is calling you to make new in 2018?

It may get a little messy. That’s okay.  The deepest meaning is cultivated from the messes He has made beautiful.

More than anything, keep your eyes on the prize. Can you not perceive it?, the verse asks. Don’t let the enemy lull you into a dim vision of your future, your destiny. Hold onto the freedom God has for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) reinforces God’s truth when He says, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I am excited to walk with you to encourage you along your healing path, to comfort you in your sorrows, and to cheer you in your successes. I am excited to see how God takes a little healing from each of our lives and uses that to bring healing in the lives of those around us.

Full circle.  Yes, full circle.

If you have a specific prayer, a goal, a place that God wants to breathe into this year, please email me, message me, PM me. It will always be confidential, but I would love to pray with you specifically this year!

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You Feel Soul-Weary and Saddle-Worn On Your Journey To The Manger

When You Feel Soul-Weary and Saddle-Worn On Your Journey To The CrossWhen You Feel Soul-Weary and Saddle-Worn On Your Journey To The Cross

Luke 2:1-20 (NIV)

It happens sometimes. Most years Christmas is a time of joy, filled with decorations and celebrations, gatherings and festivities.  Still, there are some years my journey to the manger feels more lonely, more overwhelmed, more soul-weary, and saddle-worn than I could have imagined.

Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes I wonder if that’s how Joseph and Mary felt on their journey to the manger?

I can only imagine that the dusty, dirty road to Bethlehem in those last days of her pregnancy drained every ounce of Mary’s energy from her bones; the  soreness of her swollen belly and the ache of her ankles having travelled all those miles when all she wanted to do was rest and prepare for her baby’s birth. Perhaps she and Joseph arrived at the inn too weary and too exhausted to go one step further.

Mary and Joseph’s journey to the manger certainly wasn’t ideal. They weren’t settled, they weren’t rested. They weren’t. They were barely holding on. And when they finally stumbled into the stable, finally made a pallet to lay their heads, He.  Met. Them.  Yes, He met them, right in the humblest, dimmest, messiest of places.

Maybe that’s how Abba, Father wanted it. Maybe He didn’t want Mary and Joseph to be dressed in their finest for baby Jesus' arrival. Maybe He didn’t need them to set a table fit for a king. Maybe God in His infinite wisdom knew this King would spend His life reaching out to the broken, healing the diseased, and loving the outcast. How fitting that Jesus be born in a way that He lived —meeting people right where they were and transforming everything simply with His presence.

Isn’t that just like Jesus is with us on our journey? He sees the road we’ve been on. He knows the sorrow in our bones and the cry of our hearts. He isn’t waiting for any of His children to get fixed up to embrace and love us. He meets us right where we are. He makes His glorious entrance in the middle of our mess, in the moment of our need. He does. Always. That’s who He is. He is Jesus. God with us. And He longs to be with you, right where you are today.

When you feel soul-weary and saddle-worn on your journey to the mangerWhen you feel soul-weary and saddle-worn on your journey to the manger

When you feel soul-weary and saddle-worn on your journey to the manger

The journey to the manger isn’t always ideal, isn’t always easy or joy-filled. You don’t need to wait until next year to invite Him in. You don’t need to get more healed to allow Him into your life. You don’t need to pretend until the season passes by. Don’t. Please, don’t.

Come to Him. Call out to Him. He will hear you, He will forgive you. He will make everything new. No matter what you feel like today, He is waiting to make His entrance into your heart, your life, your world. He will meet you with His love, His grace, His glory – right there at the manger.

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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6 Comments

How To Find Thanksgiving In The Middle Of Your Pain

How To Find Thanksgiving In The Middle Of Your PainHow To Find Thanksgiving In The Middle Of Your Pain

It was a routine procedure. Nothing to worry about.

The morning my mother went into the hospital for a heart cath procedure, everything was fairly typical. We prayed on my way to work. I spoke with my dad shortly afterwards. Nothing atypical. Nothing unusual.

She had come through fine and was in recovery. Dad was upbeat and calm. She would be released a little later, he offered.

So after my next session, when I checked my phone, I noticed a text from my husband. It said simply, Call me.

Stepping outside, I called him to find out that just a few minutes after my phone call with Dad, something had gone wrong. Dad had called Mark in a full panic, sobbing with worry for Mom.

Mark was out the door instantly, talking with Dad and calming him down as he drove to the hospital. He called the pastor, my aunt and my brother. Informed them of the circumstances.

Mom had started passing out. Several times. The final time the nurses immediately rushed her to the CCU and tried to get her stabilized.

I felt helpless. Though I couldn’t get to her, my heart and my mind reeled. My schedule was completely full and there was no way to cancel my clients. I simply prayed.

Over the next several hours her condition improved and she was able to go home the next day. What a blessing. A sacred exhale.

It doesn’t always work that way, though. Life doesn’t always give us the desired ending. The miracle. The answered prayer. It doesn’t.

So how can we hold onto hope, how can we muster any shred of gratitude or thanksgiving when our world has been torn apart, when the unthinkable happens?

Whether you have lost a loved one to cancer or divorce, whether you are sinking beneath the weight of depression, loneliness, or heartache, here are two ways to find thanksgiving in the middle of your pain.

Rest In His Faithfulness

The Lord knows where you are. He knows what you have endured. He sees your pain and weeps with you over your sorrow.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV) tells us, The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Psalm 147:3 (NIV) shares, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.  Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV) also encourages, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He doesn’t want you to hide your pain. Nor does He want you to pretend your brokenness away.

He wants you to be honest, acknowledge your deepest wounds, and reach out for help in your season of grief. Don’t walk this season alone.

We are all in the journey together. We need each other. We need to walk with and comfort each other right where we are. We are the hands and feet of Christ to the hurting. We are wounded healers, if we choose to be.

Acknowledge the Small Things

Find ways, small ways, to be thankful. Even in your grief, look around to notice goodness around you. As needful as it is to acknowledge your pain, it is as needful to acknowledge God’s goodness.

Our healing is stalled when we focus solely on our loss, our sorrow. Find something, anything, for which you can offer thanks. It will move you forward through your pain and slowly give you hope for a new day. A new season. Healing.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) tells us to, Rejoice always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Even in hard times, we can trust the character of God. Even when the circumstances make no sense. We give thanks that God is good. He is not evil. He is not arbitrary. God has a reason for everything He does, whether we can understand it in the moment, or not.

Henri Nouwen beautifully describes,

Perhaps nothing helps us make the movement from our little selves to a larger world than remembering God in gratitude.

Such a perspective puts God in view in all of life, not just in the moment we set aside for worship or spiritual disciplines.

Not just in the moment when life seems easy.

It can challenge every ounce of our being, yet walking through this season with a balance of honesty, authenticityandgratitude will yield a heart healed, a quiet mind, and the beauty of hope for the seasons to come.

Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving! With love from my heart to yours.

Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God. _Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it can be hard to find anything to be thankful for when we are in pain. The holidays can be the most difficult time of year for many adults, men, women, and children. Here are a few ways to find Thanksgiving in the middle of the pain.Sometimes it can be hard to find anything to be thankful for when we are in pain. The holidays can be the most difficult time of year for many adults, men, women, and children. Here are a few ways to find Thanksgiving in the middle of the pain.

Sometimes it can be hard to find anything to be thankful for when we are in pain. The holidays can be the most difficult time of year for many adults, men, women, and children. Here are a few ways to find Thanksgiving in the middle of the pain.

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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3 Comments

How To Stop Running and Start Fighting Back Against Fear - Book Review

How To Stop Running and Start Fighting Back Against Fear - Book ReviewHow To Stop Running and Start Fighting Back Against Fear - Book Review

Sometimes the only one way to deal with fear – is to fight it. We’ve got to stop hiding in the corner, stop shaking in our shoes. In the face of such an opponent, our only response is to put on our big girl boots and kick fear all the way to the curb.

Fear can take over our lives if we let it. I know it used to take over my life at times. Fear consumed so much of my mental, physical, even my spiritual energy. I felt helpless to overcome the waves of sheer terror that pounded on my heart and mind.

I shared a few months back about my journey with fear and how it had resurfaced recently after more than twenty years. When I had the first panic attack, I said, Aw, just a anomaly. Nothing to worry about. When I had the second I got a bit concerned, and after the third, I began to get serious.

I needed every tool I could find, every ounce of strength I could muster. I needed emotional strength. I needed physical strength. And I needed spiritual strength.

You see, God wants us to use ALL of our resources to fight the battle against the enemy. He doesn’t want us fighting with one hand tied behind our back, tripping over ourselves in our despair and fatigue.

Here are four practical ways you can fight fear spiritually and win the battle once and for all.

Don’t Pretend

Many of us like to color a pig and call it pretty. But it’s not. Never will be. We can’t pretend that fear isn’t real. We can’t run and hide.

Our first step towards healing is to acknowledge that our fear is real so we can begin to face it head-on instead of burying our heads in the sand. Like they say, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

One article in Psychology Today suggests,

A lifestyle of "not-knowing" requires that we subscribe to the old adage that what we don't know won't hurt us.  But the evidence of life shows that this just isn't true.  As a way of life, hear no evil-see no evil-speak no evil is a recipe for disaster.  Denial may offer the appeal of short-term bliss, but it prevents us from taking responsibility for things that really do matter, things we could do something about. 

Give Your Fears A Name

When I’m able to identify my fear, that’s half of the battle.

Are you afraid of —death, dying, heights, or diseases? What about fear of loss, loneliness, rejection, abandonment, intimacy? Is you fear more about shame, criticism, failing, being humiliated or simply being enough? Are you afraid of losing your health, your wealth, your safety and security? Perhaps your fear is about spiders and creepy-crawlies that make you squirm in terror?

Give your fears a name.

Speak The Truth That You Know About God

  • God is faithful.

Lamentations 3:22–23 (NLT)The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. 

  • God is all-powerful.

Isaiah 40:29 (NLT) He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.

  • God will never leave you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV) Be strong and courageous. DO not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

  • God is for you.

Romans 8:31 (NIV) What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

  • God is good.

Psalms 136:1 (NIV)Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.

  • God fights for you.

Deuteronomy 20:4 (ESV)For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies; to give you the victory.

I want to introduce you to one of my favorite fear-fighters. She is my dear friend and blogging mentor, Kelly Balarie. Her website is PurposefulFaith.com.

Earlier this year, Kelly came out with a new book called Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage To Overcome Your Fears and it is just that—a manual to come face-to-face with our deepest fears,  and use God’s strength to awaken our courage and overcome every anxiety, worry, or doubt that stands in our way.

Kelly is a natural cheerleader. When I first entered the blogging community, Kelly was the first to reach out and invite me into her group. Every time I am discouraged, doubting my words or my calling, Kelly is right there to energize and encourage. And that’s precisely what she does with this book.

It’s far less about having shining circumstances or a picture of a sparkling future or an image with no cracks and much more about the small choice to remove your shoes in faith, knowing God’s planning goodness for you. Fear Fighting– pg 42.

She beautifully weaves her own experience with fear and teaches us how to allow the Spirit to rise up within us to help us fight our fears. She shows us how to identify fear-inducers like the devil, control, people-pleasing, worry, comparison, and many more, so we can demolish every fear the enemy would use to defeat us and destroy us.

With a clear action plan and a twelve-week study guide, this book will help arm you, inspire you, and encourage you. It will help you find the bravery and strength you never knew existed so you can discover as Kelly describes, the beautiful woman God created you to be.

What Is a Fear Fighter?

A fear fighter doesn't look around but rather inside for strength.  She doesn't back down to naysayers but says God will help her.  She doesn't see the waves as waters ready to sink her but floats to new heights.

She doesn't fear the truth but voices it, knowing it heals.  She doesn't live a fake faith but finds a small seed within and nurtures it.  She doesn't feel like a puppet, moving to the sway of the world, but dances.

She loses herself in vast Love to find herself loved.  She will be you and she will be me, only by the power of the Holy Spirit.Fear Fighting _pg. 16

This book was named as one of Kathy Lee Gifford’s favorites on the Today Show. It has been a bestseller and there’s a reason why.

We all face fear. We all struggle to silence the roar of lies that invades our hearts. We all long for the bravery of a lion to stop running and start fighting. We dream of facing our fear-Goliath and standing with arms in the sky as we conquer this foe once and for all.

Fear Fighting gives us the roadmap based on God’s Word. I am ready to be a fear-fighter. I’m ready to be done with this mess called fear. I’m ready to live life to the fullest, to find joy, contentment, and peace. Are you ready?

Let’s do this together!

 



About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/15539289

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14 Comments

When We’re Feeling Too Small To Make Any Difference In This World

When We're Feeling Too Small To Make A Difference In This WorldWhen We're Feeling Too Small To Make A Difference In This World

We crossed at low tide. With only one road that washes out with the waves, there was a small window of time to make our way across, to leave behind the mainland and enter this remote, speck of an island…Holy Island.

It was holy. There was something powerful and sacred about this place —like reaching back and touching history over 1500 years ago. And what a history this place has.

holy-island-causeway-tide-out.jpgholy-island-causeway-tide-out.jpg

Situated right off the eastern coast of Great Britain, Holy Island sits right on the border between England and Scotland. It’s called Holy Island because in 635 AD Saint Aidan came here from the isle of Iona in Scotland and established Lindisfarne Priory. Known as the Cradle of Christianity, this place was the evangelical center of its time, bringing Christianity to all of England.

It’s hard to believe when you are standing here. Hard to imagine how something so small could have such a profound impact, not just on Great Britain, but on our own country’s religious history as well. The men of that day could not have imagined the lengths their legacy of faith would reach.

Sometimes I get trapped in thinking that my life, my ministry, my calling is of no value because of its size. In this day and age perhaps, it is easy to become discouraged, believing we can’t make a difference in this chaotic time we’re living, that we cannot impact the world for Christ in any meaningful way without a national ministry, a prestigious position, or a sizeable social media following.

That’s what the powers that be tell us, at least. Yet if a tiny island in the middle of nowhere can be used by God to change the course of history, then perhaps God can use each of us right where we are, with what gifts we have, to leave a powerful legacy.

God uses the smallest things to accomplish the greatest purposes.

God used just three small stones to defeat a giant (I Sam 17, NIV). He used five loaves and two fish to feed a multitude (John 6:1-14, NIV). He used a simple carpenter to save the world. He can use you, too. He wants to. He longs to. He loves you and created you for a purpose.

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Where has God called you to serve today? Who has God called you to love today?

Maybe your legacy today is in loving and serving in your home, raising up little ones to be warriors for Christ. Maybe your legacy is in loving and serving those in your neighborhood, your community, your local church.  Maybe it's standing up to hate, to violence, to bigotry whenever it arises, in whatever size, shape, or form it takes.

Whatever it is, wherever He calls, your legacy is right in front of you. It may not be grand or lucrative. It may not guarantee you an enormous following. It may not ever be noticed by anyone around you. But it will be noticed by God.  It will make a difference.

Imagine what kind of impact your life may leave for generations to come. Imagine what could change if we didn’t get paralyzed and discouraged by the lies of the enemy telling us we are not enough, that God could never use us, that nothing we do could ever make a difference. Imagine each of us loving what is right in front of us, each serving whomever crosses our path. Imagine.

…walls torn down.

…hearts transformed.

…communities working together.

…a nation healed.

I Corinthians 1:27 (NIV) tells us that, God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

It will start with us. You and me. One act of love at a time.

God uses the smallest things to accomplish the greatest purposes.

 



About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

14 Comments

4 Comments

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

The demise of fairness and the ability to tell the good guys from the bad ones

I often think back to the 90’s with a feeling of nostalgia for a decade that seemed as hopeful as it was prosperous. As an idealist right out of college, I listened to Paula Cole’s famous song and believed that most of us were cowboys —that we understood the ideals of right and wrong, and measured out justice, like John Wayne, with impartiality and integrity. That’s what I believed back then, anyways.

I was quite the dreamer in those days. Like all the good western movies, life seemed a little more clear-cut, more uncomplicated somehow. As I looked around I felt in my heart we were all on the same team, rooting for the same cause, our great American dream. We could easily tell the good guys from the bad guys and we were thrilled to see the good guys come riding in on their gallant white horses to save the day. To bring the bad guys to justice. It all seemed so simple.

Who are the good guys?

As I have witnessed the combined narratives of mainstream media, Facebook threads, and general water-cooler conversation these days, I find myself asking, Where have all the cowboys gone? How did we arrive at this place where our country is less important than our party, and where justice is seen only through the lens of an elephant or donkey?

I speak not against a particular party, but against an insidious trend in culture that is pitting us all against each other. Dividing us. Destroying what made this little experiment of a country so special in the first place.

We act less like Americans and more like spectators at a boxing match, waiting with baited breath for any sign of weakness, any notion that our guy is getting ready to land the final knockout blow. Where our guy is hailed the champion and the other is resigned to a dark corner of the locker room.

It appears our moral indignation and righteous anger ends at the door of our party affiliation. We become suddenly, strangely quiet when our guy takes a hit, or stumbles and falls. We jeer with a foaming anticipation at the missteps of someone, anyone, as long as they are on the other team.

We are no longer fair-minded. No longer wise. No longer models of Christ’s character. We as Believers should never be known more for our political positions than we are known for our faith, our character, our integrity.

We should be the cowboys—the model for those above the fray, who are fair-minded, with a solid standard for character and integrity. We should be able to tell the good guys from the bad guys and be willing to hold all of the bad ones to account.

Here are few questions to consider:

  • Are our standards held equally for those in power?

Romans 3:23 (NIV) states, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:10-12 (NIV) adds, There is no one righteous, not even one.

  • Are we open to consider the failings of everyone impartially, even those on our side, so to speak?

James 2:1 (ESV) tells us, My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.

James 3:17 (ESV) goes on to state, But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

  • Can we be slow to speak, quick to listen, and fair in judging the words and actions of others, regardless of their party affiliation?

Micah 6:8 (ESV) says, He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Romans 2:11 (ESV) declares that, God shows no partiality.

Exodus 23:1-33 (ESV) further asserts, You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. You shall not fall in with the many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with the many, so as to pervert justice, nor shall you be partial to a poor man in his lawsuit. “If you meet your enemy's ox or his donkey going astray, you shall bring it back to him. If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying down under its burden, you shall refrain from leaving him with it; you shall rescue it with him. ...

  • Do we care more about our side winning than righteousness prevailing?

Proverbs 21:3 (ESV) tells us, To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

  • Do we care more about proclaiming our perspective than we do proclaiming the name of Jesus?

Mark 12:28-31 (ESV) shares, And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Hebrews 6:10 (ESV) reminds us that, God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.

Challenging Our Better Selves

The truth is, one side is not all bad, nor is the other side all good.  

Matthew 7:3-5 admonishes us, Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We should stand up for what is right, no matter who is in office. We should be sad when anyone falls or stumbles. Whether they have a “D” or an “R” next to their name, we should want wrongdoers to be held accountable for their words and actions. The hypocrisy of selective moral outrage has to stop—if we want our country, our communities, or our relationships to survive and thrive.

Could we all take a breath and remember not only who we are, but Whose we are? The world around us is watching. Are we just as angry, outraged, cynical, and vitriolic, as everyone else out there? Can we speak our perspective from a place of respect, fairness, openness, and consideration of all? Do we know what our values, beliefs, and moral expectations are or do we define them based on what someone else is doing/not doing?

We really need to think, my friends. We need to examine our idea of fairness, our idea of justice. We need to consider how we tell the good guys from the bad guys. Consider who we are, and who we want to be. I don’t know about you, but I want to be a cowboy.

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

4 Comments

23 Comments

An Open Letter To Ms. Hatmaker and Anyone Who Feels Lost In Good Friday

An Open Letter To Ms. Hatmaker and Anyone Who Feels Lost on Good FridayAn Open Letter To Ms. Hatmaker and Anyone Who Feels Lost on Good Friday

Ms. Hatmaker,

My heart breaks as I read your Good Friday blog, entitled, My Saddest Good Friday in Memory: When Treasured Things are Dead. Throughout the years, I have enjoyed many of your posts, your casual plain-speaking style sprinkled with a dash of humor for a world that takes itself a little too seriously, perhaps.

Reading your post today, your words are pregnant with so much pain that my instinctive response is to wrap my arms around you as you grieve. I cannot imagine the sting of rejection that you have experienced, nor can I envision as you describe, being on the wrong side of religion. You go on to state, it was soul-crushing. I suffered the rejection, the fury, the distancing, the punishment, and sometimes worst of all, the silence.

Cruelty, whether it is found in the world or in the church, is never an acceptable response to a fellow Christian, even if we disagree.  In response to that I can only say I am sorry. I feel tremendous compassion for you in this season on your journey. You are right when you say that for each of us in life, every Good Friday has, a different tone, a different sense of perspective, and that, Good Friday is about death, even a necessary death.

I can sense in your frail disillusionment, your political disappointment, a sincere faith struggling to find its footing again. I pray you do find your footing again. I pray that your heart finds healing and wholeness as it discovers God’s purpose in this season of your life.

What I want you to know is that while much of your distress is aimed at the Christian machine, I don’t think the Christian machine is the cause of your pain. I am no fan of much in the business of Christianity or the brand-building that occurs in the name of Jesus, but that is not how I perceive the sequence of events that led to your pain.

Your pain, it seems, came from your decision to use your platform to begin speaking out against essential Biblical doctrine to which the majority of the evangelical community adheres. When anyone makes a decision to go outside of essential doctrine and begins to state positions that are in opposition to that doctrine and in addition, in opposition to Scripture, then the Christian community cannot remain silent, cannot support, cannot sit idly by while these truths are distorted, contradicted, or even denied.

Yet in saying this, instead of the cruelty you experienced, I wish the leaders in your life would have lovingly and graciously taken you aside to speak truth to you, and to bring to you the kind of spiritual accountability we all need. Romans 2:4b (NIV) tells us, God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.

I wish those who were the cause of your tsunami of terror could have expressed their disappointment, their sorrow, in the manner of a true Christ-follower.

We are not to bury the truth for the sake of love, nor are we to forsake love in our pursuit of the truth.  We are to hold truth and love together, in the manner of our Savior.Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) says that, Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Scripture is clear, we are not to judge others. One look at Matthew reveals that we should not condemn, malign, or destroy another individual. We should treat everyone with the same love we were shown by God.

Matt 7:1-2 (NIV) tells us, Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

We were all created in the image of God. We are each wholly and divinely loved by God. Our worth was settled at our creation. In judging another’s character, value, or inherent worth, we judge and condemn our own. We should do our best to show honor and respect to others, whether we agree with them or not, whether they judge us or not.  

Still, Scripture is equally clear that we as Believers should judge (discern, declare, assess) that which is right or wrong. We are to distinguish between that which is righteous and congruent with the Word of God, and that which is in error or rebellion to God.

Yes, we are to judge – the behavior, not the person. I will never call sin un-sin. I will never, whether mine or another’s, applaud the willful rejection of that which is true, noble, and of good report. I will never call wrong right. I cannot.

John 7:24 (ESV) offers, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

[clickToTweet tweet="John 7:24 (ESV) offers, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment." quote="John 7:24 (ESV) offers, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment."]

Colossians 1:9(NIV) shares, For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.

Amos 5:14-15 tells us to, Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the LORD, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the LORD God of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph.

2 Timothy 4:2 (NIV) states that we should, Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

Our Christian community is being shred into a thousand little pieces. The enemy is coming after us to destroy us. The Word of God is the only thing that can give us a common foundation, that can hold us together, that can keep us strong in the face of such cultural and spiritual opposition.

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. His truth doesn’t bend or pretend based on popularity or fame. It doesn’t cater to, nor does it sanctify tickling rhetoric or political agendas just to be en vogue. God is love, yet He is at the same time holy, righteous, and just. He is beautiful and unequalled. He has made a way for each of us to escape the consequence of our broken, sinful nature —His name is Jesus. He died for you and me. He can heal the deepest heartaches and mend our broken, wayward ways. He is good and yes, He is God.

Please know that as a Believer, I don’t have the freedom to pick and choose the tenets of my faith. If anything puts itself in opposition to the Word of God that has been studied by great theologians, pastors, and evangelists for thousands of years, then I must evaluate it and reject it.

I hate that your heart feels like it has been scorched to ashes, as you describe your anguish. I pray that your heart finds healing in Jesus’ presence. I pray your spiritual and emotional wounds are bound up with the salve of God’s love and truth in a way only He can provide.

While we may disagree on certain things, I pray for your healing, your blessing, and your renewal. Even though we have never met, I pray you know you are loved, and I believe this season doesn’t have to be a forever Good Friday for you. I pray that Sunday comes in your heart and that you find new life, new light as He seeks to conquer death in our lives.

His truth and His love can make all things new. Cling to both of them. Surround yourself with Godly men and women of the Word. I will hope for you. I will pray for you. And I will watch with you for the angel on the tombstone.

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

23 Comments

8 Comments

Loss, Lament, and The Road To The Cross

Loss, Lament, and The Road To The CrossLoss, Lament, and The Road To The Cross

We said goodbye to our 17 yr old furry child, Sophie this week. Just a few weeks ago, we lost a family friend. Any look on social media reveals a multitude of losses—the loss of parents, children, spouses, neighbors, colleagues, friends. Too much.

Loss of any kind can stop us in our tracks and paralyze us. Mourning becomes a heavy lead-blanket pulling hard on our shoulders. We go on. We take steps. But these steps at times feel pointless, purposeless. Distracted.

Sometimes I find myself wondering, Why all these losses? Why so much heart-crushing and suffering? What, if anything, can this great pain teach us?

Whether we lose small things or big things, loss is never easy. Sometimes we want to run and hide. Sometimes we want to drown in the big wide waves of emptiness that sweep over us and hold us in their grasp.

I am learning to find meaning in recognizing that seasons of loss are needful seasons on our healing path. Loss as much as anything in life teaches and trains us to remember our helplessness, our brokenness, and to keep our hearts focused on the One who heals.

The Lenten season is a season of loss, of lament that walks us through the last days of Jesus’ journey to the cross and brings us face to face with our own. In meditating on Christ’s suffering, we confront the reality of our own humanity, our own disillusioned imagination, our inescapable wound that separates us from God.

Reverend Alexander Schmemann in his book, Great Lent, teaches,

The purpose of Lent is not to force on us a few formal obligations, but to ‘soften’ our heart so that it may open itself to the realities of the spirit, to experience the hidden ‘thirst and hunger’ for communion with God.

Mourning gives way to repentance, as we turn away from sin, as we lament this heinous death and brokenness that exists within us, and allow ourselves to grasp hold of the greatest love of all —that God sent His Son to the cross so that through His suffering, His death, His resurrection, we could experience life. Love.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4–5)

Without repentance we can never experience relationship with God.

Without lament, we can never experience being loved by God.

Love is forever a response to love.  The Bible says, "We love because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19 NIV)

So let those who have lost lament for today—for His great love gave us the gift of loving. Yet let us lament not as those who have no hope – let us lament as those who know Who holds the future, as those who believe that Jesus died and rose again. Who believe He is coming again.

Don’t allow seasons of loss to close your heart to loving. Open your heart wide and dive in. Don’t run from the losses. Don’t push back against the pain. Surrender to the waves of sorrow as you allow the depths of suffering to heal you, shape you, draw you closer to the cross.

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

8 Comments

4 Comments

Because Sometimes The Most Beautiful Things Spring From The Deadest Places

Because Sometimes The Most Beautiful Things Spring From The Deadest PlacesBecause Sometimes The Most Beautiful Things Spring From The Deadest Places

Sometimes the most beautiful things spring from the deadest places. A few weeks back my husband and I were attending a celebration of life service for a family friend. The service was everything beautiful and sacred, allowing us to pause for a moment and savor the words expressed over a life well-lived, a heart well-loved.

A mixture of emotions ebbed and flowed inside of me, as each refrain expressed another shade of sorrow mixed with reverence, with love, with sadness— sadness for the husband minus his soul mate, his wife; sadness for the lonely little one sitting in the wings with his friends. This sort of occasion purges from the shallowest of depths the most melancholy and tender emotions. A catharsis of sorts.

It began as nothing really, until it was something. I sat quietly watching the family pour in, ever so stately, solemnly as they took their seats. It was just one glimpse, one look that sent me reeling. In an instant a lightning bolt of anguish, anger, dare I say hatred, coursed through me. I had no idea. It had been so long ago, the pain, so old, I thought it had healed, had passed, had dissipated from the inside out. I thought.

But in an instant, my brokenness was exposed, my wound revealed in the most irreverent and untimely of ways. I exhaled, trying to rid myself of this lingering pain. To no avail.

This pang stirred inside my belly, right underneath the surface of my knowing, until a few days later as I sat in another pew, a Sunday morning pew, listening to another sermon. This sermon was about life and faith, and all sorts of truths that I forever try to stuff inside my heart to carry me, strengthen me for another day. But on this day, as I was listening, I heard the pastor say, But above all else guard your heart.(Proverbs 4:23, NIV) It hit me again.

Was He speaking to me? Was this one of those moments of revelation, of conviction, of healing, when He reaches into the deepest places in my heart to reveal His truth? For me, it was.

Somehow, years ago I had picked up an offense. I had let it steal into the corners of my heart and plant itself in the most loathsome of ways. I wasn’t even aware. On that day, my heart revealed its unholy alliance with an offense and my spirit heaved a terrible grief.

The Gift of Conviction

We will all as Believers have moments like this on our journeys, when God steps into our routine and shines His light on the dimmest, most forgotten places in our hearts that need to be healed. He speaks life and conviction, using the most tender of measures to sanctify us through and through.

I love how God never finishes with our transformation. He is never satisfied to leave us soaking in our sin. His love for us knows no end.

Romans 2:4 (NLT) shares God’s heart toward His children and their sin, Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Still, the one thing we can trust about our Abba Father more than anything is that just as He would leave His flock to find the one lost sheep, no matter where we are, He will find us. He will convict us, teach us, heal us, and make us new. He will never leave us in the pit. His conviction is life-giving in that the gift of repentance removes the sin that has become a cancer in our souls. The gift of repentance restores our relationship. It forms God’s character in us. Sets us free.

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NIV) states that, Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

The Blessing of Repentance

C.H. Spurgeon says of conviction,

A true physician makes incisions only in order to effect cures, and a wise minister excites painful emotions in men’s minds only with the distinct object of blessing their souls.

And isn’t that what Easter is all about? The weight of sins that hangs heavy on our shoulders is all at once swallowed up in light, in life, in eternity, in redemption. This great salvation is for all because Jesus bore it all. ALL.

I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.Isa. 43:25 (NIV)

He wipes them clean. Our hearts, our lives. He forgives. He scrubs our souls with the blood of the Lamb so that now we can stand spotless.

All we have to do is repent and confess. Such little things in the grand scheme of life.

To turn away from death, and reach toward life.

Sometimes the most beautiful things spring from the deadest places.

What is God revealing in your heart that He wants to heal?  How can you begin today to embrace His gift of conviction, repent, and reach towards new life in Him?

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

4 Comments

Comment

How To Teach Your Child Respect – In This Political Climate

So here's the thing— Joanne Kraft isn't an ordinary southern girl.  Joanne is a California transplant to the hills of Tennessee, and she's got a powerful message for all parents out there — you can turn a "mean mom's" parenting into amazing children.  She knows.  She's got four kids of her own.  She writes and speaks around the country and I'm thrilled to have my dear friend  join the "Peace For A Lifetime" Community today!  

 

Like the rest of the free world, I’m disgusted by what’s happening. Our political climate is like watching a bunch of toddlers without naps.  

 

I’ve turned off the TV. Stopped going on Facebook and pretty much anything that allows me to see or hear this insanity.

 

We’ve lost the art of conversation and respect for other people’s views.

 

We’re just not willing to listen anymore.

 

How disrespectful is that?

 

Faith…teaches us not merely to tolerate one another, but to respect one another–to show regard to different views and the courtesy to listen. –George W. Bush, Inaugural Address 2001

 

Teaching Your Child To Listen

 

 “My daughter just doesn’t respect me. What can I do? She shouts at me and doesn’t listen to a word I say.”

 

This is the question I get most. Parents want to know how to instill respect in their children—especially when having a conversation.

 

Let me ask you this, it’s a question that will answer alot…

 

How do you model conversation with someone who believes differently than you do?

 

How do you act when your husband and you disagree? How do you talk about him when he’s not around? What about your mother-in-law? How do you talk about her? How do you act when you don’t get your way?

 

It matters.

 

Toddlers who throw tantrums become adults who do the same if we don’t teach them another way.

 

Kids want to be heard. They want to know their thoughts and ideas matter.

 

Adults do, too.

 

The problem is, when you’re raising kids there can only be one government and that government is called Mom and Dad.

 

It’s actually more like a benevolent dictatorship.

 

How Our Kids Talk Around The Dinner Table

 

I believe the best parents raise kids into adults who use logic and respect to share their beliefs and opinions and then LISTEN to ours.

 

When our kids were all little and around our kitchen table at night, they shared in the conversation with thoughts and ideas and stories that didn’t always make sense to us.

 

Still, we listened.

 

As they grew older, their ideas got a little kooky sometimes. (Teenagers, remember?) So, we’d engage with logic and truth. We’d ask them follow up questions, “Who told you that? Why do you believe that source? Do you know anyone else who had this experience?”

 

That sort of thing.

 

 

Respecting another person is simply admitting that God is big enough to love him or her just as much as he loves me. –Stephen Arterburn

 

There is much freedom of thought in our home and if anything, we taught them to be strong in what they believed. To have an answer that made sense and was factual was encouraged. If they spouted off with rhetoric we held them accountable and asked them to think critically about what they just said. Critical thinking is lacking in so many parenting classes these days. .

 

Parents walk a fine line between teaching respect and response.  We teach a child to respect the higher office of “parent” and instruct them to respond in a way that will be heard.

 

I make sure my kids understand their words carry a whole lot more weight if they are respectful with their delivery.

 

Why?

 

Because tantrums don’t work.

 

Name calling doesn’t work.

 

Shouting down Mom and Dad will never persuade us.

 

Ever.

 

Here’s a few things you can do to build teach your child the art of respectful conversation:

 

Teach them to use their words.  Speaking just to shout or cry is not helpful. Sharing feelings is important, so start there.

 

Teach your child to listen. Stand or sit eye to eye with your child and take turns talking and listening, especially listening.

 

Acknowledge their feelings/words. “I think I heard you say that you’re not ready for a nap.” Or, “What you’re telling me is that you’re frustrated with your curfew and want to stay out later.” It’s important a child knows they’ve been heard.

 

It’s not personal. When their words do not persuade you to change your mind, make sure you remind them it’s not personal. I’d say something like, “You just explained yourself perfectly. I understand a lot better now why you want a later curfew. I really do, but I also have something you don’t yet have—adult perspective. I can see a bigger picture than just the curfew. I know you may not understand why I’m still not persuaded—but know this, I appreciate how you shared your heart with me and I love you very, very much.”

 

 

Respect is a character trait for success.

 

Why is respect so important?

 

Because, how my children treat me is how they’ll treat their teachers, future employers and eventually their spouses.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="How my children treat me is how they’ll treat their teachers, future employers and their spouses." quote="How my children treat me is how they’ll treat their teachers, future employers and their spouses."]

 

My kids are taught to respect all positions of authority but most importantly all people, period. There’s a difference between respecting a person and respecting their office or position.

 

I teach this because I was taught this by my own parents.

 

My Lesson In Respect Began In High School

 

My sophomore year in high school I had an algebra teacher who grabbed me by my jacket and sat me down in my chair.

 

A total jerk, right?

 

Okay, I may have been getting a D in the class and I may have been a bit chatty–my memory is a bit cloudy…

 

My three-tours-in-Viet-Nam-USMC-father called said teacher and gave him the “what for” and I silently listened from the family room.

 

Thinking to myself, Woohoo! Dad’s on my side!

 

When he got off the phone I overheard him tell my mom how much he didn’t respect the guy. Then he called for me, “Joanne!”

 

I almost skipped into the kitchen.

 

“I just spoke with your teacher. He won’t help you sit in your chair anymore. And, you’re on restriction for two weeks until we see your grade is up in his class.”

 

“What!? But Dad, I thought I heard you just tell Mom you didn’t like him?”

 

“I may not like him but he’s your teacher and from what he just shared with me, you’ve not been the best student in his class and your grade reflects that.”

 

The position my teacher held was to be respected. While I never respected my teacher personally, I was taught I could tolerate a lot when I didn’t like someone–even where algebra was concerned.

 

Teach your child to respect a position if they can’t respect a person. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. 1Peter 2:17

 

[clickToTweet tweet="Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. 1Peter 2:17" quote="Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. 1Peter 2:17"]

 

This is how my kids have been able to have conversations and even friendships with people from China, India, Russia, Australia, Africa, and not just other cultures but other belief systems; agnostics, Buddhists, atheists, Hindus and more.

 

I have to constantly remind myself my kids are watching. What I model is what I’ll see. Instead of blocking bridges or shouting down someone who might think completely opposite of how I think and believe, I’m teaching my kids to engage in conversation and respect ALL people.

 

It’s this process where they’ll learn to love them, too.

 

Scriptures  About Respecting Others

 

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10

 

[clickToTweet tweet="Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 " quote="Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 "]

 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

 

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

 

Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9

 

A Little About Joanne

Joanne Kraft is a mom of four and the author of  The Mean Mom’s Guide to Raising Great Kids and Just Too Busy—Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. She’s been a repeat guest on Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and CBN. Her articles have appeared in ParentLife, Today’s Christian Woman, In Touch, Thriving Family, P31 Woman and more. Joanne and her husband, Paul, once lifelong Californians, moved their family to Tennessee. They’ve happily traded soy milk and arugula for sweet tea and biscuits.

Website http://joannekraft.com/ 

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Facebook Author Page:  http://goo.gl/nd3Jt

If you want to read more great posts about parenting, life and so much more, you'll definitely want to sign up for Joanne's blog!


Blessings,

Lisa

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How I Stopped Faking It and Finally Got Real with God

How I Stopped Faking It and Finally Got Real with God

For most of my life the notion of victorious Christian living felt like a heavy weight against my chest. A trap. A burden. I would read about living victoriously, I heard more sermons that I could count on the topic, but to be honest, it always felt like a trick question, an undoable task, something I’d have to work for but really could never earn.

I knew I was supposed to see God as gracious and compassionate, the loving grandfather-image with long white robe gathering the children around, but it seemed strangely ironic that I would have to work so hard to experience a little bit of His compassion and mercy.

Everyone else seemed to be living the joy-filled Christian life. They were experiencing abundance in their Christian walk that I knew nothing of. I could tell something was off, but I had no idea how to achieve this life of faith except to work for it.

Performance became a drug. Somehow I felt powerful to control and claim my worth. It was an insatiable drive, an all-encompassing need to achieve, to earn, to prove myself in His presence. I didn’t realize until much later that performing took me farther away from His presence than I could ever imagine. It cost me the thing I longed for most – my relationship with God.

Somewhere in my incessant doing, as my wheels of striving became increasingly unhinged, I ultimately came to the end of my addiction. It was there I reached out for something different. I embraced some new principles that ultimately transformed my relationship with God. So here they are:

End My Relationship With “Shoulds,” “Ought-Tos” and “Musts"

For so long I felt horrific shame when I didn’t feel a sense of euphoria or joy at the thought of spending time with God. Good Christians should long to spend time with God, I thought. I ought to spend time with Him, I reasoned, though many times my heart wasn’t in it.

I chose instead to begin building my relationship with God on meaning. I got honest with myself and honest with God. I stopped pretending and started living authentically with Him. I stopped doing all the things I felt compelled to do but never really wanted to do. I stopped beating myself up for not being consistent with my quiet time.

From then on, I freed myself to simply enjoy being with Him. I discovered how to find meaning in the moments of His presence with no agenda, no lists, or excuses. In areas and moments I lacked desire, I simply prayed for God to fill me with His desire. I allowed myself to experience Him in ways that were meaningful to me, even if foreign at times. Whether a walk with Him through nature, a lovely melody of worship that echoed somewhere deep in my heart spaces, or whether it was sitting with Him as He healed old wounds that had been hidden by years of layered callouses, for the first time I allowed His presence to simply wash over me, and refresh me. I remembered that He loved me before I ever knew how to love Him.

Be Intentional with Gratitude

Brennan Manning describes gratitude this way:

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust — not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God.

I had grappled with gratitude for so long. It seemed I was always waiting to get to the other side of life’s trials to acknowledge His provision and His blessing in my life. I was holding my breath for this season of striving to pass to see the miracle, to give thanks, and to offer appreciation.

Lately I’ve begun to realize the power of gratitude in every moment on my journey. Whether in victory or in defeat, gratitude allows me to welcome all experiences into the fabric of my story and cultivate meaning from every encounter. Instead of seeing God as capricious and tempermental, I see Him now as a loving Father, intimately connected with every victory, every defeat, and equally tender and caring in every moment of my life. For now, the intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart.

[clickToTweet tweet="The intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart. " quote="The intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart."]

Be Willing to Apologize – to Myself and to God

When I first stepped back from all of the ought-tos and musts and I discovered a quieting of some pressured spaces inside, I began to notice noisy thoughts flying wildly through my mind. These thoughts were cruel and punishing, relentless and terrible. These thoughts were about me, about everything I wasn’t, and nothing I could ever become. And for most of my life, I not only believed those thoughts, I also wholeheartedly believed those were the Father’s thoughts towards me.

You’ll never be good enough. You can’t get anything right. You’ll never be worthy, much less loved.

To be honest, I was bullying myself in a way that I would never allow another to be bullied.

It turns out I was also blaming God for how miserable I felt. I was insecure when I saw His favor in other people’s lives. I remained anxious, disconnected, and resentful because that somehow felt safer than allowing others to see how I really felt about God. I needed to keep my painful reality, my faulty faith hidden from the world, from myself, and from God.

When I began to risk getting honest and exposing the reality of my broken and bandaged self, I was freed from the prison of maintaining a crumbling façade. I was freed to apologize to myself and to God for my errant cruelty. I could stop pretending, performing, and perfecting, and get back to the basics of being, of living, of loving— myself and God. I could let go of what I thought a good Christian was because what I realized was that I didn’t need to be a good Christian as much as I needed to have a passionate connection with my Father.

I cannot do it on my own. I rest in His faithful provision to complete the work He has started, knowing that His work in my life is the ultimate gift of love.

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The One Thing We Need Most In Times Like These

I’ve been stressed lately. Really stressed. The air around me feels tense, the ground uneven, the future highly uncertain. Watching the news can send my blood pressure skyrocketing. I find myself seeking respite in Little House On The Prairie reruns just to take my mind off of everything that is swirling around me.

Because my inner wellbeing is a high priority for me, I can tell when something tips me off balance.   I don’t like this place. I don’t like the agitation, the irritability. I don’t like the anger that stews inside as I read through social media posts or supposed news articles. It makes me not “me.”

I think most of us feel this way at times. In different ways, for different reasons, we all can feel the hurt, the overwhelm, the despair that life can measure out with equal parts liberality and impunity. We have each at some point been backed into the corner of heartache and left wondering where we go to find healing? Where can we turn to find relief? Is there any hope that there is something to bind up what is so terribly broken between us as friends, neighbors, communities, and as a nation?

I don’t know. What I do know is that I cannot live in this kind of distress. I cannot live in this anxious unpeace, in the absence of my calm, present strength. This kind of muffled chaos takes too great a toll on my heart and keeps me from being who God created me to be, from fulfilling what God purposed in me. From my desperate need for peace.

So if I’m honest, whether it is in relationships, in business, in seasons of political tumult, I have found only one remedy to keep my sanity. One prescription that prevents the callouses from thickening around the edges of my heart and planting bitter seeds of rage deep in the bottom of my soul.

I pray.

I pray for the person who hurt me, who abandoned me in my time of need. I pray for the ones who offered shame in my distress and judgment in my brokenness. I pray for people who sometimes feel so foreign I can barely comprehend how we landed on this planet together. I pray for the angry who spew hatred everywhere. I pray for them. I call them by name.

For leaders I cannot understand and should not trust, for coworkers, for friends and enemies alike. I pray.

There is power that comes from the prayer of blessing.

I pray that they would have a life-altering, life-giving encounter with the cross of Jesus Christ, from whom ALL blessings flow. I pray that God Almighty would bless them beyond measure. I pray that He would cover them, anoint them, that He would multiply Heaven’s bounty in their lives. I pray for their children and their children’s children. That they would know they are loved. That they would know their worth, their value, that God would call them and use them for His purposes; that they would discover their unique calling and walk in it. I pray that they would be blessed and that God would fulfill His purposes for their lives. I pray that the heavens would open up, that their barns would be full and their hearts be rich. I pray that goodness, compassion, and kindness follow them in their work, their homes, and their lives.

How can this be, Lisa? you may ask. How can you pray blessing over someone who has abused you, grieved you, called you every name to mock and belittle you and your faith?

I pray, because it is in prayer, blessing in particular, that I am blessed. Prayer keeps the stain of resentment from searing itself to my heart. It is prayer that quells my disquieted and unsettled spirit. It is prayer that connects me to my friend, my spouse, my sibling, my neighbor and keeps us working together instead of prying us apart in disillusionment, hurt, and regret.

I pray because praying blessing connects me to myself and frees me to be “me.” Prayer allows me to live out my truest identity, my Belovedness. Praying blessing strengthens my soul spaces, multiplying my reservoir of compassion, of humility, of love. I pray because prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. Yes, unforgiveness.

[clickToTweet tweet="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. #prayer #healing" quote="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness."]

More than anything, praying blessing connects me to my Abba, Father. It releases to Him all that straps me to this world of hurt and misunderstanding. Prayer surrenders all the things I cannot understand, much less control. It reminds me of what I hold dear, what not to lose sight of, and what just a little grace can do for a broken, sullied spirit.

In prayer I am set free.

[clickToTweet tweet="In prayer I am set free. #prayer #healing #freedom #faith" quote="In prayer I am set free."]

I wonder what might happen if we all, instead of posting our diatribes on Facebook in defense of a post we don’t like, prayed blessing over the person who posted? I wonder what our relationships could look like if we began praying blessing over our loved ones, even those with whom we may disagree? I wonder if somehow some of this bitter pill we’ve all been swallowing would ease a little and we could feel more like friends rather than foes. I’m tired of seeing others as foes. Are you?

Who do you need to pray blessing over today? Where are the stress points in your life and in your relationships? What obstacle stands in the way of prayer?

If you want to know more about prayer, my friend, Carolyn Dale Newell, has just written an exceptional devotional, “Incense Rising,” on the importance and impact of prayer. Carolyn is an amazing spirit, a talented writer, and a fellow journeyer. She has the gift of encouragement, and though she has completely lost her eyesight, she has never lost her faith.

I love this devotional because it not only teaches us about the various aspects and attitudes of prayer, it guides us through the practice of prayer and prepares us to do active, spiritual warfare on our knees. She writes about all the names of God, their history, and their meaning, so that we can begin using them to empower our prayer life. Throughout the book, she always leads us back to the Word as the source for our prayers.

No matter what situation you are in, no matter what struggle you face, “Incense Rising” will recharge an renew your prayer life and offer both substance and strength for you on your journey of faith.

[clickToTweet tweet="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! #prayer " quote="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! "]

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Let The Church Be The Church

An Open Letter To The Christian Community About Serving Those With Mental Illness

He came to live with us after a brief stay at a local psychiatric hospital. He needed a safe place to regroup and regain some semblance of stability. Over many months, his life had come haltingly unraveled and his hospital visit was the beginning of a new life with a new diagnosis.

His journey was a daunting one. The courage he displayed in facing his mental illness and finding his way back from the chaos to build a life of stability and hope was nothing short of inspirational. My heart aches to witness these beautiful, brave human beings fighting such a fierce and lonely battle.

Yet for many families dealing with mental illness within the Christian community, finding any kind of support or spiritual guidance can be challenging. Though I have been blessed to attend an incredibly strong and supportive church, according to Lifeway Research, most Protestant senior pastors (66 percent) seldom speak to their congregation about mental illness.

It is often common practice in churches to treat mental illness differently than other illnesses. Somehow we immediately assume there is something else, some deeper spiritual struggle causing the mental and emotional strain.

Maybe there is. But maybe there isn’t. We don’t automatically assume that someone with cancer is in sin or needs to be freed from a satanic attack. Why then do we label or minimize the legitimacy of mental illness?

LifeWay Research recently conducted a study on mental illness within the church and found that a third of Americans—and nearly half of evangelical, fundamentalist, or born-again Christians—believe prayer and Bible study alone can overcome serious mental illness. There are more than a few anecdotal stories from individuals in the church body who have been discouraged from taking psychotropic medications, some even being shamed for it, suggesting that seeking help for mental disorders represents spiritual weakness.

These teachings are disheartening because they prevent people from getting the help they desperately need. They also prevent the church from being what they were designed to be —the church.

Ed Stetzer noted, We can talk about diabetes and Aunt Mable’s lumbago in church—those are seen as medical conditions, but mental illness–that’s somehow seen as a lack of faith.

What the church needs to come to terms with and understand is that mental illness is not just a spiritual condition or weakness. These are real disorders with both biological and environmental causes. Those suffering shouldn’t be told to have more faith, to “get into the Word,” or to pray more. We would never say those kinds of things to those dealing with cancer, heart disease, or diabetes.

What those dealing with mental illness need most from the church is for us to be the hands and feet of Christ, ministering compassion, love and truth to a hurting world in need.

In Matthew 11:29 (NIV) Jesus says, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Jesus tells us that He is gentle and humble in heart. If we are to be His hands and feet, perhaps Jesus intends that we the church become gentle and humble in dealing with the mentally ill. He doesn’t intend for those in the body to add a heavier burden, but for us to be a safe refuge where the wounded and weary among us can find compassion and grace to strengthen them on their journey.

The church is well equipped to meet the needs of people in every kind of crisis. We are the first to arrive on the front lines of any disaster or war and the last to leave communities rebuilding after a crisis. We are generous beyond measure in our giving to individuals, organizations, and causes that routinely serve those in need. We know how to use the power of prayer to unleash the forces of heaven over any illness, relationship crisis, wayward child, or financial distress. We know how to care for people.

What would happen to those suffering from depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, or a host of other mental disorders if the body of Christ were to simply do the things we already know how to do so well?

We don’t have to cure those struggling with mental health issues. We shouldn’t feel compelled to fix them. Yet we can surely pray for them. We can walk with them. We can offer a meal, a ride, a cup of coffee, or a listening ear to them. Maybe we could babysit for them while they are at their counseling appointments. We in the church body could even begin a conversation about mental health needs that have been hidden in the shadows for far too long.

Churches need to become places where people feel welcomed to talk about their mental health. God wants the body to care for the whole person. and our emotional/mental struggles are such a huge part of our individual and collective journeys. Let’s share our struggles instead pretending they don’t exist. Let’s rejoice in our victories and grieve our relapses instead of judging them or quietly walking away. More than anything, let’s do this journey together. Isn’t that what we all need – to live and love, to serve and save, to rescue and reclaim our hearts together?

God loves all of His children. He has a purpose for each and every one. We should never need those who struggle with mental disorders to get “right,” so they can be used by God. Perhaps God wants to use them right where they are to teach us about perseverance, about courage, about faith. We would do well to learn and to listen.

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The Way Of Faith In a PC World

Lately I’ve been feeling a tug somewhere deep within me. Really, it’s more than a tug and I’ve been feeling it for a while now. 

It was subtle, almost imperceptible at first. Yet the pull between worshipping God or worshipping the god of political correctness has become more critical and demanding, bringing with it both conviction and consequences.

 

I have been a Christ follower since the age of thirteen. My faith has been my foundation and guiding force in life. It informs everything I do —every conversation, every choice, relationship, interaction. My faith has always taught me to be respectful, kind, compassionate…as Jesus was.

 

So when the media began encouraging us to watch our words, to be “non-offensive,” I eagerly obliged. No problem. The rhetoric appeared very much in line with my values as a Believer.

 

They called it “political correctness,” a term adopted in the late 1970’s by feminists and progressives, “ironically, as a guard against their own orthodoxy in social change efforts." Though it wasn’t used frequently until the latter part of the 20th century, the term has come to communicate a stronger social disapproval in more recent years than it did in its infancy.

 

It seemed benign. Political correctness is defined in modern usage as, language, policies, or measures which are intended not to offend or disadvantage any particular group of people in society. That sounds great, right? Who wants to offend or disadvantage?

 

With this new term came a new set of speech codes researched by University of Pennsylvania professor Alan Charles Kors and lawyer Harvey A. Silverglate that, mandate a redefined notion of ‘freedom,’ based on the belief that the imposition of a moral agenda on a community is ‘justified’, a view which, requires less emphasis on individual rights and more on assuring ‘historically oppressed’ persons the means of achieving equal rights.

 

The Subtle Surrender

 

So little by little, like the slow drip of a faucet, we were instructed by political and/or cultural forces on the areas we, the general public, were disrespecting or “offending” an individual or group. Whether it was through the names we used to identify ethnicities or groups of people, or whether it was in the laws passed to protect disadvantaged groups, we quietly acquiesced. No sense in making a big fuss, we thought.

 

When the elimination of God in our schools, communities, or public squares began and the ACLU began filing lawsuits at every statue, monument, or prayer in order not to offend anyone, we became slightly uncomfortable. We consoled ourselves with the notion that our values and beliefs were the foundation of our country and would surely never be dismantled. Why fight back? That’s not the “Christian” way. God is in control anyway, we quietly repeated.

 

Inside, I felt the pull. The pull between my faith and this new faith, this new religion. Religion, according to Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary is defined as,  A personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices;
a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith.

 

Political correctness has become the religion of the 21st century. Its system of attitudes and practices, worshipped with as much devotion as any traditional religion, has transformed the landscape of American culture and infiltrated every aspect of society.

 

Throughout the years what began as a program fostering respect has become anything but respectful. Somewhere along the way, encouragements have become commands, and the rhetoric every day appears less tolerant and inclusive, more demanding and punitive. The delineation between love and hate would seem crystallized around one’s agreement or disagreement with established, modern dogmas or theologies.

 

Don’t agree with their agenda? You will be immediately labeled and denounced. Want to live in a way that honors traditional values and beliefs? You might just lose your job, your business, and you may be targeted with ridicule and condemnation.

 

There is coming a day friends, perhaps it has already arrived, when we who identify as Believers will have to choose. We will no longer be able to straddle the fence, we won’t be able to find a comfortable spot in the warm shade of grey. For the grey areas of life are shrinking rapidly.

 

As I’ve contemplated the tug in my heart, the increasing and unrelenting pressure inside, I’ve recognized that it is shaking me out of any dull, comfortable slumber in which I had previously existed. It is forcing me to face myself, face my God, and define in the clearest, strongest fashion my ‘faith manifesto,’ —the who, the what, my life is going to stand and how I am going to engage all people in a way that is congruent with my beliefs and values, that is born from my deepest commitment to God.

 

The Way of Faith

 

So here it is - as perfectly imperfect, at times broken and unsteady as the journeyer writing this can be. Yet hopefully this will give clarity and wisdom to my steps and my words for the days that lie ahead.

 

1.I will passionately live out my faith. I will follow God alone. I will lay hold of and live out my beliefs and values not through the media, the persuasion of public opinion, or the fear of ridicule. I will define the principles by which I live through the Bible and the Holy Spirit, who is my Comforter, my Teacher, my Counselor, my Encourager, my Friend.

 

Scripture says, If you love me, keep my commands. Though I will be an imperfect warrior, a broken and flawed vessel, my heart is to seek Him, worship Him, and serve Him above all.

 

2.  I will offer love. In the clinical world we use a term called ‘unconditional positive regard.’ What that means is that whoever walks through my door, wherever their background, whatever their color, conviction, or creed, I will show unconditional positive regard. I will see their humanity just as mine and will humbly and gratefully walk with them along their journey. The word ‘love’ means, a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion; and unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.

 

John 13:34 (NIV) says, A new commandment I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

 

John 13:35 (NIV,) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="John 13:35 (NIV,) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." quote="John 13:35 (NIV,) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."]

 

3.  I will be a safe place. I don’t need everyone to agree with me. I am free to hold and live out my values and beliefs while being close to someone who may or may not be just like me. I don’t need others to validate my identity, spiritual or emotional. I don’t need others to make it ‘safe’ for me or my views, and still, as a consequence of my safety, I can offer safety to those with whom I am in relationship.

 

Scripture says, It is His lovingkindness that leads to repentance. In the counseling office, no one experiences transformation in a hostile, unsafe environment. It is the essence of safety that allows individuals to open themselves, their deepest wounds, and experience insight, light, and life.

 

4.  I will show respect. Respect is, an act of giving particular attention: consideration; high or special regard: esteem; the quality or state of being esteemed. Respect simply means I show others consideration, esteem, kindness. Respect is not offered as a reward for respect shown to me. I do my best to respect others because that is who I am. Christ-followers should be the model for transformed lives.

 

I Peter 2:17 encourages us to, Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. The second commandment from Mark 12:31(NIV) says that we are to, love our neighbor as our self. Be with your neighbor. Don’t isolate from them. Consider them. Help them. Respect them. Love them.

 

5.  I will not judge the person. We were all created in the image of God. We are each wholly and divinely loved by God. Our worth was settled at our creation. In judging another’s character, value, or inherent worth, I judge and condemn my own. I will do my best to show honor and respect to others, whether I agree with them or not, whether they judge me or not.  

 

Matt 7:1-2 (NIV) tells us, Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 

6. I will judge behaviors. We all judge behaviors. It seems that a convenient and powerful tool of the PC culture has been to quote Matthew 7:1 that we should, judge not lest we be judged. Unfortunately, many who don’t fully understand Scripture remain silenced and/or sidelined by that passage. Scripture is clear that we should not judge (condemn the worth, value, or character of) another individual. And Scripture is equally clear that we as Believers should judge (discern, declare, assess) that which is right or wrong, that we are to distinguish between that which is righteous and congruent with the Word of God, and that which is in error or rebellion to God.

 

YES, we are to judge – the behavior, not the person. I will never call sin un-sin. I will never, whether mine or another’s, applaud the willful rejection of that which is true, noble, and of good report. I will never call wrong right. I cannot.

 

John 7:24 (ESV) offers, Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

 

Colossians 1:9(NIV) shares, For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.

 

Amos 5:14-15 tells us to, Seek good, and not evil, that ye may live: and so the LORD, the God of hosts, shall be with you, as ye have spoken. Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: it may be that the LORD God of hosts will be gracious unto the remnant of Joseph.

 

2 Timothy 4:2 (NIV) states that we should, Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

 

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) offers, Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

 

Worshipping the god of political correctness is dangerous precisely because there is no concrete declaration of what their mission looks like in its entirety or when it will be accomplished. It is ever-evolving, always changing. PC will simply demand a little more, and a little more, until there are no moral absolutes, no sin, no aberrant, no abnormal, where there is no need for God, no need for redemption, no need for a Savior.

 

Matthew 6:24a (NIV) says, No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

 

Whom will you choose to worship? When it comes down to it, will you choose to worship Yahweh or the god of this age.

 

Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. His truth doesn’t bend or pretend based on popularity or fame. It doesn’t cater to, nor does it sanctify tickling rhetoric or political agendas just to be en vogue. God is love, yet He is at the same time holy, righteous, and just. He is beautiful and unequalled. He has made a way for each of us to escape the consequence of our broken, sinful nature —His name is Jesus. He died for you and me. He can heal the deepest heartaches and mend our broken, wayward ways. He is good and yes, He is God.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. " quote="Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. "]

 

The Good News

 

We have a choice and an opportunity. The good news is that the more polarized society becomes, there is less room for a casual faith, less space for half-hearted sentiment or generic tradition. The good news is that anytime, any place we can claim our faith and begin to pursue a passionate journey with God.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="The good news is that we can claim our faith and begin to pursue a passionate journey with God." quote="The good news is that anytime, any place we can claim our faith and begin to pursue a passionate journey with God."]

 

Emotionally-abundant individuals know their spiritual and emotional identity and choose to live congruent with their beliefs and values. This gives strength, it provides meaning, it amplifies purpose. A “pick-and-choose faith” has no foundation and is destined for weakness and/or collapse.

 

As the tug between worshiping God or the god of political correctness becomes more uncomfortable and untenable, we have the opportunity to get off the sidelines of our faith. We can live out passionately a strong faith that embodies truth and love, is wrapped in compassion, respect, and kindness. True faith never advocates hatred- period.

 

Pastor Rick Warren beautifully summarizes this truth as he states,

 

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

 

Have you felt the tug? How is God challenging you to a stronger faith?

 

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.


About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The Journey To Becoming His Beloved

I'm so blessed to be sharing today at

(in)courage.me !

I was always an anxious kid. I cried at my first piano recital and begged not to play. I finally relented and played anyway. I was permanently attached to my mom’s leg whether we were at church, at school, or even the grocery store.

 

There was no end to what I was afraid of. I was afraid of the monsters in the closet, afraid of my teachers, afraid of the popular kids in school. I was afraid of myself, of being rejected, of being ridiculed, of not being enough. And as I realized much later, I was also afraid of God... 

I'd love to have you stop by and read more of my story. If you are encouraged, I'd love for you to share!

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Blessings, friends!

Lisa

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Four Key Elements To Discovering Your Purpose

And how to make the days ahead the most meaningful ever 

Delores had always been a vibrant, passionate woman. She had been active in her church, taught Bible studies for more years than she could remember, and routinely invested herself in the lives of the women she taught.

 

Sitting with her, her eyes welled up with tears. She seemed lost.

 

Ever since she retired and relocated to be near her children, she hadn’t been able to find a church community in which to invest herself. Every church already had their programs, their teachers. Her children and their families were busy with their lives and she struggled to nurture the kind of relationships she had always dreamed of with her grandchildren.

 

Her husband was now passed and this woman who had lived with such strength, passion, and purpose, now struggled to make sense of her life. She ached to have a place to plant herself. Her spirit was parched for soil in which she would thrive. Lonely, she began to sink into depression. Was this it?, she wondered. Was there a purpose at all to her life? 

 

Katie is in her late 20’s. Though she has a job, she longs to find her purpose in life – God’s unique calling to which she can dedicate her life. She searches to find her purpose every day in her career and her relationships, yet ends up feeling more confused and farther from her pursuit than ever.

 

Without a compass to give stability, direction, and meaning, she remains locked in a cycle of emptiness and wandering. Some days life feels overwhelming, almost unbearable.

 

Most of us can recall similar feelings at some point in our lives—the emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking, and the depression. They all merge together, and they always seem to present themselves in the dimmest moments of twilight.

 

We all need purpose. 

 

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian existential psychologist, created a school of thought called logotherapy. Frankl believed that our dominant driving force is to find meaning in life.

 

In the 1940s, Frankl was held prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. He felt the horror of losing everything only to be tortured and terrorized. With all the agony and brutality, what kept Frankl from giving up his relentless fight for his life?

 

Purpose. He was able to find meaning in his struggle, and that’s what gave him the power to push forward through unimaginable pain.

 

After escaping the concentration camps, Frankl published a book called Man’s Search for Meaning, which explores his experiences and includes an overview of logotherapy. A quote by Nietzsche nicely sums up his philosophy on how people were able to survive the camps, without losing the will to live:

 

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="'He who has a 'why' to live for can bear almost any 'how'.' Viktor Frankl" quote="'He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.' Viktor Frankl"]

 

That is the power of purpose. We can find meaning and purpose in our relationships, we can find it in our values and beliefs. We can find purpose in our relationship with God, and we can explore our God-given passions to cultivate potential purposes for our lives.

 

In my book, Peace For A Lifetime, I explore three things that must align for you to discover your purpose: identity, beliefs and values, and passions. However, there’s one vital piece to the purpose puzzle that’s missing.

 

God’s purpose will always be connected with giving, not getting.

 

We tend to look for something external that will provide direction or purpose, that will fill the void inside. It’s counter-intuitive, but our search for purpose will emerge from what we are giving of ourselves to others.

 

Viktor Frankl describes,

 

Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.

 

Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people. Sounds so simple, right? The more we learn to serve others, the more fulfilled and satisfied we become.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people." quote="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people."]

 

 

God’s purpose will always align with how He has made us.

 

As we define our identity (our core strengths and weaknesses) and our most deeply held beliefs and values, our curiosities used in service to others will explode into a relentless passion that emerges into a vibrant dynamic purpose.

 

  1. Know your identity – write down a list of strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Define your beliefs and values – write down your beliefs about life, faith, relationships, work.
  3. Explore your passions – write down a list of things that interest you or make you curious.
  4. How can you use the above three to serve a cause, a person, a community, or an organization other than yourself?

 

Once you identify these things, you will have a map to begin discovering your purpose. It may not include fame, it may not have a giant salary attached to it; it may be different than you had ever dreamed. Yet finding and engaging the purpose for which you were created will provide the greatest meaning and satisfaction you can imagine.

 

Do you enjoy talking with people? Where can you begin volunteering to talk or read with people who perhaps are lonely and would love a good conversation?

 

Do you enjoy cooking? How can you identify individuals, families, or organizations within your community for whom you can begin cooking meals?

 

Are you gifted at teaching, writing, organizing, helping? There is no right or wrong. Get creative and try out several things.

 

Your purpose today may look different than it did twenty years ago. God is always growing us to develop new passions and purposes for every season of our lives.

 

Explore the things you love today and begin to look for ways you can use your gift to bless someone. In the end, you will be giving yourself the biggest blessing of all. You will be living your life on purpose with purpose.

 

How have you struggled to find your purpose in life? What is God showing you about Himself and about you along your journey? 

I’d love to hear!

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.


About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You're Stranded On The Side Of The Road With No Help In Sight

It was an earlier night than usual.  Thankful to be leaving the office ahead of schedule, I began to pull down the driveway and head for home.  I still had a few minutes before the sun set.  It was a warm, yet lovely evening.

 

I hadn't driven more than a few feet when I realized something was wrong.  Instinctively I stopped, got out, and began to walk around my SUV.  When I rounded the back corner I noticed it - a flat tire.

 

It wasn't just a little low on air, it was completely flat. 

 

Weird, I thought.  I just drove back from lunch a few hours ago and everything was fine. Now what?

 

I reached for my phone and dialed.  As soon as my husband answered and learned of my distress, he was on his way.  When he arrived, he immediately shined his lights on my car so he could see to change the flat tire.

 

He began to assemble his tools and went to work as the light around us quickly dimmed.  He not only changed the tire, he gently walked me step by step through the process, teaching me how to change one, if I were ever in a situation where I needed to.

 

As the sun finally slid beneath the horizon and the beautiful countryside went dark, we finished up, put on the spare tire, and headed home.  He followed me the entire drive home through the winding country roads with their steep embankments.  The light from his car was never far behind.  What care and protection I felt in that moment.

 

The next day as I thought through the events of the night before, I suddenly realized, Isn't that the way God is with me?  Isn't He always ready to rescue me in my mess, in my need, in my despair?

 

The moment I call, He doesn't put me on hold, He doesn't ignore my plea.  He is always present, always available, always ready to meet me wherever I am, whatever my need.

 

2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJV) reminds me that, The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

 

He is ever-present for any of His children.  He loves us.  He waits for opportunities to care for us in the needful moments of our lives, to show Himself strong on our behalf.  There is something so comforting and reassuring about resting in someone's strength.  About exhaling our weakness and surrendering the weight of our world to someone utterly powerful, and willful, someone muscular, safe, and strong.  He is strong.

 

I love that whenever He comes, He not only comes with strength, He also shines His light brightly wherever He goes, whether He shines it on my circumstances, whether He shines it on my path, or into my heart.  His light is ever-present to reveal my pain, to heal my dulled, deep wounds, and to remove my darkest shame. 

 

John 1:5 (NIV) reminds me that, The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="John 1:5 (NIV) reminds me that, The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. " quote="John 1:5 (NIV) reminds me that, The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. "]

 

Isaiah 58:8 (NIV) adds, Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

 

His light shines into each moment as He guides me, teaches me, grows me up to be more and more like Him.  He never leaves me stranded.  He never leaves me helpless and unsure.  He graciously and lovingly instructs me so that I can be prepared for whatever purpose He is calling me.

 

I love the end of Isaiah 58:8, when He says, the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Just like my husband following behind me down those dark and winding roads, God, too will always be shining His light, His glory, His protection from behind. 

 

If you feel today that God has lost sight of you, that He's left you stranded and alone, He is waiting.  He is present with you.  He sees you in your distress.  He stands there waiting for you.  You can pick up the phone and call.  He ran to my rescue, He will run to your rescue, too.  He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core." quote="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core."]

 

Have you called out to Him?  Perhaps today is the day you ask Him to come save you from your sin, your pain, your hopelessness.  Perhaps there is a struggle so dark and heavy, you feel like it just might swallow you whole. 

 

Here's one thing I know - even when you're stranded on the side of the road and it feels like there's no hope in sight, your healing is just a simple call away.

 

How has God rescued you in your distress?  How has He shined His light and followed you out of a dark place?  I'd love to hear!

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.


About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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What To Do When Bad Things Happen and We’re Rocked To The Core

We’ve all experienced tragedies beyond our control that seemingly come from nowhere. They devastate us, they rock us to the core, they leave us feeling too overwhelmed and disoriented to muster the courage to get up and face this big, chaotic world for another day. Sometimes it seems it would be easier just to stay in bed and pull the covers up high so we can pretend that nothing at all has happened. Perhaps this was just a bad dream after all.

It seems the magnitude and frequency of tragedies in society today challenges our deepest emotional and spiritual fortitude. Are we safe? we wonder. Will it ever end? How do we make sense of all this anguish and terror? What do we do to keep moving forward?

These questions reverberate in our souls. We can ignore them, we can push them into the shadowy corners of our minds, but when another tragedy happens, when another life is senselessly lost, they reappear and force us to face this harsh reality once again.

Whether it is a national tragedy, whether it is a tragedy in our communities or in our homes, the reality is that bad things will happen. They are an inevitable part of life this side of heaven. I’ve found four things we can do when we are faced with tragedy so we can move forward productively in our lives, no matter the circumstance.

Recognize the need to feel your emotions.

Though we may not have been directly affected, sometimes we experience significant emotions in response to tragedies around us. We are tempted to run, to distract ourselves, to minimize the importance of what we are feeling. We dismiss. Sometimes we shame. Sometimes all we feel is the numbness of the shock.

Because Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NIV) tells us that , There is a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance, we know that it is important to allow ourselves to connect with and feel our emotions. We cannot heal if we cannot feel. It is a requirement for us to deal with all of the tragedies in life, to grieve them, and be able to move forward from them so we can rebuild our lives as well as our sense of direction and purpose. We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve.

[clickToTweet tweet="We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve." quote="We must grieve each and every loss. We need to grieve."]

Learn to talk ourselves off of the ledge.

Extreme thoughts bounce around in the confines of our minds. They are relentless. They tell us that we are next, that there is nowhere safe, that this would have never happened if…. These thoughts are normal in the context of our grieving, yet it is vital to recognize our deepest heart-fears and learn to talk ourselves through them to a better place.

2 Corinthians 10:5b says that, we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Not every thought that flows through our minds is true, not every thought is rational, good, or balanced. We must learn how to balance our thoughts, how to soothe our fears. We must become practiced at maintaining a hopeful, truthful dialogue with ourselves. Doing so will prepare us to live life to its fullest and be as grounded as possible for whatever challenges will come.

Choose to cultivate meaning and purpose in our lives.

Viktor Frankl once described how Holocaust survivors were able to endure their horrific suffering because they were able to find meaning and purpose for their lives and their suffering. Their faith gave them a greater foundation for deeper understanding and human compassion.

We can never prevent evil men from committing evil acts. In the midst of our sorrow, we can choose to allow these situations to transform our faith and take us into deeper communion with God. We can glean every measure of meaning possible from these horrific, violent experiences and honor the beautiful lives lost with the gift of remembering them, their stories, their accomplishments and their humanity. We can bind ourselves together and corporately purge the evil residue of hatred and sorrow to create a greater vision and purpose. 

Release to God what we cannot control.

Tragedies serve as a reminder that so much in life is beyond our control. As advanced as our technologies have become, as sophisticated as modern systems of reasoning and understanding have brought us, in the end, there is nothing that can entirely protect us or prevent future tragedies from happening.

We will drive ourselves to despair trying to control that which is helplessly out of our control. Part of being able to move past our grief and rebuild our lives lies in releasing to God the things we cannot clutch, force, or mend. The more we are able to exhale and surrender our fear, the more we will be able to heal what has been torn into a thousand pieces and begin to reclaim our future the best way we know how. Surrender allows us to move further towards acceptance as we gather together the pieces of sorrow and joy, and begin to once again take steps forward towards life. Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come.

[clickToTweet tweet="Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come." quote="Life will come again. Though it will never look quite the same, in time life will come."]

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You’re Ready To Run, But God’s Called You To Rest

Lately I feel like I’ve been running at full speed for, well it seems like forever, and I just hit a brick wall. 

Do you ever have those times? Times when you’ve finished a project or season God called you to, and just in the moment when you are ready to dive headlong into the next mission, when you can feel the adrenaline pumping full-force through your veins, He calls you to rest.

 

Rest in those moments feels nothing like rest. It feels like it felt as a child when I was relegated to my room for an interminable period of quiet, as a time-out from everything I was really wanting to do. Forced seclusion.

 

What does a body do with four walls and a mind that won’t stop thinking, looking for the next need, the next mission as if the world will come unhinged if something gets overlooked or worse yet, undone?

 

So here’s where I am. I have to admit my soul is stirring, there’s a lot of heart work to do out there. My calling, my passion is to walk with people on their journeys. I can see the heartache. I can feel the overwhelmed, anxious helplessness as if it is stirring through my veins. And yet the word I hear God whispering today is…rest.

 

Rest? How can I rest when there is so much to be done?

 

And then I heard Him whisper to my heart,

 

Rest, because I need you to rest. To find rest. To find Me. To just be with Me. You are right, my child, there’s a whole big world out there that’s desperate for more than you can give. It’s okay. I see them, too. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t overlooked.

 

Trust that I am big enough to notice all of the discouragement, to see every soul who despairs. I see the broken, the exhausted, the battle-weary, the cynical, the eyes filled with anger for all of the injustice. I see the oceans full of disappointed dreams and calloused, dulled hopes. I see you.

 

Trust that in your rest I am nurturing something new. Your rest is required. Your rest is the next step on your journey. Not a place of punishment, not a time-out, but a carefully designed respite with Me, to simply be with you and enjoy you. To celebrate, to laugh. To share stories in the twilight and notice the sunset together. I see you.

 

Trust that you are enough. Just as you are. You are significant because I formed you in your mother’s womb. You are cherished because I planned you long before the foundation of the universe. You are beautiful and yes, worthy. You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. " quote="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you."]

 

So wherever you are today, whatever season of silence you are wading through, whatever hopes and dreams hang in the balance… rest. Trust that God notices you on your knees crying out to Him in the sleepless nights. Trust that He’s well-acquainted with your most tender, swollen wounds. Trust that He sees you right where you are, just as you are. You are precious to Him. He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself." quote="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself."]

 

I can’t think of anything else I need more today.

 

How is God calling you to Himself today? What is one thing you can do today to find rest?

Blessings,

Lisa

 

 

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.


About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You Feel Like God Has Forgotten The Desires Of Your Heart

Sometimes maybe dreams don’t come true. 

I held tightly to Psalm 37:4b (NIV) that He will give you the desires of your heart. I had memorized that verse as a little girl and recited it faithfully as I dreamed of what my life would be.

 

Month after month I prayed, I waited. To be honest I spent much of my time begging and pleading with God. The dream of having a child was not an easy one to get past. Strollers, babies, blankets, loom around every corner. They are usually joyful experiences, witnessing the miracle of new life. Yet these were not joyful experiences for me. Each was a reminder of the dream. The vacancy in my heart that had never been filled.

 

How do I fill this? I wondered. How do you get past this most primal, basic human drive, a dream that you have carried with you since you were a little girl?

 

I didn’t know. I endured, carrying this pain with me wherever I went. Some moments were filled with a deep and wearying sorrow. Some moments, anger. There were people who didn’t understand. How could you feel the loss of something you never had? they questioned.

 

But I could. I did.

 

I could never get past God’s words to me. I believed Him when He said that He would give me the desires of my heart.

 

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when.

 

I understood Sarah’s laughter at God’s promise to her (Genesis 18) as she could feel her body aging, as she faced the window of time slowly closing in around her. I laughed, too.

 

In time I relented to the grief I had for so long held at bay. I gave in to the waves of pain that engulfed me. Silently, loudly, deeply, desperately – I grieved.

 

In the midst of my grief I somehow wondered if God’s words were true. I questioned whether He saw me right in the midst of my brokenness. Whether He had a miracle for me, like He did for Sarah.

 

As I healed, I began to discover that God’s miracles were all around me. His provision had been there all along. I began see my stepchildren as God’s gift for me to love, to invest myself. I saw my nephews and nieces as His blessing of little miracles and joys in my life. As a professional therapist, I see each and every client I have the honor to work with as my children. I love them. I delight in them. I get to pour out God’s love to them and walk with them as they build their lives, as they heal, as they grow.

 

My healing grew as God cemented in me my identity as His beloved. As He showed me my value and worth. My healing birthed in me new passions and purposes. My healing allowed me to discover and build a life full of hope, full of wholeness, full of abundance. Above all, full of peace.

 

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I not only share bits of my journey toward peace, but I also share other individual’s stories of how to cultivate a life of healing and wholeness in whatever circumstances life brings.

 

If you have ever experienced the loss of a dream, God has not forgotten or abandoned you. He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. He had one for me.

 

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No, God didn’t give me a baby. Yet He has been faithful. He has fulfilled every desire of my heart. He will fulfill the desires of your heart, too.

 

I have many children. My heart is full. Abundant.

 

Whatever you dream is, with God dreams really do come true!

 

What are the desires of your heart that have not yet been fulfilled?  Leave your comment below.  I'd love to hear your journey!

 

 

About Lisa

 

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My desire is to provide a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN with my husband and 16yr old Shih-tzu, Sophie.

 

 

About Peace for a Lifetime

 

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

 

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Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com

I'd love to have you join the Peace for a Lifetime community on Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

 

 

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