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Two Reasons We Must ‘Burn The Ships’ In Our Past In Order To Claim Our Future

Two Reasons We Must 'Burn The Ships' In Our Past In Order To Claim Our FutureTwo Reasons We Must 'Burn The Ships' In Our Past In Order To Claim Our Future

  I recently read a story about Spanish explorer Hernan Cortes who, in 1519, set sail for Mexico with a total of 11 ships, 13 horses, 110 sailors, and 533 soldiers.He faced a population of five million indigenous people, which meant, the deck was slightly stacked against him as he approached land.

Previous expeditions had failed.But what Cortes did after landing was something seismic.He issued an order that turned this mission into an all-or-nothing proposition.He yelled out to his crew, Burn the ships!On his order, they set everything ablaze, watching their fleet burn before their eyes.

They had to burn everything that gave them an option for retreat, if they were going to lean-in and embrace the challenges of conquering new territory, of fighting an unknown enemy, of reaching out to lay hold of their uncertain destiny.

While the historical context of their pursuit can be debated, what I am learning about my own journey is how easy it is for me to keep one hand reaching forward into the future while tightly gripping things in my past.

As a therapist, I see the past as a necessary exploration to understand and heal so that we can successfully unhook from the powerful forces that forged an unhealthy, unbalanced, unclear identity within us. This freedom allows us to embrace a new identity, rooted and planted in the soil of our belovedness, firmly established in life-giving forces that lead to greater boldness, clarity, and strength for our future.

Like the children of Israel longed to return to slavery in Egypt, we too, have a tendency to go back to the familiar, to lean on an identity of victimization, of anger, of brokenness that has defined us, but has never yielded the life of abundance for which we’ve longed.The past can be so easy to revisit, to distill, to own as our soul-self even though it has brought no healing, no relief, certainly no life.

What I know is that at some point in our lives, each of us must make the choice —to burn the ships of our past identity in order to reach forward and cultivate our new identity in Christ, or to stay chained to our past, its influences, and heartaches and continue to live out of its power and its pain.

Here are two reasons we need to burn the ships of our past identity and claim the destiny God has for us.

You cannot bring the old into the new.

You cannot pour new wine into old wineskins.You cannot bring Egypt into the Promised Land —its beliefs, traditions, its ways.It will contaminate you.Infiltrate you.Overtake you, every time.The only way to move into and claim your new country, your new identity as God’s Beloved, healed, whole, complete, is to release all that has held you captive, all that has defined you, writing both unholy and unkind words over your life. You cannot build a new, healthy identity on an old foundation that is cracked and crumbling.

2 Cor 5:17-18 (NIV)tells us, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

You have an idea what the new country looks like. Still, you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, it’s joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.

Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. _Henri Nouwen – "The Inner Voice of Love"

You can burn the ships of your past.You can let go of the identity that has broken you, and brought you to this place.Right here, right now, lean forward and grab hold of the truth of your authentic self, as one who is held and loved by God.Claim compassion, kindness, truth, as your identity instead of condemnation, deception, and destruction.Claim your freedom —today.

Your past identity says:

I’m broken

I’m bad

I’m not enough

God cannot love someone like me

Others will leave me

I’m not worthy of love

Your present identity says, because of Christ:

I’m healing

I am worthy

I am enough

I am loved with an eternal love

God will never leave me

I am God’s Beloved and I am worthy of love

Burn the ships!The old country is not an option.The new country is right before your eyes.And what it has to offer you is worth it!

To read more about identity, read "How To Walk Away From Your Pain and Embrace  a Life of Peace!"

You Cannot Claim Your Destiny As Long As Plan B Is An Option

You survived your childhood, you did.You were a brave little thing. No one should have experienced, endured, or overcome so many obstacles, much less scaled the mountainous terrain that stood in your way.You made it.

But the survival skills you needed in your childhood are hurting, limiting, even destroying your life and relationships today as an adult.They squeeze you from the inside out.Suffocate any hope of something different, something new, something boldly healthy.

As long as Plan B is an option, you will always willfully linger.Subtly stagnate.Hesitation will cover each step you take and you will never gain traction, heart-momentum, or passionate vision for your healing or your future.

You must burn the ships.You must stop looking back, longingly, to the old city like Lot’s wife did.It will winnow away any hope of conquering, of claiming this new life and this new land that is yours to possess. It will leave you as dust.

Genesis 19:26 (NIV) warns, But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

Your new country, your new identity is full of hope, freedom, and a future.Your relationships are safe, solid, and strong because your identity is the very same.Fear no longer holds you captive.Shame no longer calls you by name.

Your name is Beloved.Remember that —Beloved.You indeed are worthy, enough, safe, complete, whole, and prized.This is your identity and your destiny.

Burn the ships!Your future awaits you!

 


About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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How I Stopped Faking It and Finally Got Real with God

How I Stopped Faking It and Finally Got Real with God

For most of my life the notion of victorious Christian living felt like a heavy weight against my chest. A trap. A burden. I would read about living victoriously, I heard more sermons that I could count on the topic, but to be honest, it always felt like a trick question, an undoable task, something I’d have to work for but really could never earn.

I knew I was supposed to see God as gracious and compassionate, the loving grandfather-image with long white robe gathering the children around, but it seemed strangely ironic that I would have to work so hard to experience a little bit of His compassion and mercy.

Everyone else seemed to be living the joy-filled Christian life. They were experiencing abundance in their Christian walk that I knew nothing of. I could tell something was off, but I had no idea how to achieve this life of faith except to work for it.

Performance became a drug. Somehow I felt powerful to control and claim my worth. It was an insatiable drive, an all-encompassing need to achieve, to earn, to prove myself in His presence. I didn’t realize until much later that performing took me farther away from His presence than I could ever imagine. It cost me the thing I longed for most – my relationship with God.

Somewhere in my incessant doing, as my wheels of striving became increasingly unhinged, I ultimately came to the end of my addiction. It was there I reached out for something different. I embraced some new principles that ultimately transformed my relationship with God. So here they are:

End My Relationship With “Shoulds,” “Ought-Tos” and “Musts"

For so long I felt horrific shame when I didn’t feel a sense of euphoria or joy at the thought of spending time with God. Good Christians should long to spend time with God, I thought. I ought to spend time with Him, I reasoned, though many times my heart wasn’t in it.

I chose instead to begin building my relationship with God on meaning. I got honest with myself and honest with God. I stopped pretending and started living authentically with Him. I stopped doing all the things I felt compelled to do but never really wanted to do. I stopped beating myself up for not being consistent with my quiet time.

From then on, I freed myself to simply enjoy being with Him. I discovered how to find meaning in the moments of His presence with no agenda, no lists, or excuses. In areas and moments I lacked desire, I simply prayed for God to fill me with His desire. I allowed myself to experience Him in ways that were meaningful to me, even if foreign at times. Whether a walk with Him through nature, a lovely melody of worship that echoed somewhere deep in my heart spaces, or whether it was sitting with Him as He healed old wounds that had been hidden by years of layered callouses, for the first time I allowed His presence to simply wash over me, and refresh me. I remembered that He loved me before I ever knew how to love Him.

Be Intentional with Gratitude

Brennan Manning describes gratitude this way:

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust — not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God.

I had grappled with gratitude for so long. It seemed I was always waiting to get to the other side of life’s trials to acknowledge His provision and His blessing in my life. I was holding my breath for this season of striving to pass to see the miracle, to give thanks, and to offer appreciation.

Lately I’ve begun to realize the power of gratitude in every moment on my journey. Whether in victory or in defeat, gratitude allows me to welcome all experiences into the fabric of my story and cultivate meaning from every encounter. Instead of seeing God as capricious and tempermental, I see Him now as a loving Father, intimately connected with every victory, every defeat, and equally tender and caring in every moment of my life. For now, the intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart.

[clickToTweet tweet="The intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart. " quote="The intentionality of gratitude means His presence is alive and thriving in my heart."]

Be Willing to Apologize – to Myself and to God

When I first stepped back from all of the ought-tos and musts and I discovered a quieting of some pressured spaces inside, I began to notice noisy thoughts flying wildly through my mind. These thoughts were cruel and punishing, relentless and terrible. These thoughts were about me, about everything I wasn’t, and nothing I could ever become. And for most of my life, I not only believed those thoughts, I also wholeheartedly believed those were the Father’s thoughts towards me.

You’ll never be good enough. You can’t get anything right. You’ll never be worthy, much less loved.

To be honest, I was bullying myself in a way that I would never allow another to be bullied.

It turns out I was also blaming God for how miserable I felt. I was insecure when I saw His favor in other people’s lives. I remained anxious, disconnected, and resentful because that somehow felt safer than allowing others to see how I really felt about God. I needed to keep my painful reality, my faulty faith hidden from the world, from myself, and from God.

When I began to risk getting honest and exposing the reality of my broken and bandaged self, I was freed from the prison of maintaining a crumbling façade. I was freed to apologize to myself and to God for my errant cruelty. I could stop pretending, performing, and perfecting, and get back to the basics of being, of living, of loving— myself and God. I could let go of what I thought a good Christian was because what I realized was that I didn’t need to be a good Christian as much as I needed to have a passionate connection with my Father.

I cannot do it on my own. I rest in His faithful provision to complete the work He has started, knowing that His work in my life is the ultimate gift of love.

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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When You're Stranded On The Side Of The Road With No Help In Sight

It was an earlier night than usual.  Thankful to be leaving the office ahead of schedule, I began to pull down the driveway and head for home.  I still had a few minutes before the sun set.  It was a warm, yet lovely evening.

 

I hadn't driven more than a few feet when I realized something was wrong.  Instinctively I stopped, got out, and began to walk around my SUV.  When I rounded the back corner I noticed it - a flat tire.

 

It wasn't just a little low on air, it was completely flat. 

 

Weird, I thought.  I just drove back from lunch a few hours ago and everything was fine. Now what?

 

I reached for my phone and dialed.  As soon as my husband answered and learned of my distress, he was on his way.  When he arrived, he immediately shined his lights on my car so he could see to change the flat tire.

 

He began to assemble his tools and went to work as the light around us quickly dimmed.  He not only changed the tire, he gently walked me step by step through the process, teaching me how to change one, if I were ever in a situation where I needed to.

 

As the sun finally slid beneath the horizon and the beautiful countryside went dark, we finished up, put on the spare tire, and headed home.  He followed me the entire drive home through the winding country roads with their steep embankments.  The light from his car was never far behind.  What care and protection I felt in that moment.

 

The next day as I thought through the events of the night before, I suddenly realized, Isn't that the way God is with me?  Isn't He always ready to rescue me in my mess, in my need, in my despair?

 

The moment I call, He doesn't put me on hold, He doesn't ignore my plea.  He is always present, always available, always ready to meet me wherever I am, whatever my need.

 

2 Chronicles 16:9 (NKJV) reminds me that, The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

 

He is ever-present for any of His children.  He loves us.  He waits for opportunities to care for us in the needful moments of our lives, to show Himself strong on our behalf.  There is something so comforting and reassuring about resting in someone's strength.  About exhaling our weakness and surrendering the weight of our world to someone utterly powerful, and willful, someone muscular, safe, and strong.  He is strong.

 

I love that whenever He comes, He not only comes with strength, He also shines His light brightly wherever He goes, whether He shines it on my circumstances, whether He shines it on my path, or into my heart.  His light is ever-present to reveal my pain, to heal my dulled, deep wounds, and to remove my darkest shame. 

 

John 1:5 (NIV) reminds me that, The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

 

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Isaiah 58:8 (NIV) adds, Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

 

His light shines into each moment as He guides me, teaches me, grows me up to be more and more like Him.  He never leaves me stranded.  He never leaves me helpless and unsure.  He graciously and lovingly instructs me so that I can be prepared for whatever purpose He is calling me.

 

I love the end of Isaiah 58:8, when He says, the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Just like my husband following behind me down those dark and winding roads, God, too will always be shining His light, His glory, His protection from behind. 

 

If you feel today that God has lost sight of you, that He's left you stranded and alone, He is waiting.  He is present with you.  He sees you in your distress.  He stands there waiting for you.  You can pick up the phone and call.  He ran to my rescue, He will run to your rescue, too.  He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core.

 

[clickToTweet tweet="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core." quote="He will bind up what is broken and heal what seems wounded to the core."]

 

Have you called out to Him?  Perhaps today is the day you ask Him to come save you from your sin, your pain, your hopelessness.  Perhaps there is a struggle so dark and heavy, you feel like it just might swallow you whole. 

 

Here's one thing I know - even when you're stranded on the side of the road and it feels like there's no hope in sight, your healing is just a simple call away.

 

How has God rescued you in your distress?  How has He shined His light and followed you out of a dark place?  I'd love to hear!

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.


About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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