Do you find yourself judging others? Sometimes I do, and I don’t like it. It’s not God’s best for me. I can never experience the abundant life God desires as long as I allow judgment to fester inside and spread like a cancer through my heart. Little by little I am learning to surrender judgment and replace it with compassion and blessing. Here’s how…
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love
We equate wholeness with perfection, with having it all together, with success. Yet the meaning of wholeness is perhaps just the opposite.
Wholeness, at its very core, implies rather than an absence of brokenness, the innate existence of a fractured, fragile, astoundingly imperfect self. Wholeness, is about embracing our brokenness as an integral part of life.
For most of my life, I longed to be whole. I was hungry for it. Desperate. I became vigilant, some might say obsessed with achieving, attaining. My focus was on becoming as perfect as I could be, on removing any faults or defects. For me, the finish line of success was where I would become whole.
As I walked through the “season of my undoing” and stumbled upon the door of my healing, I discovered that I could lay down this mountain of pain I had been carrying, that I didn’t have to become perfect, that I could accept, even embrace my brokenness.
Embracing my brokenness allows me breathe.
It is exhausting to carry the weight of shame and fear on my shoulders. Impossible to bear up under such an insurmountable and unforgiving oppressor – me.
My Abba Father whispered to my soul, Child, Why do you carry such a weight when my Son already carried it for you?
He hung on the cross for every broken place, every shame, every sorrow. Our past was redeemed. Our present is His gift to us, free and clear. And our future is secure. Why do we insist on placing the weight of our shame back on our shoulders?
I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost likesetting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. _C.S. Lewis
Wholeness allows me to see myself as God sees me, through the eyes of love, of grace, of compassion as big as the universe. Through His tender, aching eyes I can see more clearly who I am. I am His beloved.
Embracing my brokenness allows me to have greater communion with others.
Comparison is the thief of intimacy. External validation is but heroin to a broken, striving soul. And thus we can never truly be with others as long as we are so terribly needy of them for our fulfillment.
We all come to the table of community broken. We are all like Peter himself, stumbling along our journeys with Jesus, bringing our mess-ups and our failings, our weakest sensibilities to our brothers and sisters in Christ. To be encouraged, strengthened, comforted, and built up together. Yes, together.
Settling into a newfound rhythm of release—from needing what others cannot give, and embracing an identity that no one can steal away—we are at once home with our brothers and sisters. Accepting their humanity allows us to embrace our own.
As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you. _C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Embracing my brokenness creates greater intimacy with God.
Nothing stands between us. No longer needing pretense to validate my existence, I can allow myself to come right up to His outstretched arms and dive in. I am utterly and divinely safe. I have no need to hide. No need to fear. He is here. He is with me. Embracing my brokenness tears down the wall and creates full, unfettered intimacy and vulnerability with the Creator of my soul.
Isaiah 53:5 (NIV) tells us, But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
How can it be? When we're naked and ashamed and alone in our brokenness, Christ envelops us with His intimate grace. When we're rejected and abandoned and feel beyond wanting, Jesus cups our face: "Come close, my Beloved." When we're dirty and tear-stained and despairing, Jesus Christ is attracted to us and proposes undying love: "All that you're carrying I take... and all that I am is yours." How do you ever get over that? _Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way
Embracing my brokenness allows my authentic self to grow.
I am learning to see all the parts and pieces of me as one singular, beautiful mosaic. As I learn to hold the myriad of shapes and shards in my hands, I can finally see them through the eyes of compassion, as He sees them. This is the sacred place where God moves me from being healed to being whole.
God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever. _Vance Havner
Brokenness keeps me planted in the good soil of redemption.
Brokenness keeps me drenched in the love I cannot live without.
Brokenness is the one thing that keeps me reaching for, clinging to the Truth that molds me, and transforms me into who I am not yet, but who I am becoming.
Brokenness does not make me weak. It is perhaps the strongest part of who I am.
Because in my most broken, wounded, fragile places, I know He is strong.
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
I see the images. Kids walking single file. Hands grasping the shoulders in front of them.
I want to run to them, protect them, comfort them in their fear. Tell them they are safe, they are loved in the middle of this horrific and seemingly God-forsaken world.
The hands raised on their way to safety are just a symbol of the hands that were raised as a sacrifice for our safety. Our salvation. And yeah, the same evil that tried to destroy these treasures of ours in a school building, tried to destroy the treasure of heaven —that carpenter who came and loved, and served, and gave—everything of Himself.
Sometimes it feels like evil wins, like hope has given up her last breath.
Will we allow fear to conquer us? Do we furrow our treasures and hope that evil passes us by as it swoons in the dead of night?
What do we do as Christ-followers in response to evil in this world? We do what Jesus taught us to do:
When we feel like hating, we choose to love.
We humbly remember that though we deserved to be hated for the scabs that cover our own sin-disease, we were loved right there in our brokenness.
He never hated us into eternity. God's fierce, roaring love invaded our hate-filled souls and extracted us from our darkest calamity. He snatched us out of hell by lovingly trading it for a temporary hell of His own.
Because He loved us so well, so we choose to love others.
John 15:12 (ESV) - This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
When we feel like closing ourselves in, we reach out.
We reach out because if we don’t, darkness wins. We reach out because we as Christians are the light of the world.
When tragedy strikes and fear sets in, our first instinct is to huddle down within the safe confines of our tremored distrust. We forget we have this hope buried down deep that should rise up big inside. That should make us both brave and bold to live, to love, to give others the light that once transformed our dim, shadowed souls.
We have the Light that can rescue the world from darkness.
Matthew 5:14-16 (ESV) —You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
When we feel like clasping judgment in the palms of our hands, we forgive.
Judgment will never give us the satisfaction we desire. It will only simmer into bitterness until it boils as a fomenting rage within our hearts.
As we stand in the circle surrounding the accused one, we silently ask ourselves if we will be the first to cast a stone of judgment —this hard, violent, death without hope of repentance. Or will we remember that it was God in His great love for us who saw us in our damnable condition, and forgave the unforgivable?
We forgive because we have been forgiven.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) —Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.
When we feel like abandoning hope, we never let go.
Because just when we think that it has given up the ghost, hope breathes again…anyway. Yeah, the dark couldn’t keep away the light, and the grave could not win this ferocious, heavenly battle. And hope is a gift that only One could give and none can take away.
Hebrews 10:23 (NIV) — Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
So I remind myself that the same evil that tried to destroy these treasures of ours in a school building, tried to destroy the treasure of heaven —that carpenter who came and loved, and served, and gave—everything of Himself.
Love won. And on the darkest day when evil threatens to steal the day, love will always win.
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
We crossed at low tide. With only one road that washes out with the waves, there was a small window of time to make our way across, to leave behind the mainland and enter this remote, speck of an island…Holy Island.
It was holy. There was something powerful and sacred about this place —like reaching back and touching history over 1500 years ago. And what a history this place has.
Situated right off the eastern coast of Great Britain, Holy Island sits right on the border between England and Scotland. It’s called Holy Island because in 635 AD Saint Aidan came here from the isle of Iona in Scotland and established Lindisfarne Priory. Known as the Cradle of Christianity, this place was the evangelical center of its time, bringing Christianity to all of England.
It’s hard to believe when you are standing here. Hard to imagine how something so small could have such a profound impact, not just on Great Britain, but on our own country’s religious history as well. The men of that day could not have imagined the lengths their legacy of faith would reach.
Sometimes I get trapped in thinking that my life, my ministry, my calling is of no value because of its size. In this day and age perhaps, it is easy to become discouraged, believing we can’t make a difference in this chaotic time we’re living, that we cannot impact the world for Christ in any meaningful way without a national ministry, a prestigious position, or a sizeable social media following.
That’s what the powers that be tell us, at least. Yet if a tiny island in the middle of nowhere can be used by God to change the course of history, then perhaps God can use each of us right where we are, with what gifts we have, to leave a powerful legacy.
God uses the smallest things to accomplish the greatest purposes.
God used just three small stones to defeat a giant (I Sam 17, NIV). He used five loaves and two fish to feed a multitude (John 6:1-14, NIV). He used a simple carpenter to save the world. He can use you, too. He wants to. He longs to. He loves you and created you for a purpose.
Where has God called you to serve today? Who has God called you to love today?
Maybe your legacy today is in loving and serving in your home, raising up little ones to be warriors for Christ. Maybe your legacy is in loving and serving those in your neighborhood, your community, your local church. Maybe it's standing up to hate, to violence, to bigotry whenever it arises, in whatever size, shape, or form it takes.
Whatever it is, wherever He calls, your legacy is right in front of you. It may not be grand or lucrative. It may not guarantee you an enormous following. It may not ever be noticed by anyone around you. But it will be noticed by God. It will make a difference.
Imagine what kind of impact your life may leave for generations to come. Imagine what could change if we didn’t get paralyzed and discouraged by the lies of the enemy telling us we are not enough, that God could never use us, that nothing we do could ever make a difference. Imagine each of us loving what is right in front of us, each serving whomever crosses our path. Imagine.
…walls torn down.
…hearts transformed.
…communities working together.
…a nation healed.
I Corinthians 1:27 (NIV) tells us that, God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
It will start with us. You and me. One act of love at a time.
God uses the smallest things to accomplish the greatest purposes.
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
It was an earlier night than usual. Thankful to be leaving the office ahead of schedule, I began to pull down the driveway and head for home. I still had a few minutes before the sun set. It was a warm, yet lovely evening.
I hadn't driven more than a few feet when I realized something was wrong. Instinctively I stopped, got out, and began to walk around my SUV. When I rounded the back corner I noticed it - a flat tire.
It wasn't just a little low on air, it was completely flat.
Weird, I thought. I just drove back from lunch a few hours ago and everything was fine. Now what?
I reached for my phone and dialed. As soon as my husband answered and learned of my distress, he was on his way. When he arrived, he immediately shined his lights on my car so he could see to change the flat tire.
He began to assemble his tools and went to work as the light around us quickly dimmed. He not only changed the tire, he gently walked me step by step through the process, teaching me how to change one, if I were ever in a situation where I needed to.
As the sun finally slid beneath the horizon and the beautiful countryside went dark, we finished up, put on the spare tire, and headed home. He followed me the entire drive home through the winding country roads with their steep embankments. The light from his car was never far behind. What care and protection I felt in that moment.
The next day as I thought through the events of the night before, I suddenly realized, Isn't that the way God is with me? Isn't He always ready to rescue me in my mess, in my need, in my despair?
The moment I call, He doesn't put me on hold, He doesn't ignore my plea. He is always present, always available, always ready to meet me wherever I am, whatever my need.
2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJV) reminds me that, The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.
He is ever-present for any of His children. He loves us. He waits for opportunities to care for us in the needful moments of our lives, to show Himself strong on our behalf. There is something so comforting and reassuring about resting in someone's strength. About exhaling our weakness and surrendering the weight of our world to someone utterly powerful, and willful, someone muscular, safe, and strong. He is strong.
I love that whenever He comes, He not only comes with strength, He also shines His light brightly wherever He goes, whether He shines it on my circumstances, whether He shines it on my path, or into my heart. His light is ever-present to reveal my pain, to heal my dulled, deep wounds, and to remove my darkest shame.
John 1:5 (NIV) reminds me that, The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
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Isaiah 58:8 (NIV) adds, Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
His light shines into each moment as He guides me, teaches me, grows me up to be more and more like Him. He never leaves me stranded. He never leaves me helpless and unsure. He graciously and lovingly instructs me so that I can be prepared for whatever purpose He is calling me.
I love the end of Isaiah 58:8, when He says, the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Just like my husband following behind me down those dark and winding roads, God, too will always be shining His light, His glory, His protection from behind.
If you feel today that God has lost sight of you, that He's left you stranded and alone, He is waiting. He is present with you. He sees you in your distress. He stands there waiting for you. You can pick up the phone and call. He ran to my rescue, He will run to your rescue, too. He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core.
[clickToTweet tweet="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core." quote="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core."]
Have you called out to Him? Perhaps today is the day you ask Him to come save you from your sin, your pain, your hopelessness. Perhaps there is a struggle so dark and heavy, you feel like it just might swallow you whole.
Here's one thing I know - even when you're stranded on the side of the road and it feels like there's no hope in sight, your healing is just a simple call away.
How has God rescued you in your distress? How has He shined His light and followed you out of a dark place? I'd love to hear!
Blessings,
Lisa
About Lisa
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
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Relationships can be overwhelming. We all want relationships, but how do you know if your relationship is a good one? What does a healthy relationship even look like?
We hear expressions from Hollywood like, “You complete me,” we sing along with the radio, “I can’t live if living is without you,” we believe that “love means, I should be willing to do anything for you.” Is it any wonder we are slightly confused as to how to create a healthy relationship?
Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares what boats can teach us about healthy relationships. Yes – boats. Boats are interesting things. They have an individual identity. They have to maintain their seaworthiness and safety in a sizeable and often turbulent ocean. Boats can teach us a lot about how we as individuals engage in relationships. Boats can also offer us a better understanding of what healthy relationships should and should not look like.
I describe a picture of myself in a relationship as if I were in a boat that is floating in the ocean. I as an individual am in the center of my boat. I may be in a relationship with others, and if they are healthy relationships, they are in the center of their boats, too. Everyone is safe, anchored in Christ, connected with one another.
However, there are many relationships I encounter where someone I love is not in their boat. They are treading water in the ocean surrounding the boat. They do not realize they are drowning, but from my position in my boat, I can see they are drowning. The waves are crashing all around them. The wind is blowing, and the powerful current threatens to pull them under the water.
Because I love my family and friends, I desperately want these people in the boat with me. I know the boat is good and strong. The boat provides the necessary safety and security for my journey. So I make my way to the edge of the boat in order to throw out a life preserver. I try to lean over the edge to reach out to them, but they are just beyond my reach. My efforts are noble and helpful, but at the point I risk falling out of the boat myself while trying to rescue them, I am then useful to no one and in jeopardy of drowning myself.
In order to be the most helpful to the ones I love, in order to have the greatest chance of successfully rescuing or influencing them, I must remain safely centered and stable in my boat. I must make sure I am healthy before I can ever attempt to establish a healthy connection with someone else.
How could I love my family and friends well if I am not able to love and care for myself well? The answer is, I couldn’t. I must make sure that I am safely grounded in my boat, that I know my identity and have created a safe place for my authentic self to flourish, that I am actively pursuing my passions and purpose as I live out my beliefs and values with clarity and courage.
For many of you, that concept sounds terrifying, completely foreign to anything you’ve ever experienced. You are not alone. You don’t have to continue living in relationships that demand too much, give too little and leave you feeling hopeless that life could be different.
Life can be different! I share simple, practical life steps in my book, Peace For a Lifetime, that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace in your life and relationships; peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!
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For some, holidays are a feast. For others, holidays are a famine.
I grew up in Mayberry. I was raised in a time and place where most people believed in God, were proud of their country, knew right from wrong, valued hard work, and forged strong bonds between neighbors. The older I got, the more I became aware of differences. Differences in background. Differences in lifestyle, in experiences, beliefs, worldview and just about everything else in between.
I didn’t get married until I was 32 years old. No, I wasn’t a feminist who had sworn off marriage until I had climbed the corporate ladder. Nor was I a free spirit who was resistant to settling down into the comfortable rituals and responsibilities of holy matrimony.