For the Weary and Wounded, There is Always Room in the House Called Mercy

His eyes were piercing.As we sat down, he began to tell me his story —of growing up in a small town in east Texas, of doing meth, dealing meth, of living life in the darkness of racism that hung as a heavy shadow over his Aryan community.

He didn’t want change at first, didn’t know what change was, what hope was, what mercy felt like in this savage world of survival.With a dad nowhere to be found, there was a hole so big in his heart that was longing to be filled.All he wanted was to be accepted, wanted, loved.Don’t we all?

That’s when Mercy called.When he was at his lowest, fighting a bacteria from some bad drugs that had left his arm wide open and perhaps his heart wide open, too —that’s when someone reached out and asked Donovan if he was ready, if he had had enough?Backed into a corner with few options, he said ‘yes,’ he left behind his son and his mom, and showed up at the front steps of this new season, new life.

Salvador’s journey led him to a courtroom with 17 years in prison staring him in the face.No one was on his side, it seemed.No one except Mercy. Sitting in the courtroom, hearing the judge read off the harshest sentences one by one to those before him, hope began to fade.

Even his probation officer spoke against him.Yet God stepped in and the house called Mercy became his home.He left behind his family and his kids, too.He walked away from the streets, the dealing, everything he thought he needed to live, to discover the One he couldn’t live without.

He had heard about this person called Jesus in jail, began thinking about Him, reading about Him, until the day came when he embraced Him with his whole heart.

Jamie was the oldest of these Mercy House guys.At 36 years old, he had a wife, kids, faith —and an addiction that destroyed everything he thought he had built.Having already been in two prior Christian men’s programs, this was his last hope.

And Mercy, just as steady as a rock, reached out and claimed him as its own.Pouring into him new life, new skills, an entirely new way of dealing with his thoughts and emotions, Jamie began to embrace his faith and his brokenness differently than he had ever done before.

Mark came from a different world, a different state, a different life.His was not a story of poverty, of abandonment, yet the addiction that held him captive for years was no less powerful.

Little by little God began to speak to him about this place called Mercy.He resisted, he ran as far as he could, he pushed back against the notion of help.And then the day came when he relented.Gave in.Gave up everything to make his way to this new place, this new home, with new hope for a new future.

Though each of our stories may be different than Donovan’s, Salvador’s, Jamie’s, or Mark’s, though we may never have been held captive by addiction like these men, we were each in our own broken story, writing the lines of our own addictions, our own wounds, our own depravity.

We will all have to choose to either live in our brokenness or grab hold of God’s mercy and let it transform us totally, completely. 

This is the first work of God—that He is merciful to all who are ready to do without their own opinion, right, wisdom, and all spiritual goods, and willing to be poor in spirit.– Martin Luther

Brokenness will always lead us to despair, but Hope will always be calling, and Mercy will always know us by name.

There are three lessons I learned from my visit with the Mercy House men that remain true for each of us on our spiritual journeys.

It is never too late to be rescued by Mercy.

We say, No, not me.I’m good.

You’re not.We’re not.We are all broken.We all need a life-altering encounter with the person of Jesus.We need to be rescued from ourselves —our sin, our diseases.

As the foundation for God’s Covenant, mercy then comes to be seen as, the quality in God that directs him to forge a relationship with people who absolutely do not deserve to be in relationship with him. Mercy is manifested in God's activity on behalf of his people to free them from slavery.

Several Hebrew words are associated with God’s mercy.Kapporeth– means ransom, propitiation, or mercy seat. Racham – means to love, to have compassion, or to show mercy.Chesed – means goodness, kindness, mercifulness, or loving-kindness.

Mercy is the gift from a compassionate, loving, good God that pays the ransom and removes the consequences that we deserve, giving us a new beginning, a new chance, a brand new life.

1 Peter 2:10 (NIV) tells us, Once you were not a people; but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

James 5:11 (NIV) shares,As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Titus 3:5 (NIV) declares, He saved us not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.

No matter where you are, what your addiction is —to alcohol, to drugs, to food, to perfection, to people, to things— it is never too late to be rescued by God's mercy.

Call out.Reach out.God will meet you right where you are and will rescue you from everything that hangs as a noose around your neck and threatens to crack beneath you and destroy your life.  He will save you.He is the Savior of the world.Of me, of you.Trust Him.

When Mercy calls, it will change your life and change your name.

Where we each were once called by our sin, our shame.

We were called:

- failure

-loser

-worthless

-unloved

-hopeless

-rejected

-orphan

But God's mercy changes us from the inside out, gives us a new chance, a new future, a new name.

Mercy sees us and calls us:

-redeemed

-restored

-worthy

-loved

-hopeful

-chosen

-child

By what name do you call yourself?  In what kind of environment do you reside? Do you reside with shame and allow it to define your heart and your future?Or do you live in a house called Mercy, filled with compassion and kindness?Do you let Mercy Himself define your identity and direct your steps?

Your name is your identity.Declare your identity as the Beloved.Cling to it.Allow it to seep into every cell of your being and keep you close to the Father.You are His child.Your position in His family is secure.Nothing and no one can change that one fact.

Isaiah 62:2 (NIV) tells us, The nations will see vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.

What is your new name?What do you need to call yourself?Begin calling yourself that today.Begin claiming it as your own.It will shape your future and awaken God’s destiny for your life.

There comes a time when we have to step out and live Mercy.

We all have times and seasons where God draws us to Himself for a time of healing, believing, growing, and dreaming.We love this house called Mercy.We love its safety and its peace.It reminds us how God never gave up on us.How He filled us with His grace and mercy.

And it is His mercy that we must now live.There always comes a time when we must leave this place and learn how to carry His mercy with us deep in our souls as we enter a new season with God.

Tucking the Gospel of Jesus in our hearts, we begin to extend that same love and mercy to those around us.We must move into our lives, our homes, our relationships, our workplace, and bring His mercy with us.Speak mercy.Pray mercy.Live mercy.

We are not as we once were.We are no longer blind, our faith no longer tender shoots that bend and sway with the wind.

We are maturing, growing stronger, steadier by the day.

We will stagnate if we stay.We must step out and live Mercy.

God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us.If we hold fast to mercy, if we stay close to His side, abiding in His love, He will bring His will to pass in our lives. We will be pouring mercy into other people’s lives. We will find our purpose.We will be living our destiny.

I Thess 5:24 (NIV)tells us, The One who called you is faithful and He will do it.

Do you trust Him enough to follow Him?Do you believe He has brought you this far?

Why then, would He bring you this far just to abandon you, or forsake you?  The answer is —He wouldn’t.

My encounter with a house called Mercy was stunning, compassion-stirring, captivating.I did not walk away unchanged.

What will you do with Mercy?Will you let it overwhelm you, stir you, captivate you?Above all, please don’t walk away from God's mercy unchanged.Let His mercy rescue you, let mercy give you a new name, let it transform you so that you can give it away in every situation and every circumstance.

One step at a time.One person at a time.

I want to ask each one of my readers, Will you take one of the names of the men listed in this post and will you write it down and commit to pray for them?Will you participate in the work that God is doing in their lives?

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Mercy House

Mercy House is a biblically based, one-year residential program that daily invests in men to empower them to live out their best lives – free from addiction, rooted in their worth and purpose, and making a positive impact in the community around them.

Men who are trapped in addiction and life-controlling behaviors are being holistically transformed and launched into a lifetime of freedom, purpose, and life-giving community.

Men of Mercy House Video

https://vimeo.com/208404279

Mercy House Facebook Link

If you or a loved one who struggles with addiction, please reach out!

---

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About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Merry Christmas!!!

Authenticity and The Courage To Let Your Real Self Shine Through

LisaMurrayOnline.com-105.png

The truth is, sometimes I’m not fine. There are moments my day hasn’t gone great, and yes, some days the weather really does stink.

That’s what I want to say at least, but I rarely do. How about you?

There are a lot of things about me I don’t say, many truths I keep tucked inside, hidden in the bottom drawer of my heart, for fear others wouldn’t want to hear about what’s really going on with me. Somehow I believe if I let them see the real me, they might think I’m crazy, too much to handle. Or they might just reject me altogether.

So I’ve learned to edit myself. If we’re honest, I think most of us edit ourselves. We’ve learned to do a fair job stitching together the prettiest sides of ourselves to show people while keeping the worn and ragged edges hidden out of sight. We pray no one will notice and try to convince ourselves that our patchwork looks as good as new. As long as no one gets too close.

Up close is where the reality of our threadbare and disheveled selves might poke through. Where the tears, the insecurities, the pockets full of unworthiness spill their ugly selves onto our identity. It isn’t pretty.

The problem is, all the years I hid my truest self, all the years I kept everyone at arm’s length, I also kept the beauty of intimacy and vulnerability from ever reaching my impenetrable, fear-filled heart.

Relationship is the casualty of a guarded heart, the victim of pretense and shame.

Authenticity at its core is transparency and admission of failure. It's the rejection of insincerity and hypocrisy. It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears and sorrows reside.

[clickToTweet tweet="It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears reside." quote="It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears and sorrows reside."]

Brene Brown describes authenticity as, the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Authenticity is a gift not just to ourselves, but to all of our relationships. Here are three ways you can start to cultivate authenticity and let your real self shine through.

Claim Your Belovedness

The more we as Christians own our worth based on God’s incredible love for us, the more we can begin to see ourselves as worthy, not based on performance, certainly not based on perfection, but based on position. Upon Whose we are. God’s beloved children.

Henri J.M. Nouwen describes, Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.

When our worth is based solely on other’s acceptance or approval, it is a roller-coaster waiting for the next dive. It is inconsistent at best, bumpy throughout, and at some point always crashes to a halt.

However, knowing ourselves and our worth as God’s beloved, in whom He delights, is the strongest foundation for each of us to become curious, eager —to explore, to create, to dream, and possibly even to dare.

Resist The Urge To Strive

Striving is a lethal drug for a perfectionist. We remain almost helpless to resist its power, its compulsion to prove, to perform, to achieve. Yet striving will almost certainly destroy us from the inside out. It fills us with fear and empties us of any courage or creativity.

Striving has been one of the fiercest competitors throughout my life, and I would dare say, it has gotten the best of me many times in the past. What makes resisting the urge to strive so difficult is how intensely our culture celebrates it. We revere the pursuit of acquisition, we extol the virtue of accomplishment, and fantasize that rest is waiting for us just across the finish line. Until we cross the finish line, and realize that even here, there is no rest. Just another finish line, another demand, another task to prove our worth.

Martin Luther expressed, I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.

Once our worth is settled, we can rest in believing whether we succeed or fail, whether we are celebrated or not, whether our ranking on amazon.com is at the top or on the bottom, we are enough. Period. Our performance is not attached to our worth.

Be More Emotionally Honest

No, that doesn’t mean to emotionally vomit on anyone and everyone with whom you come into contact. Emotional honesty simply means we become more intentional about accepting ourselves —our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, opinions, and perspectives —and we are not afraid to share appropriately and respectfully with those around us.

Psalm 32:1-2 (NLT) states, Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

Do you share freely your opinions with others, even if they differ? Do you find yourself withholding your thoughts and feelings from the people around you? Is your highest priority not to do or say anything that might make people unhappy with you?

We can find healthy, compassionate ways to let our true selves shine through without being disrespectful or unkind. The more we feel worthy, the easier it is to risk potential ridicule or rejection from others because we don’t need their approval to feel good about ourselves.

Mother Teresa shares, Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.

If you find yourself longing to let go of the façade or craving a place that is real, you can begin today to cultivate authenticity in your life.

Claim Your Belovedness. Your worth is settled.

Resist The Urge To Strive. You are enough.

Be More Emotionally Honest. Let the real you shine through.

Authenticity embraces our healing journey in its totality —the journey toward accepting who we are, toward becoming more courageous, toward embracing who we are not yet, but who we will one day be. The journey is beautiful, it is hopeful.  It is the way of peace.

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

The demise of fairness and the ability to tell the good guys from the bad ones

I often think back to the 90’s with a feeling of nostalgia for a decade that seemed as hopeful as it was prosperous. As an idealist right out of college, I listened to Paula Cole’s famous song and believed that most of us were cowboys —that we understood the ideals of right and wrong, and measured out justice, like John Wayne, with impartiality and integrity. That’s what I believed back then, anyways.

I was quite the dreamer in those days. Like all the good western movies, life seemed a little more clear-cut, more uncomplicated somehow. As I looked around I felt in my heart we were all on the same team, rooting for the same cause, our great American dream. We could easily tell the good guys from the bad guys and we were thrilled to see the good guys come riding in on their gallant white horses to save the day. To bring the bad guys to justice. It all seemed so simple.

Who are the good guys?

As I have witnessed the combined narratives of mainstream media, Facebook threads, and general water-cooler conversation these days, I find myself asking, Where have all the cowboys gone? How did we arrive at this place where our country is less important than our party, and where justice is seen only through the lens of an elephant or donkey?

I speak not against a particular party, but against an insidious trend in culture that is pitting us all against each other. Dividing us. Destroying what made this little experiment of a country so special in the first place.

We act less like Americans and more like spectators at a boxing match, waiting with baited breath for any sign of weakness, any notion that our guy is getting ready to land the final knockout blow. Where our guy is hailed the champion and the other is resigned to a dark corner of the locker room.

It appears our moral indignation and righteous anger ends at the door of our party affiliation. We become suddenly, strangely quiet when our guy takes a hit, or stumbles and falls. We jeer with a foaming anticipation at the missteps of someone, anyone, as long as they are on the other team.

We are no longer fair-minded. No longer wise. No longer models of Christ’s character. We as Believers should never be known more for our political positions than we are known for our faith, our character, our integrity.

We should be the cowboys—the model for those above the fray, who are fair-minded, with a solid standard for character and integrity. We should be able to tell the good guys from the bad guys and be willing to hold all of the bad ones to account.

Here are few questions to consider:

• Are our standards held equally for those in power?

Romans 3:23 (NIV) states, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 3:10-12 (NIV) adds, There is no one righteous, not even one.

• Are we open to consider the failings of everyone impartially, even those on our side, so to speak?

James 2:1 (ESV) tells us, My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.

James 3:17 (ESV) goes on to state, But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

• Can we be slow to speak, quick to listen, and fair in judging the words and actions of others, regardless of their party affiliation?

Micah 6:8 (ESV) says, He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Romans 2:11 (ESV) declares that, God shows no partiality.

Exodus 23:1-33 (ESV) further asserts, You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. You shall not fall in with the many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with the many, so as to pervert justice, nor shall you be partial to a poor man in his lawsuit. “If you meet your enemy's ox or his donkey going astray, you shall bring it back to him. If you see the donkey of one who hates you lying down under its burden, you shall refrain from leaving him with it; you shall rescue it with him. ...

• Do we care more about our side winning than righteousness prevailing?

Proverbs 21:3 (ESV) tells us, To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

• Do we care more about proclaiming our perspective than we do proclaiming the name of Jesus?

Mark 12:28-31 (ESV) shares, And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Hebrews 6:10 (ESV) reminds us that, God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.

Challenging Our Better Selves

The truth is, one side is not all bad, nor is the other side all good.  

Matthew 7:3-5 admonishes us, Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We should stand up for what is right, no matter who is in office. We should be sad when anyone falls or stumbles. Whether they have a “D” or an “R” next to their name, we should want wrongdoers to be held accountable for their words and actions. The hypocrisy of selective moral outrage has to stop—if we want our country, our communities, or our relationships to survive and thrive.

Could we all take a breath and remember not only who we are, but Whose we are? The world around us is watching. Are we just as angry, outraged, cynical, and vitriolic, as everyone else out there? Can we speak our perspective from a place of respect, fairness, openness, and consideration of all? Do we know what our values, beliefs, and moral expectations are or do we define them based on what someone else is doing/not doing?

We really need to think, my friends. We need to examine our idea of fairness, our idea of justice. We need to consider how we tell the good guys from the bad guys. Consider who we are, and who we want to be. I don’t know about you, but I want to be a cowboy.

---

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

How to Walk Away From Your Pain, and Embrace a Life of Peace

It was the tipping point. The beginning of the fall. No, it wasn’t a crash, a sudden impact dive that you didn’t see coming. I saw this coming. I could feel it making its way toward me and yet, I was entirely helpless to stop it.

It was a slow, distinct unraveling. That moment where you can feel the wheels teetering ever so slightly out of balance until the whole thing comes unhinged. My heart, that is.

This was the season of my undoing.

I was quite certain I had never planned for this. My life was a well-structured agenda of fortitude, perseverance, accomplishments. They needed me in some misconstrued way, yet I needed them more.

From my earliest memories, I can recall that feeling, deep in my bones, that insane and horrific gnawing that I was not enough. That I would have to prove myself. I needed to be special. I needed to feel worthy. Loved.

I heard people say, If you try hard enough, you can accomplish anything.

I believed them.

So I set my face like flint against the wind, I measured my sails, and I set out to prove my worth to the world.

Whatever it takes, that was my motto.

Whether that meant hours of studying or practicing to be good enough. Whether it meant endless miles running wrapped in plastic wrap to be skinny enough, I did it. That was me.

In seventh grade, I was voted Most Likely To Succeed in my class. It felt good. The awards felt good. Just not quite good enough.

I kept going. I thought there was some point where I would arrive. Where I would attain. Where I would be enough.

Yet, inside I knew there was something adrift. If I was quiet enough, I could hear the tremors begin to quake. I felt the muffled pangs just beneath the surface.

I wanted to be healed. I longed to know what wholeness felt like. I craved peace more than anything I could imagine.

That must be for someone else, I thought, but it must not be for me.

I often felt like the woman in Scripture reaching out, desperate to touch the threads that lined the hem of Jesus’ robe. Surely if I could touch Him, she must have thought, then I would be healed. (Mark 5:21-34)

I understood the longing of the blind man, who day after day, hoped and prayed that he would one day see. How could he have known his Savior, his Healer would come with a little clay and a little spit near the pool of Siloam and give him everything he’d ever hoped for. How? (John 9:1-12)

I could see myself like Peter, shivering in the waves and wind as he stepped out of the boat onto the Sea of Galilee. If only I had enough fortitude to keep my eyes on Jesus, I could have walked on water without sinking beneath the waves of doubt and fear that pulled me under. (Matthew 14:22-33)

And then my healing came. Not in the way you’d expect. Jesus ushered me into a sacred place. A sacred season. Jesus led me to this season of healing and He never let go.

I heard Him whisper to me, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

I needed rest.

Each week, in my season of healing, Jesus faithfully sat with me as I unpacked the weight of burdens that had become too heavy for me to carry. I could feel His hand resting on the back of my aching hand as I connected stories of my past, my wounding. He held me in His arms as I wept for the broken things that had drained any measure of hope in my soul. I felt Him. I found rest in Him.

As I learned new ways of being, new ways of believing, like a proud parent, He lovingly coaxed and cheered me on as I took my first measured, stumbling steps.

Jesus sat with pride as He watched me rebuild the foundation of my life. He nurtured the roots of our relationship well. I felt my worth for the first time. I saw His delight in me.

I was building and living a life of peace. It was all I had ever hoped for. Longed for. To breathe. To feel solid and sure. To experience wholeness. To experience abundance. Physical abundance, spiritual abundance, emotional abundance.

In John 10:10b (NKJV) Jesus shares, I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Psalm 29:11 (NIV) adds, The Lord gives strength to His people.  The Lord blesses his people with peace.

The Hebrew word for peace, shalom, refers to wholeness, completeness, safety, soundness and fullness. I believe that God’s desire for each of us as individuals is to experience that kind of abundance in our lives, both spiritually and emotionally.

The Peace Pilgrimage

As I’ve counseled thousands of individuals and couples during my career as a Professional Therapist —or desert guide, as I like to describe my profession —the one thing that my clients universally long for is not money, not success, not even happiness. The one thing they desire more than anything else is peace.

Peace isn’t some elusive feeling. Peace is not a holy grail of emotionalism. Peace is simply the by-product of a life built on a foundation of Emotional Abundance.

Emotional Abundance is built from the ground up. Emotional Abundance is something that can be cultivated and embraced, that will alter everything about how we experience God, ourselves, and those with whom we are in relationship.

Thomas Merton poignantly portrayed, “We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.”

I’ve discovered three ways we can walk away from our pain, and embrace a life of peace.

1. By Examining Our Lives from the Bottom Up

We will only experience true peace as we first experience peace with God. Peace with God is the foundation of a solid, stable life, filled with richness and beauty and meaning. We were created as spiritual beings, in His image.   We were created to have a connection, a deep and vital relationship with the God of the Universe. We were not meant to be ships anchored unto ourselves, tossed by the whims and waves of life. We were designed to be ships anchored into something powerful, something larger than ourselves that steadies and strengthens us for the journey.

1. By Discovering The Man (or Woman) In the Mirror

Peace with God is what allows us to come face to face with ourselves and cultivate peace within the interior spaces of our beings. We cannot begin to own our emotional identity if we do not own our spiritual identity as the beloved of our Father. We cannot learn to be kind or compassionate with ourselves if we have not grasped hold of God’s great hand of compassion that is always reaching toward us. To find, discover, lay hold of His safe refuge that allows us to be authentic and strong, passionate and purposeful is perhaps our most transcendent blessing.

1. By Cultivating Healthy, Thriving Relationships

As Merton describes, we are only capable of attaining peace in our relationships if we have laid the foundation of peace with God and peace with ourselves. How could we believe that we could experience abundant relationships if we had never experienced an abundant self? Yet, as we discover peace with ourselves, we are able to enjoy and celebrate true abundance, true peace in our relationships. We are able to be more emotionally honest, more centered and stable. We are able to breathe life and freedom into our relationships.

Life doesn’t change. We change.

[clickToTweet tweet="Life doesn’t change. We change. #peaceforalifetime" quote="Life doesn’t change. We change."]

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime– Embracing a Life of Hope, Wholeness, and Harmony through Emotional Abundance, I walk with readers through whatever season of life they are in, and lay out simple, practical life-steps that will help them find healing and will nurture Emotional Abundance in every area of their lives.

Is peace something that has always eluded you?

Is peace something you have always wanted in your relationships, but have never managed to experience, at least not for any length of time?

Do you, too, feel so alone in your brokenness that hope simply seems beyond your reach?

You don’t have to keep trying so hard to prove your worth. You don’t have to keep pushing, hoping that everything will turn out okay. Healing isn’t just for someone else. Healing is for you.

[clickToTweet tweet="Healing isn’t just for someone else. Healing is for you. #peaceforalifetime" quote="Healing isn’t just for someone else. Healing is for you."]

Jesus is whispering to you, Come to me…

Will you come to Him today? Will you accept the peace He has for you? Will you let Him walk you from your season of pain right into His peace?

You can experience the love for which you long.

You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine.

You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow.

You can experience peace —for a lifetime.

Blessings,

Lisa

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Because Anniversaries Need To Be Celebrated...(Plus a Giveaway)

Who doesn't LOVE anniversaries?  I can’t believe it has been a YEAR since my book, “Peace For A Lifetime” launched! What a sweet year it has been to see how God turned my healing journey into a passion to equip others to find the healing and abundance God has designed for each of us.

From where I sat twenty years ago, I could not have imagined that life could feel anything other than scattered, overwhelmed, broken, and hopeless. Yes, hopeless. I felt the life I longed for was way beyond my reach. I thought a life of peace, of strength, of abundance was for everyone else, NOT for me.

But then God changed EVERYTHING! He gave me the missing “PEACE” in my life. I discovered that He not only longed for me to experience spiritual healing, or even physical healing. In truth, He longed for me to experience emotional healing, too.

God showed me how to find balance in my emotions, how to sort through them effectively. He revealed to me my belovedness, taught me how I could love myself, and began to build in me a strong, solid sense of my identity in Christ. Amazingly, He showed me how I could build relationships that were safe, healthy, and abundant.

“Peace For A Lifetime” is the story of my broken path into healing and abundance. I could not have imagined how it has helped thousands of individuals, couples, and families find peace for their lives, too.

[clickToTweet tweet="#PeaceForALifetime is the story of my broken path into healing and abundance. " quote="“Peace For A Lifetime” is the story of my broken path into healing and abundance. "]

Order Your Copy Here!

One Amazon reviewer described “Peace For A Lifetime’s” impact this way:

I now know what happened to me and I need healing and not 1000s of pills that never work, many doctors, shock treatments, millions of dollars my insurance has paid out for over 30 years to relive me of the pain. I can't calm myself or control my emotions, and what is more amazing solutions that really work, which I have never found in my life, until I read this book. You know me 100%. Father, I thank you for leading me to this wonderful book. I will always treasure the writer for finally setting me free from the darkness I have lived in since I was a child.

Another detailed:

What is my dream? Emotional Abundance! I can't explain impact, depth and soul searching that I encountered when reading Peace for a Lifetime. No matter what "group" that we had experienced AA-NA-CR-or one-on-one therapy Lisa makes you think... really think. My first read I rushed through and wanted more so back I went for my second read and WOW the light was shining brightly over my soul, spirit and brain and I dissected each chapter like a scientist would a project... but this was my project and chance to fulfill the questions and why's of my emotions. The section of building an emotional vocabulary is pure genius and I have already put this vocabulary to use along with the meanings of my emotions that I was otherwise blowing up or glossing over...Life Changing!!! Seriously... Life Changing! Thank You Lisa Murray! If you are looking for a roadmap to emotional peace, I pray if you haven’t read “Peace For A Lifetime” yet, you will get a copy TODAY!

Order Your Copy Here!

“Peace For A Lifetime” hit #5 on Amazon’s Best-Selling Christian Counseling List!

“Peace For A Lifetime” has a 5-star rating on Amazon!

The book has even been selected as a Featured Resource by the American Association of Christian Counselors!.

So what are you waiting for? If you or someone you know needs emotional healing from depression, anxiety, brokenness, addiction, relationship struggles, or spiritual questions, give them this book!

Since this week is the one-year anniversary of “Peace For A Lifetime’s” launch, I would also LOVE for you to share this on your social media channels.  Please consider the book for a group Bible study, as a resource in your church's library/bookstore, or as the topic for your women's retreats this year.  Our church's need resources to meet the emotional needs of its members.

This might be just the thing someone needs to read today!

Leave a comment, tag someone, or share the post this week, using the hashtag #PeaceForALifetime and you will be entered to win a FREE book!!!! 

Winner will be announced next week:)

Blessings,

Lisa

---

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

---

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The One Stress-Reducing Strategy That Is Guaranteed To Change Your Life

When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace.

~Author Unknown

I know. We like quick fixes. We like our pills.  We like anything we can passively do or take that will eliminate any amount of stress or anxiety in our lives.

However, there is a strategy that’s been around for ages that is proven to help lower our stress in minutes. It can be used anywhere, anytime. It’s free and, it comes without a prescription. It’s deep breathing.

Now most of you are rolling your eyes, conjuring images of pretzel-like yoga positions, or some kind of “New-Age” mumbo-jumbo. I know, I know. I thought that too, at first. But as someone with a long history of anxiety and panic disorder, deep breathing has given me back my life and empowered me to successfully deal with the stress life will always bring.

Deep breathing is our body’s internal thermostat, much like the thermostat in most of our homes. When our home’s temperature rises to a certain level, the air-conditioning kicks in and cools the home to its desired temperature. In a similar way, when our body’s internal temperature heats up, we can utilize deep breathing to lower the temperature inside our bodies to a more comfortable setting.

Science tells us that once we become stressed, our heart rate increases, sometimes dramatically.  Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system, increasing shallow, rapid breathing, which in turn raises our internal temperature. In contrast, slow, deep breathing actually stimulates the opposing parasympathetic reaction — the one that calms us down. “If you breathe correctly, your mind will calm down,” said Dr. Patricia Gerbarg, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at New York Medical College in a recent NY Times article.

Deep breathing targets the physical stress responses in our bodies and not only forces our heart rate to slow, but also helps our muscles to relax, keeping our brains both calm and connected. By slowing our heart rate, we lower our internal temperature and remain better able to productively reason through and find effective strategies to deal with any stressful situation. This is why deep breathing is the one proven strategy that is guaranteed to reduce your stress in minutes. So, here are some of the basics.

https://vimeo.com/202839108

1. Sitting upright or lying down, place your hands on your belly.
2. Slowly breathe in, expanding your belly, to the count of three.
3. Hold for a moment.
4. Slowly breathe out to the count of four.
5. The goal is to increase your breathing to a count of six. Practicing this for 10 to 20 minutes a day.

Practice this consistently, making sure that your breathing is deep from your belly rather than shallow, chest breathing, and you will discover a powerful tool that can be utilized anytime, anywhere, and in any situation. From the boardroom to the living room, from sitting at the dinner table to driving in the car, you can become intentional in your breathing and learn how to use deep breathing exercises to regulate your internal temperature and reduce stress.

If there is one tool that will increase your EI (emotional intelligence) and help you successfully manage life and relationships, deep breathing is that tool. Learn it. Practice it. Make it your “go-to” and you will find increased inner strength and greater peace.

[clickToTweet tweet="When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace. ~Author Unknown #PeaceForALifetime" quote="When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace. ~Author Unknown"]

Blessings,

Lisa

---

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The One Thing We Need Most In Times Like These

I’ve been stressed lately. Really stressed. The air around me feels tense, the ground uneven, the future highly uncertain. Watching the news can send my blood pressure skyrocketing. I find myself seeking respite in Little House On The Prairie reruns just to take my mind off of everything that is swirling around me.

Because my inner wellbeing is a high priority for me, I can tell when something tips me off balance.   I don’t like this place. I don’t like the agitation, the irritability. I don’t like the anger that stews inside as I read through social media posts or supposed news articles. It makes me not “me.”

I think most of us feel this way at times. In different ways, for different reasons, we all can feel the hurt, the overwhelm, the despair that life can measure out with equal parts liberality and impunity. We have each at some point been backed into the corner of heartache and left wondering where we go to find healing? Where can we turn to find relief? Is there any hope that there is something to bind up what is so terribly broken between us as friends, neighbors, communities, and as a nation?

I don’t know. What I do know is that I cannot live in this kind of distress. I cannot live in this anxious unpeace, in the absence of my calm, present strength. This kind of muffled chaos takes too great a toll on my heart and keeps me from being who God created me to be, from fulfilling what God purposed in me. From my desperate need for peace.

So if I’m honest, whether it is in relationships, in business, in seasons of political tumult, I have found only one remedy to keep my sanity. One prescription that prevents the callouses from thickening around the edges of my heart and planting bitter seeds of rage deep in the bottom of my soul.

I pray.

I pray for the person who hurt me, who abandoned me in my time of need. I pray for the ones who offered shame in my distress and judgment in my brokenness. I pray for people who sometimes feel so foreign I can barely comprehend how we landed on this planet together. I pray for the angry who spew hatred everywhere. I pray for them. I call them by name.

For leaders I cannot understand and should not trust, for coworkers, for friends and enemies alike. I pray.

There is power that comes from the prayer of blessing.

I pray that they would have a life-altering, life-giving encounter with the cross of Jesus Christ, from whom ALL blessings flow. I pray that God Almighty would bless them beyond measure. I pray that He would cover them, anoint them, that He would multiply Heaven’s bounty in their lives. I pray for their children and their children’s children. That they would know they are loved. That they would know their worth, their value, that God would call them and use them for His purposes; that they would discover their unique calling and walk in it. I pray that they would be blessed and that God would fulfill His purposes for their lives. I pray that the heavens would open up, that their barns would be full and their hearts be rich. I pray that goodness, compassion, and kindness follow them in their work, their homes, and their lives.

How can this be, Lisa? you may ask. How can you pray blessing over someone who has abused you, grieved you, called you every name to mock and belittle you and your faith?

I pray, because it is in prayer, blessing in particular, that I am blessed. Prayer keeps the stain of resentment from searing itself to my heart. It is prayer that quells my disquieted and unsettled spirit. It is prayer that connects me to my friend, my spouse, my sibling, my neighbor and keeps us working together instead of prying us apart in disillusionment, hurt, and regret.

I pray because praying blessing connects me to myself and frees me to be “me.” Prayer allows me to live out my truest identity, my Belovedness. Praying blessing strengthens my soul spaces, multiplying my reservoir of compassion, of humility, of love. I pray because prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. Yes, unforgiveness.

[clickToTweet tweet="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. #prayer #healing" quote="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness."]

More than anything, praying blessing connects me to my Abba, Father. It releases to Him all that straps me to this world of hurt and misunderstanding. Prayer surrenders all the things I cannot understand, much less control. It reminds me of what I hold dear, what not to lose sight of, and what just a little grace can do for a broken, sullied spirit.

In prayer I am set free.

[clickToTweet tweet="In prayer I am set free. #prayer #healing #freedom #faith" quote="In prayer I am set free."]

I wonder what might happen if we all, instead of posting our diatribes on Facebook in defense of a post we don’t like, prayed blessing over the person who posted? I wonder what our relationships could look like if we began praying blessing over our loved ones, even those with whom we may disagree? I wonder if somehow some of this bitter pill we’ve all been swallowing would ease a little and we could feel more like friends rather than foes. I’m tired of seeing others as foes. Are you?

Who do you need to pray blessing over today? Where are the stress points in your life and in your relationships? What obstacle stands in the way of prayer?

If you want to know more about prayer, my friend, Carolyn Dale Newell, has just written an exceptional devotional, “Incense Rising,” on the importance and impact of prayer. Carolyn is an amazing spirit, a talented writer, and a fellow journeyer. She has the gift of encouragement, and though she has completely lost her eyesight, she has never lost her faith.

I love this devotional because it not only teaches us about the various aspects and attitudes of prayer, it guides us through the practice of prayer and prepares us to do active, spiritual warfare on our knees. She writes about all the names of God, their history, and their meaning, so that we can begin using them to empower our prayer life. Throughout the book, she always leads us back to the Word as the source for our prayers.

No matter what situation you are in, no matter what struggle you face, “Incense Rising” will recharge an renew your prayer life and offer both substance and strength for you on your journey of faith.

[clickToTweet tweet="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! #prayer " quote="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! "]

incense-rising-001-500x800

ORDER NOW!!

Amazon https://www.createspace.com/6267879

Kindle goo.gl/wykpLV

E-book at Smashwords for all other formats goo.gl/VbHe4h

Nook goo.gl/KDnNrm

iBooks goo.gl/C1isbk

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Are You Stuck In A Waiting Season?

Are you stuck in the "in-between?"  Do you feel lost at times knowing what step to take and where to go?    

We've all been there.  It doesn't make it any easier.  The waiting can be unbearable, interminable.  What do you do?  Here a few things NOT to do when you are living "in the meantime."  Read more here---

Have a great week!

Blessings,

Lisa

Eight Qualities of People with Emotional Abundance

Ever wonder why some people seem to excel at whatever they do while others can never seem to get a break? It seems some people always have a knack of fitting-in, knowing just the right thing to say, getting every promotion and accolade as their careers skyrocket. Yet for others life feels more like a continuous rollercoaster of dysfunction and chaos, with roadblocks at every turn.

Why do so many of us feel like our lives have landed somewhere between a dead-end and a disaster? Why does success in life seem to come easily for some, while for others  always feels decidedly out of reach?

The reason is based in our intelligence, but not our intellectual intelligence, or IQ. That’s what Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, says. Goleman has dedicated his work to finding out what makes people successful.

His research has concluded that success in life comes down to their emotional intelligence or what I call ‘Emotional Abundance.’ That’s what drives a person to excel. In fact, 80% of a person’s success in life is determined by their emotional skills while 20% is determined by their intellect.

As Goleman describes, If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.

So if Emotional Abundance is so important, exactly what is it? As I define in my new book, Peace For A Lifetime, Emotional Abundance is:

The ability to feel our emotions, to reason through our emotions, to understand our emotions, and to effectively manage our emotions so we can appropriately respond to the people and circumstances around us. EA is the capacity to meet the demands of everyday life and create meaning in order to move forward in a positive direction.

I’ve found eight qualities in Emotionally-Abundant people that are essential not just for our careers, but for being able to successfully navigate through life and relationships.

They’re more self-aware.

Individuals with Emotional Abundance are able to accurately self-reflect. They know their personality, their core strengths and weaknesses, as well as environments that will bring out the best in them. They don’t allow their weaknesses to hold them back. Rather than beating themselves up for what they don’t know or struggle to do well, they focus on creating strategies to improve skill sets so they can achieve their goals.

They live with balance.

Because they have a high level of self-awareness, they instinctively know how to cultivate and maintain balance in their lives. Whether at work or in their personal lives, they understand how to take care of themselves well in order to be the best they can be in every area of life. They eat well, get plenty of rest, and foster interests outside of work to establish and enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing.

They’re not perfectionists.

While Emotionally-Abundant individuals are highly motivated and accomplished, they recognize that perfection is impossible. Instead of creating an impossible cycle of unrealistic expectations followed by frustration and shame, they focus their energies on doing their best, maintaining flexibility, and learning from their mistakes.

They’re curious about life.

They’ve learned to cultivate an appreciation for varied and unique experiences. They are curious and passionate, knowing how to explore and learn new concepts and skills. Their curiosity makes them equally open to asking questions as well as to adapting to new solutions. Curious people are delightful people who haven’t lost their innate sense of wonder in a complex world of responsibilities.

They’re empathetic with others.

An essential quality of EA, individuals are well-skilled in their ability to relate to others. They can listen, understand, and be empathetic with others thoughts, feelings, and experiences, which allows them to reduce miscommunication and conflict both in the workplace and in personal relationships.

They’re growth-oriented.

They aren’t afraid of change. Because they are open to learning new things, they embrace growth as a necessary and important part of life. They are eager to accept challenges and usually adapt well even under difficult circumstances. In seeing the bigger picture, they can mobilize internal strategies to adjust and energize around new problems and circumstances.

They’re grateful.

Living with gratitude has an enormous impact on our level of Emotional Abundance. People who have a grateful disposition look for things big and small for which they can be thankful. They are generally satisfied with life and rarely allow negative feedback or people to influence their lives or their decisions.

They bring out the best in others.

Because they are at peace with themselves, people with EA are able to see coworkers and friends not as threats, but as assets. They do not feel the need to be defensive with others, but instead create a safe environment in which others can thrive. They love to see others reach their potential and are motivated by cooperation rather than competition.

How many of these qualities are you able to identify? Do some seem to come naturally while others seem overwhelming?

The best news about Emotional Abundance is that it can be cultivated and nurtured throughout our lives. Where we are today does not have to determine our future.

The more we grow Emotional Abundance in our lives, the more stable, positive, and productive our lives become, and the less chaotic, reactive, and hopeless our relationships feel. This is the single greatest area we could invest in for ourselves, our children, and our futures so that we can achieve our best life.

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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The Journey To Becoming His Beloved

I'm so blessed to be sharing today at

(in)courage.me !

I was always an anxious kid. I cried at my first piano recital and begged not to play. I finally relented and played anyway. I was permanently attached to my mom’s leg whether we were at church, at school, or even the grocery store.

There was no end to what I was afraid of. I was afraid of the monsters in the closet, afraid of my teachers, afraid of the popular kids in school. I was afraid of myself, of being rejected, of being ridiculed, of not being enough. And as I realized much later, I was also afraid of God... 

I'd love to have you stop by and read more of my story. If you are encouraged, I'd love for you to share!

Read More

Sign up here to receive free daily encouragement from the writers of (in)courage, sent right to your inbox!  

Blessings, friends!

Lisa

Four Key Elements To Discovering Your Purpose

And how to make the days ahead the most meaningful ever 

Delores had always been a vibrant, passionate woman. She had been active in her church, taught Bible studies for more years than she could remember, and routinely invested herself in the lives of the women she taught.

Sitting with her, her eyes welled up with tears. She seemed lost.

Ever since she retired and relocated to be near her children, she hadn’t been able to find a church community in which to invest herself. Every church already had their programs, their teachers. Her children and their families were busy with their lives and she struggled to nurture the kind of relationships she had always dreamed of with her grandchildren.

Her husband was now passed and this woman who had lived with such strength, passion, and purpose, now struggled to make sense of her life. She ached to have a place to plant herself. Her spirit was parched for soil in which she would thrive. Lonely, she began to sink into depression. Was this it?, she wondered. Was there a purpose at all to her life? 

Katie is in her late 20’s. Though she has a job, she longs to find her purpose in life – God’s unique calling to which she can dedicate her life. She searches to find her purpose every day in her career and her relationships, yet ends up feeling more confused and farther from her pursuit than ever.

Without a compass to give stability, direction, and meaning, she remains locked in a cycle of emptiness and wandering. Some days life feels overwhelming, almost unbearable.

Most of us can recall similar feelings at some point in our lives—the emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking, and the depression. They all merge together, and they always seem to present themselves in the dimmest moments of twilight.

We all need purpose. 

Viktor Frankl, an Austrian existential psychologist, created a school of thought called logotherapy. Frankl believed that our dominant driving force is to find meaning in life.

In the 1940s, Frankl was held prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. He felt the horror of losing everything only to be tortured and terrorized. With all the agony and brutality, what kept Frankl from giving up his relentless fight for his life?

Purpose. He was able to find meaning in his struggle, and that’s what gave him the power to push forward through unimaginable pain.

After escaping the concentration camps, Frankl published a book called Man’s Search for Meaning, which explores his experiences and includes an overview of logotherapy. A quote by Nietzsche nicely sums up his philosophy on how people were able to survive the camps, without losing the will to live:

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

[clickToTweet tweet="'He who has a 'why' to live for can bear almost any 'how'.' Viktor Frankl" quote="'He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.' Viktor Frankl"]

That is the power of purpose. We can find meaning and purpose in our relationships, we can find it in our values and beliefs. We can find purpose in our relationship with God, and we can explore our God-given passions to cultivate potential purposes for our lives.

In my book, Peace For A Lifetime, I explore three things that must align for you to discover your purpose: identity, beliefs and values, and passions. However, there’s one vital piece to the purpose puzzle that’s missing.

God’s purpose will always be connected with giving, not getting.

We tend to look for something external that will provide direction or purpose, that will fill the void inside. It’s counter-intuitive, but our search for purpose will emerge from what we are giving of ourselves to others.

Viktor Frankl describes,

Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.

Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people. Sounds so simple, right? The more we learn to serve others, the more fulfilled and satisfied we become.

[clickToTweet tweet="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people." quote="Do you want to be loved? Love someone. Would you like more joy in your life? Give joy to people."]

God’s purpose will always align with how He has made us.

As we define our identity (our core strengths and weaknesses) and our most deeply held beliefs and values, our curiosities used in service to others will explode into a relentless passion that emerges into a vibrant dynamic purpose.

1. Know your identity – write down a list of strengths and weaknesses.
2. Define your beliefs and values – write down your beliefs about life, faith, relationships, work.
3. Explore your passions – write down a list of things that interest you or make you curious.
4. How can you use the above three to serve a cause, a person, a community, or an organization other than yourself?

Once you identify these things, you will have a map to begin discovering your purpose. It may not include fame, it may not have a giant salary attached to it; it may be different than you had ever dreamed. Yet finding and engaging the purpose for which you were created will provide the greatest meaning and satisfaction you can imagine.

Do you enjoy talking with people? Where can you begin volunteering to talk or read with people who perhaps are lonely and would love a good conversation?

Do you enjoy cooking? How can you identify individuals, families, or organizations within your community for whom you can begin cooking meals?

Are you gifted at teaching, writing, organizing, helping? There is no right or wrong. Get creative and try out several things.

Your purpose today may look different than it did twenty years ago. God is always growing us to develop new passions and purposes for every season of our lives.

Explore the things you love today and begin to look for ways you can use your gift to bless someone. In the end, you will be giving yourself the biggest blessing of all. You will be living your life on purpose with purpose.

How have you struggled to find your purpose in life? What is God showing you about Himself and about you along your journey? 

I’d love to hear!

If you haven't joined our community on Facebook, I would LOVE to have you be a part of our little online family!

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

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About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You’re Ready To Run, But God’s Called You To Rest

Lately I feel like I’ve been running at full speed for, well it seems like forever, and I just hit a brick wall. 

Do you ever have those times? Times when you’ve finished a project or season God called you to, and just in the moment when you are ready to dive headlong into the next mission, when you can feel the adrenaline pumping full-force through your veins, He calls you to rest.

Rest in those moments feels nothing like rest. It feels like it felt as a child when I was relegated to my room for an interminable period of quiet, as a time-out from everything I was really wanting to do. Forced seclusion.

What does a body do with four walls and a mind that won’t stop thinking, looking for the next need, the next mission as if the world will come unhinged if something gets overlooked or worse yet, undone?

So here’s where I am. I have to admit my soul is stirring, there’s a lot of heart work to do out there. My calling, my passion is to walk with people on their journeys. I can see the heartache. I can feel the overwhelmed, anxious helplessness as if it is stirring through my veins. And yet the word I hear God whispering today is…rest.

Rest? How can I rest when there is so much to be done?

And then I heard Him whisper to my heart,

Rest, because I need you to rest. To find rest. To find Me. To just be with Me. You are right, my child, there’s a whole big world out there that’s desperate for more than you can give. It’s okay. I see them, too. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t overlooked.

Trust that I am big enough to notice all of the discouragement, to see every soul who despairs. I see the broken, the exhausted, the battle-weary, the cynical, the eyes filled with anger for all of the injustice. I see the oceans full of disappointed dreams and calloused, dulled hopes. I see you.

Trust that in your rest I am nurturing something new. Your rest is required. Your rest is the next step on your journey. Not a place of punishment, not a time-out, but a carefully designed respite with Me, to simply be with you and enjoy you. To celebrate, to laugh. To share stories in the twilight and notice the sunset together. I see you.

Trust that you are enough. Just as you are. You are significant because I formed you in your mother’s womb. You are cherished because I planned you long before the foundation of the universe. You are beautiful and yes, worthy. You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you.

[clickToTweet tweet="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. " quote="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you."]

So wherever you are today, whatever season of silence you are wading through, whatever hopes and dreams hang in the balance… rest. Trust that God notices you on your knees crying out to Him in the sleepless nights. Trust that He’s well-acquainted with your most tender, swollen wounds. Trust that He sees you right where you are, just as you are. You are precious to Him. He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself.

[clickToTweet tweet="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself." quote="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself."]

I can’t think of anything else I need more today.

How is God calling you to Himself today? What is one thing you can do today to find rest?

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

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About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Six Myths About Being a Good Mom

And the truths that can empower our parenting 

The pressure is real. The ads say it, social media screams it. Moms have to be perfect. We need to have it all figured out — how to be playful and fun, structured and planned, how to know what every cough, sneeze, cry, or whimper means.

Ideally, we’d be a little Dr. Phil, a whole lot Martha Stewart. We’d be as smart as Megyn Kelly, cook like Rachel Ray and have Ellen’s sense of humor. Everywhere moms today struggle against the many pressures that gnaw at us, that control us, that tell us we are not enough and that we better try harder, stay up longer, and make it happen.

Psychologist Diane Sanford, PhD, health expert for the American Psychological Association noted in an article for Today Parenting, “Women tend to compare and measure themselves against unrealistic images and then feel they fall short.” Somewhere along the way we have created an ideal and largely unrealistic vision of what motherhood entails, good motherhood that is. We’ve created a myth. We’ve believed a lie. And the lies are controlling us, exhausting us, and destroying us.

Here are a few myths about being a mom we need to recognize and the truths we need to set us free to begin celebrating our role as a mom and enjoying our children in these precious years.

Myth #1. We must do everything for our kids if we are going to be a good mom.

We race around deliriously believing that the sign of our exhaustion is proof of how we measure up as a mom. We will carry ourselves to Target at 10pm, bake cookies into the wee hours of the night, never miss a practice, a rehearsal, or skate party, as if our lives depended on it. We feel guilty if every minute of our day isn’t completely devoted in thought or action to our beloved little ones.

The truth is our kids don’t need us to do everything for them. In fact, they actually benefit from learning to do more for themselves. Good moms recognize their sense of self-worth must come from something other than their identity as a mom. They are able to care for themselves well. They are at peace with the fact they can’t do everything and simply focus on enjoying the activities and tasks they can do.

Myth #2. If we can be the perfect parent, we can raise perfect children.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent and there is no such thing as perfect children. The truth is no matter how hard you try, you are going to impact your children in ways you don’t necessarily want or intend. Though this has never been any different, modern motherhood has made the pursuit of perfection or near perfection a consuming goal.

The thinking is if we are perfect for our children, we can guarantee their future, and at the same time counteract the wounds from our childhood. We are all on our own journeys. It’s not your job to be perfect, nor will striving for this goal benefit your children. It is your job to be you, to heal your wounds, to live your life in the most fulfilling way possible. This version of you is what your children need most. God has to be the God of our children, not us.

Myth #3. We must give our kids everything if we are to be a good mom.

In reality, “more” is making moms and their children miserable. Between activities, possessions and commitments, we’re being suffocated by the very things we hope will enrich us, fill us, or give us the momentary happiness for which we long.

The truth is, we’re all driven towards abundance, but what we’re looking for today is the wrong kind of abundance. External things were never meant to fill us, or give us the satisfaction we desire. Until we learn to look to God and ourselves for our inner abundance, we will continue to accumulate indiscriminately. Instead, give your kids yourself. Spend time with them instead of buying them. Teach them to dream, to love God, to enjoy the people in their lives, to serve others, and to find meaning in the present moment. These are the most precious gifts we can give our children.

Myth #4. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. 

We live with the internal motto that we can do everything. We don’t like to ask for help. We fear that asking would mean we were weak, perhaps incompetent. We tell ourselves, Everyone else seems to manage everything alone, I should, too.

The truth is, though more virtually connected than ever, mothers have never been so isolated in the rearing of children. We aren’t meant to raise children alone. We can ask for help from our friends, our neighbors, our family members. We can seek wisdom from other moms who have walked the road before. We can even reach out to professionals to help when our best efforts are running short and we don’t know where to turn.

Myth #5. We should be enjoying every moment.

Somehow we wake up every morning believing that every breakfast, every diaper change, every minute of our time with our children should be both enjoyable and meaningful. If it isn’t, we must be doing something wrong.

The truth is, parenting is a wonderful, beautiful, miraculous experience unlike any other on earth. But not every moment is going to be wonderful, beautiful, or exciting. It just isn’t. It’s not supposed to be. Life is about finding meaning in the mundane, about living thoughtfully and authentically each moment and trusting that this is enough. Mothering is a sacred calling, though every experience is not intended to be. Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It is enough. You are enough. God is enough.

[clickToTweet tweet="Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that it is enough. You are enough. God is enough." quote="Free yourself to be present in whatever moment you are in and trust that it is enough. You are enough. God is enough."]

Myth #6. If we parent right, our kids will love us.

Perhaps…when they are 25 years old. Most kids will be kids. They will love us, they will hate us, they will feel many things about us throughout their young lives. Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves. That is not their responsibility. If we are parenting only to receive their affection or approval, we will not be effective parents.

[clickToTweet tweet="Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves." quote="Our children were never placed on this earth to complete us, love us, or make us feel good about ourselves."]

The truth is if you are parenting effectively you will get a mixture of emotional responses from your children. Your parenting decisions should never be based on your emotional needs. The best parenting decisions are made in the context of what your children need to learn, how they need to grow, and what will provide the best tools for them have the healthiest, most meaningful lives as adults.

We need to stop living on the treadmill of comparison, insecurity, disappointment, and guilt. God gave your children you to be their mom, because they needed you, with all your flaws, all your insecurities, all your quirks and hang-ups. Be the best “you” you can be. Pray for wisdom in each decision. Trust your intuition in each situation. Leave the rest to God. He is in control anyway.

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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How Technology Could Be Hurting Your Wellbeing

Tips for maximizing technology while minimizing the pain - literally!

In the months leading up to the launch of my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I was doing more writing and computer work than normal. The process of platform building and marketing can be both demanding and time-consuming.

Several weeks ago I started noticing my shoulder aching. My entire left arm began to tingle through my elbow all the way down to my fingers.

I didn’t think much of it. I am not ill often. I simply kept pressing on in spite of the pain. Unfortunately it didn’t get any better. In fact, it only grew worse finally sending me to the chiropractor.

After initial x-rays and examination, I was told that my neck, which should be curved, is actually straight. Three discs in my neck were mostly immobile. Not a good diagnosis, as the chiropractor described.

What I didn’t know is that throughout our entire lives, our body uses these curves as shock absorbers. The curves help us to balance and move. When viewed from the side, the body should have three distinct curves – one in the neck, one in the mid back and one in the lower back.

The curve in the neck is considered the most important, and has been referred to as the arc of life. This is a term coined by a neurosurgeon due to the importance of the cervical curve and the structure it protects – your nervous system.

It turns out that my blogging and social media habits have placed my neck in a downward position, which has contributed to my considerable neck pain. I am not alone. “It is an epidemic or, at least, it’s very common,” Hansraj, chief of spine surgery at New York Spine Surgery and Rehabilitation Medicine, told The Washington Post. “Just look around you, everyone has their heads down.”

Research has shown multiple severe health-issues related to the loss of the cervical curvature. Multiple studies have shown that a loss of this curve reduces lung capacity by up to 30%; decreased lung capacity has been linked to COPD, heart disease and cancer.  

Abnormal posture can cause organ disease, muscle tension, increased sensitivity to pain and weakened immune system. Loss of cervical curve can also result in loss of balance, dizziness, overall poor health, headaches, pain, numbness, weaknesses and decreased quality of life.  It can also inhibit the release of endorphins, which can have a negative impact on our moods and sense of happiness and wellbeing.  

Scientists suggest the major factor in the rise of “text-neck,” as they have named it, is the enormous increase in technology usage throughout the day. Smartphone users spend an average of two to four hours per day hunched over, reading e-mails, sending texts or checking social media sites. That’s 700 to 1,400 hours per year people are putting stress on their spines, according to the research.

According to The Wireless Association, texting statistics have increased astronomically.  In June 2006 in the USA, there were 12.5 billion texts sent monthly.  By June 2011, that number grew to 196.9 billion.  Clearly, this problem isn’t going anywhere. Who knew?

Since our physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing are so intricately connected, it is vital that we are aware of and care for our physical health. If you use your computer often or are on your electronic devices, here are some practical tips to avoid “text-neck” and help keep your wellbeing in tip-top shape.

• Get the app - Florida chiropractor, Dr. Dean Fishman actually created a “Text Neck” app for the Android, which offers “immediate real time feedback” about whether your standing in the correct posture, indicated by a green or red light. There’s also an optional vibration or beep reminder, when you lapse into bad habits. Best of all, according to the doctor, it actually tracks and scores your slouching/standing patterns.

• Raise the phone - Move your cell phone (and other devices) to eye level so your head doesn’t have to be tilted.

• Take frequent breaks - Spend some time away from the phone—or any type of head-forward posture. Remember to change positions when texting—lying on one's back is an excellent way to relieve pressure on the neck.

• Stand up straight - Good posture, with the shoulders pulled back, keeps the body aligned in a neutral position.

• Arch and stretch - Arch the neck and upper back backward periodically to ease muscle pain.

• Stay fit - A strong, flexible back and neck are better able to handle extra stress.

We are only given one body. I know we will all increasingly use technology as a means of connecting with and engaging the world around us. Yet if we can become aware of and implement a few things to help our bodies, we will in fact be helping our souls. We will be building a strong physical foundation that will empower us to live abundantly —physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We can all cultivate more balance in our lives, which is essential if we are going to achieve our goals or experience the abundant life we desire. Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace.

[clickToTweet tweet="Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace." quote="Physical wellbeing is one piece of the puzzle that will help you on your journey towards peace."]

References:

• Lee S, Kang H, Shin G. Head flexion angle while using a smartphone. Ergonomics. 2015;58(2):220-226.

       •  Hansraj KK. Assessment of Stresses in the Cervical Spine Caused by Posture and Position of the Head.                Surgical Technology International. 2014;11(25):277-9.

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

Lisa is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. Her online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, Lisa is just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. She has fallen passionately in love with the journey and believes it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While she grew up in the Florida sunshine, she and her husband now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In her new book, Peace for a Lifetime, Lisa Murray shares the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lisa discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through Lisa and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Join our community on Facebook: Lisa Murray!

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You Feel Like God Has Forgotten The Desires Of Your Heart

Sometimes maybe dreams don’t come true. 

I held tightly to Psalm 37:4b (NIV) that He will give you the desires of your heart. I had memorized that verse as a little girl and recited it faithfully as I dreamed of what my life would be.

Month after month I prayed, I waited. To be honest I spent much of my time begging and pleading with God. The dream of having a child was not an easy one to get past. Strollers, babies, blankets, loom around every corner. They are usually joyful experiences, witnessing the miracle of new life. Yet these were not joyful experiences for me. Each was a reminder of the dream. The vacancy in my heart that had never been filled.

How do I fill this? I wondered. How do you get past this most primal, basic human drive, a dream that you have carried with you since you were a little girl?

I didn’t know. I endured, carrying this pain with me wherever I went. Some moments were filled with a deep and wearying sorrow. Some moments, anger. There were people who didn’t understand. How could you feel the loss of something you never had? they questioned.

But I could. I did.

I could never get past God’s words to me. I believed Him when He said that He would give me the desires of my heart.

I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when.

I understood Sarah’s laughter at God’s promise to her (Genesis 18) as she could feel her body aging, as she faced the window of time slowly closing in around her. I laughed, too.

In time I relented to the grief I had for so long held at bay. I gave in to the waves of pain that engulfed me. Silently, loudly, deeply, desperately – I grieved.

In the midst of my grief I somehow wondered if God’s words were true. I questioned whether He saw me right in the midst of my brokenness. Whether He had a miracle for me, like He did for Sarah.

As I healed, I began to discover that God’s miracles were all around me. His provision had been there all along. I began see my stepchildren as God’s gift for me to love, to invest myself. I saw my nephews and nieces as His blessing of little miracles and joys in my life. As a professional therapist, I see each and every client I have the honor to work with as my children. I love them. I delight in them. I get to pour out God’s love to them and walk with them as they build their lives, as they heal, as they grow.

My healing grew as God cemented in me my identity as His beloved. As He showed me my value and worth. My healing birthed in me new passions and purposes. My healing allowed me to discover and build a life full of hope, full of wholeness, full of abundance. Above all, full of peace.

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I not only share bits of my journey toward peace, but I also share other individual’s stories of how to cultivate a life of healing and wholeness in whatever circumstances life brings.

If you have ever experienced the loss of a dream, God has not forgotten or abandoned you. He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. He had one for me.

[clickToTweet tweet="He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you!" quote="He loves you. He is with you right in the middle of your circumstances. He has a miracle for you. "]

No, God didn’t give me a baby. Yet He has been faithful. He has fulfilled every desire of my heart. He will fulfill the desires of your heart, too.

I have many children. My heart is full. Abundant.

Whatever you dream is, with God dreams really do come true!

What are the desires of your heart that have not yet been fulfilled?  Leave your comment below.  I'd love to hear your journey!

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My desire is to provide a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I now live just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN with my husband and 16yr old Shih-tzu, Sophie.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com

I'd love to have you join the Peace for a Lifetime community on Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Three Ways To Maximize Peace In Your Relationships

How to stop enabling and start loving well 

A friend posted a quote on Facebook the other day. It said, We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. @lysaterkerust

How true, I thought instantly.

We struggle to know how to love, when to love, where to love. We grapple to acknowledge when our love isn’t loving, when it is nothing short of enabling.

We all have those relationships. We each have people in our lives who somehow expand their level of taking while never getting around to giving, who always seem to be in a crisis, and who never want to listen to advice.

The cajole us. They blame us. They manipulate us interminably because we are afraid to say no— afraid of the anger, afraid of the disappointment, perhaps we’re afraid of the punishment to come and most certainly, we’re afraid of being rejected.

We desperately want things to be different. We had so many hopes and dreams for what our lives with family and friends would look like. We never envisioned this.

Enabling has become such a catchphrase in our culture. Though in a positive sense enabling can be used to denote empowerment, in a negative sense, according to Wikepedia:

“Enabling can describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but in fact may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem. A common theme of enabling in this latter sense is that third parties take responsibility or blame, or make accommodations for a person's harmful conduct (often with the best of intentions, or from fear or insecurity which inhibits action). The practical effect is that the person himself or herself does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change. Enabling in this sense is a major environmental cause of addiction.”

We have become a nation of enablers. As parents, we stand between our children and the consequences of their actions because we feel it defines our love as better, or stronger, for our children. We believe that rescuing is helping. Desperately needing to feel loved ourselves, and having placed our children on the altar of our emotional needs, we are immobilized from saying or doing anything that might threaten their love for us.

As friends and family, we try to be helpful, loving. We always tell ourselves, this will be the last time, knowing full well somewhere in the back quarter of our minds that it won’t be. We tell ourselves, that’s what good parents do for their children, that’s what friends do for each other, that’s what being a good Christian means.

We need them to love us because many of us do not know how to love ourselves. We use their love as a surrogate love that was never meant to fill the hole inside of us, the place where God’s love and our love was meant to fill.

What do we do? How do we determine where we end and another begins? How do we begin to forge healthy boundaries so that we can actually love others, without enabling them?

Assess whether your efforts to help have helped.

Have your acts of love led to any real, consistent behavioral change? Is this the fifth time your child has totaled the family car? Has the money you’ve given a loved one really gotten them out of a crisis and put them back up on the road toward health and stability? Have you ever been repaid?

If what we want is behavioral change, if we want our friends and our children to make better choices, are they? If not, chances are that your love and your help have not been loving or helpful.

The first step towards behavioral change is sincerely owning responsibility for one’s life and having a heart change. Owning responsibility never blames, never rationalizes, and is not angry. Owning responsibility is simply that. It is heartfelt and is followed by repentance. Repentance is defined as, turning from sin and dedicating oneself to the amendment of one's life; to feel regret or contrition; to change one’s mind.

You can always tell when there is heart change. Heart change is always followed by behavioral change. Apologies, rationalizations, blame, threats rarely lead to life change.

Determine what boundaries are needed for you to stop enabling your loved ones.

Do you need to stop rescuing your children? Do you need to stop giving money, room and board, or transportation when it only seems to perpetuate the insanity, and continue the dysfunctional cycle? Do our loved ones need to face the consequences of their choices? Do our friends and family members need to find the answers to their problems themselves instead of looking to you to be the answer to their problems?

What do you need to do or better yet, stop doing, to lovingly allow your loved ones to come face to face with themselves and God in order to determine the path they will pursue on their journeys. Love them. Give them the gift of facing the results of their choices, their hearts, their lives, and having the opportunity to build a life that’s radically different.

Learn the most loving word, “No.”

Whatever emotions surface inside of you as a result of saying “no” are your responsibility. Don’t place them on someone else. Lean in. Listen.

If you’ve never learned how to love yourself and continue the enabling in an effort to find and feel love, even for a fleeting and perhaps, destructive moment, you can begin today. Learn how to experience God’s love for you. Learn how to give the gift of love to yourself. You are beloved. You are worthy. You are enough. It is never someone else’s job to give that to you. It is your job. Open yourself to the love that is waiting for you.

When your friend or loved one asks something of you that you know you should not do, calmly, respectfully say “no.” Free them. Free yourself. Focus on the things you can do. You can pray. Perhaps you can offer suggestions, if they are requested. Freedom allows everyone to determine how they want to engage their lives, how they want to move forward with clarity into their future.

Just because someone has a problem doesn’t mean that it is your problem. Love sees the long-term game and is willing to sacrifice short-term pay-offs to ensure the potential of future success.

• Assess whether your efforts to help have helped.
• Determine what boundaries are needed to stop enabling your loved ones.
• Learn to use the most loving word, “No.”

You will find freedom in your heart and mind. You will find abundance in your relationships. You will find peace.

My new book Peace for a Lifetime speaks to the heart of relationships and teaches us how we can build Emotional Abundance into our lives so our relationships can flourish. If your relationships seem filled with heartache, chaos, and disappointment, if you are lost wondering what to do next, this book will outline simple, practical ways you can cultivate healthy, stable relationships that will maximize the peace in your life.

To order your copy, click here!

What is the relationship that is hardest for you to draw healthy boundaries? Leave your comment below. I’d love us to learn and grow with each other.

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How I Leverage My Time To Maximize My Peace

I’ve always been intentional with my time. It’s one of the most important tools I have. It impacts nearly everything I do. Well, almost everything.

Like many others, time is always something of which I never seem to have enough. Too many distractions and too many demands make it difficult to accomplish the goals I have set.

Many of our schedules are not condusive to a defined regiment and life today isn’t as neat or tidy as it was growing up.

Today I leverage my time to effectively manage much of my complex personal and professional life, and to maximize my peace.

Here’s a list of a few strategies I use:

• I realistically look at the pockets of time that are not spoken for throughout the day. Sometimes it may be a 30-minute segment of time before work; sometimes, there may be 10 minutes in between meetings.

• I mentally prioritize or write down in my journal the goals that would be most meaningful for me to accomplish. Sometimes deadlines force something to the top of the list, but otherwise I try to focus on what is most meaningful. That allows me to stay connected with my passions and purpose without becoming sidetracked or exhausted.

• I strategize to assign smaller goals to smaller pockets of time and larger goals to larger pockets of time. I know my physical and mental make-up as well. I know the morning is when I am most refreshed and focused to write, so I try to schedule more in-depth creative tasks earlier in the day and easier, more administrative tasks later in the afternoon or evening.

• I focus on the meaning in the moment. As I am engaged in one project, I do my best not to become overwhelmed by everything else I need to do. I spend a few moments deep-breathing to help keep me connected and centered on enjoying whatever the task is at hand. This may sound weird to some, but when I can look for meaning even in the small, mundane tasks, it allows me to be fully present in each moment and to find joy wherever I am. The rest of the day will come, the other tasks will be attended to. I do not want to waste this moment focusing on, overwhelmed by, consumed by another moment. This moment is the only one I’m guaranteed.

• I schedule downtime. Again, depending on the pockets of time that emerge throughout the day, I make sure to assign time for unstructured play. This may mean a few moments of deep-breathing and guided imagery. It may also mean a cup of tea and a good book. Unstructured playtime is just as important as any other task I accomplish throughout the day. It allows my mind to relax and recharge. It grounds and soothes me physically and emotionally.

[clickToTweet tweet="The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule,but to schedule your priorities.-Stephen Covey" quote="“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” Stephen Covey"]

[clickToTweet tweet="“We will either walk well throughout our day, or our day will walk all over us.” @Lisa Murray " quote="“We will either walk well throughout our day, or our day will walk all over us.” Lisa Murray"]

Leveraging my time allows me to accomplish the things to which God has called me, but also frees me to enjoy each moment for the beautiful gift it is in my life.

Question: How do you leverage your time to maximize your peace?

To learn more about my new book, 'Peace for a Lifetime' where I share tools to make the most of our margin as well as how to de-stress and enjoy the greatest meaning in life, click here or visit Amazon to buy the book.  

Blessings, 

Lisa

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THE $1.99 AMAZON eBOOK DEAL YOU CANNOT MISS

For TWO DAYS ONLY, MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ for $1.99!!!!!

You cannot miss out on this deal!

To Order Your eBook Now Click Here

Have you or a loved one dealt with depression, anxiety? Do you feel your best life is always just beyond your reach? Do problems in relationships seem to follow you?

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, ‘Peace for a Lifetime’ can not only help you find healing from your deepest wounds, it can help you cultivate harmony and abundance in every area of your life AND your relationships.

Wouldn’t that be awesome - to move from emptiness to abundance, from brokenness to wholeness, from chaos to peace?

Here’s what you’ll discover:

• Three things that keep people stuck in a cycle of despair and disappointment in their lives and in their relationships
• Simple steps to build a healthy relationship with your emotions so you can make them work for you instead of against you in your life
• A clear plan to get you investing in yourself in all the right ways so you can maximize your satisfaction, wellbeing, and God-given potential
• Strategies for learning how to resolve conflicts and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships
• Templates to begin growing your emotional vocabulary to that you can communicate more effectively with everyone in your life

So what is holding you back? There is so much to gain in your life by reaching forward. This journey marks a new beginning – your new beginning.

And with a deal like this one, you have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain! Don’t just give ‘Peace For A Lifetime’ as a gift to yourself. Order them for your friends and loved ones. Or order a dozen for your summer small group study. They make a great leadership guide for any company or organization.

[clickToTweet tweet="MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of #PeaceForALifetime for $1.99!!!!! Order HERE! " quote="MARCH 28-29, Amazon is offering the eBook of #PeaceForALifetime for $1.99!!!!! Order HERE!"]

I’d love to hear from you – what area of your life do you struggle the most to create the life you’ve always dreamed? Leave your response in the comments below.