The One Thing We Need Most In Times Like These

I’ve been stressed lately. Really stressed. The air around me feels tense, the ground uneven, the future highly uncertain. Watching the news can send my blood pressure skyrocketing. I find myself seeking respite in Little House On The Prairie reruns just to take my mind off of everything that is swirling around me.

Because my inner wellbeing is a high priority for me, I can tell when something tips me off balance.   I don’t like this place. I don’t like the agitation, the irritability. I don’t like the anger that stews inside as I read through social media posts or supposed news articles. It makes me not “me.”

I think most of us feel this way at times. In different ways, for different reasons, we all can feel the hurt, the overwhelm, the despair that life can measure out with equal parts liberality and impunity. We have each at some point been backed into the corner of heartache and left wondering where we go to find healing? Where can we turn to find relief? Is there any hope that there is something to bind up what is so terribly broken between us as friends, neighbors, communities, and as a nation?

I don’t know. What I do know is that I cannot live in this kind of distress. I cannot live in this anxious unpeace, in the absence of my calm, present strength. This kind of muffled chaos takes too great a toll on my heart and keeps me from being who God created me to be, from fulfilling what God purposed in me. From my desperate need for peace.

So if I’m honest, whether it is in relationships, in business, in seasons of political tumult, I have found only one remedy to keep my sanity. One prescription that prevents the callouses from thickening around the edges of my heart and planting bitter seeds of rage deep in the bottom of my soul.

I pray.

I pray for the person who hurt me, who abandoned me in my time of need. I pray for the ones who offered shame in my distress and judgment in my brokenness. I pray for people who sometimes feel so foreign I can barely comprehend how we landed on this planet together. I pray for the angry who spew hatred everywhere. I pray for them. I call them by name.

For leaders I cannot understand and should not trust, for coworkers, for friends and enemies alike. I pray.

There is power that comes from the prayer of blessing.

I pray that they would have a life-altering, life-giving encounter with the cross of Jesus Christ, from whom ALL blessings flow. I pray that God Almighty would bless them beyond measure. I pray that He would cover them, anoint them, that He would multiply Heaven’s bounty in their lives. I pray for their children and their children’s children. That they would know they are loved. That they would know their worth, their value, that God would call them and use them for His purposes; that they would discover their unique calling and walk in it. I pray that they would be blessed and that God would fulfill His purposes for their lives. I pray that the heavens would open up, that their barns would be full and their hearts be rich. I pray that goodness, compassion, and kindness follow them in their work, their homes, and their lives.

How can this be, Lisa? you may ask. How can you pray blessing over someone who has abused you, grieved you, called you every name to mock and belittle you and your faith?

I pray, because it is in prayer, blessing in particular, that I am blessed. Prayer keeps the stain of resentment from searing itself to my heart. It is prayer that quells my disquieted and unsettled spirit. It is prayer that connects me to my friend, my spouse, my sibling, my neighbor and keeps us working together instead of prying us apart in disillusionment, hurt, and regret.

I pray because praying blessing connects me to myself and frees me to be “me.” Prayer allows me to live out my truest identity, my Belovedness. Praying blessing strengthens my soul spaces, multiplying my reservoir of compassion, of humility, of love. I pray because prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. Yes, unforgiveness.

[clickToTweet tweet="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness. #prayer #healing" quote="Prayer releases me from any chains of offense, of hatred, or unforgiveness."]

More than anything, praying blessing connects me to my Abba, Father. It releases to Him all that straps me to this world of hurt and misunderstanding. Prayer surrenders all the things I cannot understand, much less control. It reminds me of what I hold dear, what not to lose sight of, and what just a little grace can do for a broken, sullied spirit.

In prayer I am set free.

[clickToTweet tweet="In prayer I am set free. #prayer #healing #freedom #faith" quote="In prayer I am set free."]

I wonder what might happen if we all, instead of posting our diatribes on Facebook in defense of a post we don’t like, prayed blessing over the person who posted? I wonder what our relationships could look like if we began praying blessing over our loved ones, even those with whom we may disagree? I wonder if somehow some of this bitter pill we’ve all been swallowing would ease a little and we could feel more like friends rather than foes. I’m tired of seeing others as foes. Are you?

Who do you need to pray blessing over today? Where are the stress points in your life and in your relationships? What obstacle stands in the way of prayer?

If you want to know more about prayer, my friend, Carolyn Dale Newell, has just written an exceptional devotional, “Incense Rising,” on the importance and impact of prayer. Carolyn is an amazing spirit, a talented writer, and a fellow journeyer. She has the gift of encouragement, and though she has completely lost her eyesight, she has never lost her faith.

I love this devotional because it not only teaches us about the various aspects and attitudes of prayer, it guides us through the practice of prayer and prepares us to do active, spiritual warfare on our knees. She writes about all the names of God, their history, and their meaning, so that we can begin using them to empower our prayer life. Throughout the book, she always leads us back to the Word as the source for our prayers.

No matter what situation you are in, no matter what struggle you face, “Incense Rising” will recharge an renew your prayer life and offer both substance and strength for you on your journey of faith.

[clickToTweet tweet="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! #prayer " quote="No matter what struggle you face, #IncenseRising will recharge an renew your prayer life! "]

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Four Proven Strategies That Can Help Make You a Better Decision-Maker

Overwhelmed.  I sat with the application for graduate school in my hands, but for some inexplicable reason, I could not make a decision.  For weeks, I could not put the stamp on the envelope and mail it in. 

What-if’s paralyzed me.  What if I hate it?  What if I love it?  What if I am terrible at school?  What if I am great at school?  What if it has been too long since I’ve been in school?  What if it is too much for me to handle?  What if I am too old?

The negative thoughts were endless.

I always wanted to go to graduate school.  Me, the plumber’s daughter who barely thought it possible that I might go to college at all, wanted to go to graduate school.

My husband, the courageous one, said, What have you got to lose?  If this is not the right program, you could simply switch and try something else you might like better.

I could?  That seemed too easy.  Surely there must be something else I am not considering.  I felt an immense pressure to make the right decision, the perfect decision.

Isn’t that what traps us all at times – the pressure to get things right, perfect?  Decisions, it seems, weigh heavily.  Trapped underneath the weight of ought’s and should’s and must’s and if’s, we can find ourselves teetering on the brink of collapse at the very notion of what might befall us.

So, how do we know if we’re making a good decision?  What is there that can help us feel more confident about taking the next step, whatever that step may be?

There are four proven strategies I’ve learned that can help make you a winning decision-maker.

1.  Learning the Art of Calm.  I don’t know about you, but when faced with a decision, I can almost feel my blood pressure rise and my heart start pumping faster.  My mind is dizzy and scattered.  I can’t feel confident about any decision when I am physiologically stressed because it shifts me into fight or flight mode.  My thinking becomes confused and disorganized, which makes decision-making even more difficult.

Learning to calm our bodies and quiet our minds with deep-breathing techniques, helps us to release all of the thoughts flooding our minds so we can arrive at a place where we are mentally and physically calm and centered.  We can never make healthy decisions when we are in a stressed state, which is why this step is vital.  Some of my worst decisions have been made when I made knee-jerk decisions in a moment of stress or emotion.

2. Developing the Habit of Information-Gathering.  When faced with a decision, my “go-to” power step is to begin gathering information.  Are there articles I can read online?  Is there an expert in the field to whom I can ask questions?  Does this fit me – my personality, my strengths and weaknesses, my beliefs and values?  Does this feel like a natural extension of where I am going or does it feel like a left turn?

There are no right or wrong answers.  We just won’t make a well-informed decision without the answers to some of these questions.  For me, the additional benefit to developing the habit of research is that is helps calm me.  As I gather information, I usually feel less overwhelmed.  I can see the picture more clearly.  The more detailed information I collect usually provides a sense deep inside as to whether something feels right or not.  Some people may call this their gut instinct, I call it my inner voice, that distinct, loving, compassionate voice of the Holy Spirit, moving and breathing inside of me.  Longing to speak in only the way He can speak.  Beckoning me.  As I gather information prayerfully, the pathway before me usually becomes more clear, more illuminated.

3.  Committing the decision to prayer.  So I come to this place.  I've calmed myself.  I've done my best to gather information and wisdom that will help me make the best decision possible.  Now I cover my decision in prayer.  I release.  I submit - my will for God's, my plans for His, knowing that His will is infinitely better, His thoughts infinitely higher than mine could ever be.  In this moment I am free.  In casting my cares upon Him, He will order my steps.  I need not fear.

For me, I don't want my strategies.  I don't want my will.  I want His will more than anything.  Prayer releases whatever hold I may have, whatever desire to which I may cling.  Prayer prepares me to step out, though I may not be able to see where I am going.  The outcome may be hazy and unclear, but my identity, my passion and my purpose gives me the courage to move.  My destination is owned by my Heavenly Father and that is forever crystal clear.

4. Daring to Take the Next Step.  So I step.  Out into the unknown at times.  But I step.  I’ve learned that paralysis will never yield the result I want, nor will it lead me where I want to go.  I have learned through the years that most decisions do not carry life-or-death, all-or-nothing outcomes.  Every decision can be an opportunity to learn and grow.

If somehow along the way, I made a mistake, that is okay.  I don’t have to get everything right the first time.  I certainly don’t have to be perfect.  I just have to try my best.  And if for some reason, I did take a left turn —well, I can calm myself, gather more information, and take another step in a different direction.

Ultimately, individuals who are actively involved in taking steps in their lives, even if they make a mistake, build a forward momentum that carries them where they want to go.

What is the decision you face today?

What is the weight that looms over you, that threatens to paralyze you and keep you trapped right where you are?

Don’t let a decision overwhelm you.  Don’t fight against it.  Don’t run from it.

Walk right up to your decision,

learn the art of calm,

develop the habit of information-gathering,

commit your decision to prayer,

and dare to take the next step!

[bctt tweet="Walk right up to your decision, learn the art of calm, gather information, pray, and dare to take the next step!"]

I'd love to hear about how you've approached decisions in your life and how you've dared to take the next step!

Thanks,

Lisa Murray, LMFT

Director of Counseling Ministries

Grace Chapel

(615)294-3424

www.lmurraycounseling.com