We all need moments, seasons, where we can open our soul-windows, pull back the curtains, and clear out what has grown cluttered, dim, and down-right dirty. Here is my guide to emotional spring-cleaning that will lighten your load, fill your tank, and maximize your wellbeing.
Viewing entries tagged
gratitude
The busyness of the holidays is over.
The tornado that has been swirling since October is beginning to dissipate and I feel like I might just be able to come up for air. Exhale —inhale.
New endings and new beginnings. Just like that.
I exhale reflections of times past, opportunities seized and opportunities lost. Perhaps. There are milestones and gravestones. I measure the beautiful people and experiences that have meandered across my cobbled little path on my journey and give thanks.
I inhale new hope (which at times is so hard), as well as new visions. More than anything I am learning to inhale what matters more to me than anything —and that is the gift of presence.
Years ago I read this quote by Henri Nouwen that speaks so powerfully to my own ideals and selfish agendas:
“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.”
I recognize the ministry of presence, as Nouwen describes, is not about being social. It is about being intentional. Intentional with what matters most to God —His children. In the truest sense, one cannot truly experience the presence of another until he has experienced the presence of himself (and survived). And one cannot —cannotexperience the full presence of himself unless he has encountered and embraced the Presence of Abba, Father. God. Through His Son Jesus Christ.
So as you move into this new year, as you exhale what has been and inhale what will be, skip the lists, forgo the agenda. Focus instead on the ministry of presence, and watch the transformation that unfolds.
Make time to encounter God each day.
I know, I know. Sounds so simple. Yet when was the last time you were fully present with God? When did you last silence the noise of the world and still the clamoring of your heart to simply BE in the Presence of God? To settle in and experience your belovedness. Nothing else. Just your belovedness.
Maybe this is already a daily practice for you, maybe it sounds completely foreign. I encourage you this year to make the ministry of Presence first and foremost with your Father. Visit with Him. Sit in solitude with Him. Breathe deeply in His Presence. Pour your heart out to Him, read about Him in His Word.
He will transform you. His Word says it and we can know it is true. We will find nothing that fills our souls, nothing that completes us, or gives us the meaning we are searching for other than the One who created us. Breathed His life into us. Called us His own. Invite Him into your heart today. Invite Him into your schedule this year.
Carve out time to nourish your soul.
We know scientifically that good self-care reduces stress, lowers anxiety and depression. But caring for our souls takes us on a lifelong journey of healing, of growth, of self-discovery.
Since we are God’s creation and He thought what He created was good, shouldn’t we spend time getting to know ourselves —our physical and emotional identities, our ways of experiencing the world around us, our passions and purpose? Shouldn’t we better understand why we think, feel, and engage the way we do so that we can continue on our healing journeys and allow God to transform those areas of our heart?
Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.
_ Author Unknown
Soul-care is not selfish. It isn’t. And it isn’t self-centered. It is being rooted and planted in Christ, and becoming intentional to grow a solid, strong identity so that we can give ourselves fully to those He has called us to serve. And love. That is the ministry of presence.
Carve out time to have a coffee and breathe. Settle into your body. Feel the feelings that have become buried or discarded throughout the day. Name your feelings. Be present with them. Understand them. Talk yourself through them. Release them to the Father.
Be intentional about nurturing your relationships.
As Nouwen says, our desires tend to focus on tasks, agendas, schedules. They seem so safe. At times the ministry of presence with others can feel unsafe. Humans are broken and our brokenness makes the terrain of relationships potentially messy.
Yet the ministry of presence is precisely what God calls each of us to embrace. No one will remember the size of your bank account. They won’t remember the award you won at work. They will remember being with you and experiencing the beauty, the love, the life and everything in between with you. They will remember the experience of His presence pouring through you. Love. God’s love.
So as I enter these first few moments of the new year, this is my focus:
Exhale—My disappointments . My failures. My sorrows. Inhale— God’s love, His delight, His compassion.
Exhale —My agenda, my plans, my desires. Inhale —the ministry of presence with God, with myself, with others.
Exhale —Discouragement, doubt, comparison. Inhale —hope, contentment, gratitude.
And gratitude brings with it joy. Joy tells us that while things are going haywire in this world, God is in control. Joy tells us that in the face of the world’s definition of success, we are enough. Joy finds itself alive when our hearts are most settled in the Father’s presence.
That is where I want to be in 2019 —settled in His presence.
How about you?
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
I’ve never seen barns so full while hearts are so empty.Never believed one could have everything and nothing at the same time.Yet they do.We do.
Scarcity is all around us.In the middle of a field of crops so big and wide and deep, souls everywhere are starving, empty, hopeless.
I see it in our schools.I see it in our communities.I see it in our homes.
Hearts that scream,
I want…
I need…
I deserve…
Only the best…
Give me now…
We have so much, yet we are filled so little.Like God’s telling us time and again that the only thing worth filling our souls with is the infinite presence of His love.The gift of Himself.
Most of us are less concerned with His presence and more concerned with His presents.
We are.We have become entitled. And it’s not just our kids.We grownups want to be happy, we are driven to be happy. We think the phrase, ‘happiness is next to Godliness’ is somewhere in the Bible and we settle our hearts on a never-ending claim to possess it, meanwhile throwing out any notion of searching for, leaning in, clinging on, to the One thing that will speak to us the truth .His truth.His directions for how we should live, love, lead, and work.
We merely cry out for Him to bless our mess.
And we wonder why our hearts are empty.We wonder why we don’t experience the abundance we desire so much.
Beloved, there is a difference between knowing who Christ is in our heads and knowing who He is as the Savior and Lord of our hearts.Do we even know what Lordship means?Do our kids?
We want the kinship without the Kingship.The rights of salvation without the responsibility of salvation.The life of entitlement without the way of the cross.
We live lives of abundance, but our hearts are often barren, scarce.Entitlement robs us of faith and leaves us emptied of soul and spirit.
Here are three ways we can reject entitlement in our hearts and our homes, and fill our lives with hope, abundance, and most of all peace.
Discipline our minds with truth.
We must learn to filter the thoughts in our minds that tell us lies about who we are or what we deserve.Minds filled with truth recognize our pitiful position as well as our desperate need for our Father.Minds filled with truth leave us both humbled and grateful for every good gift that comes our way.
The truth is,
I want, but I don’t need…
I need, but I can trust His hand and His timing…
I don’t deserve anything but eternal separation from God…
Only my best, is what I desire to give God and give others…
My soul waits upon the Lord.He is faithful…
2 Cor 10:5 (NIV) tells us that, We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Phil 4:8 (NIV) adds, Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
To read more about what will fill us, read, The Only Remedy For the Hole Inside Our Hearts!
Fuel our destiny with responsibility.
We have robbed our children of their God-given destiny because, in our efforts to remove their struggle, we have removed their responsibility.
We all need responsibility.Personal responsibility.We need to understand directly the consequences of our actions and feel the fire that is sparked when the work of our hands meets God’s cadence and divine destiny awakens in every cell of our being.
That, my friends, is exciting!Passion and purpose rarely strike like lightning out of nowhere.They are cultivated, nurtured, like the five virgins who carefully and wisely prepared their lamps for the Bridegroom to arrive. (Matt 25:1-13)
How are you nurturing your destiny?Are you sitting back, waiting for destiny to greet you at your door, are you blaming others for its seeming delay, or are you preparing for its arrival with hard work, faithfulness, diligence and perseverance?
Do whatever is in front of you today. Do it well. Give God your best and your destiny will be blessed and bountiful.
Col 3:23-24 (NIV) teaches, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Infuse our hearts with gratitude.
A grateful heart is an abundant heart.Hearts that grumble and complain are never happy.Eyes that envy and seek their own satisfaction are rarely ever satisfied.
Wherever you are today, you can claim abundance.Want to be full?Start by listing the things for which you are grateful.Want to be rich?Start by thanking God for His gracious blessings in your life.
Do it and see what happens.
1 Thess 5:18 (NIV) encourages us to, Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
I see God reclaiming His people.I see Him pouring Himself in us and through us.I see us becoming His hands and feet to the world around us right where we are, doing His will with whatever and whoever is in front of us.I see chains being broken and lives being changed.Hearts redeemed.
I see a storehouse filled to overflowing with God’s spirit.I see barns and businesses, homes and hopes, alive, awakened…abundant.I see His presence moving in and through us like never before.
Will you believe it with me?Will you cast aside entitlement?Will you join me in rediscovering the Biblical mindset of truth, responsibility, and gratitude? Will you help pass it down to our children?
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
It was a routine procedure. Nothing to worry about.
The morning my mother went into the hospital for a heart cath procedure, everything was fairly typical. We prayed on my way to work. I spoke with my dad shortly afterwards. Nothing atypical. Nothing unusual.
She had come through fine and was in recovery. Dad was upbeat and calm. She would be released a little later, he offered.
So after my next session, when I checked my phone, I noticed a text from my husband. It said simply, Call me.
Stepping outside, I called him to find out that just a few minutes after my phone call with Dad, something had gone wrong. Dad had called Mark in a full panic, sobbing with worry for Mom.
Mark was out the door instantly, talking with Dad and calming him down as he drove to the hospital. He called the pastor, my aunt and my brother. Informed them of the circumstances.
Mom had started passing out. Several times. The final time the nurses immediately rushed her to the CCU and tried to get her stabilized.
I felt helpless. Though I couldn’t get to her, my heart and my mind reeled. My schedule was completely full and there was no way to cancel my clients. I simply prayed.
Over the next several hours her condition improved and she was able to go home the next day. What a blessing. A sacred exhale.
It doesn’t always work that way, though. Life doesn’t always give us the desired ending. The miracle. The answered prayer. It doesn’t.
So how can we hold onto hope, how can we muster any shred of gratitude or thanksgiving when our world has been torn apart, when the unthinkable happens?
Whether you have lost a loved one to cancer or divorce, whether you are sinking beneath the weight of depression, loneliness, or heartache, here are two ways to find thanksgiving in the middle of your pain.
Rest In His Faithfulness
The Lord knows where you are. He knows what you have endured. He sees your pain and weeps with you over your sorrow.
Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV) tells us, The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Psalm 147:3 (NIV) shares, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV) also encourages, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
He doesn’t want you to hide your pain. Nor does He want you to pretend your brokenness away.
He wants you to be honest, acknowledge your deepest wounds, and reach out for help in your season of grief. Don’t walk this season alone.
We are all in the journey together. We need each other. We need to walk with and comfort each other right where we are. We are the hands and feet of Christ to the hurting. We are wounded healers, if we choose to be.
Acknowledge the Small Things
Find ways, small ways, to be thankful. Even in your grief, look around to notice goodness around you. As needful as it is to acknowledge your pain, it is as needful to acknowledge God’s goodness.
Our healing is stalled when we focus solely on our loss, our sorrow. Find something, anything, for which you can offer thanks. It will move you forward through your pain and slowly give you hope for a new day. A new season. Healing.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV) tells us to, Rejoice always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Even in hard times, we can trust the character of God. Even when the circumstances make no sense. We give thanks that God is good. He is not evil. He is not arbitrary. God has a reason for everything He does, whether we can understand it in the moment, or not.
Henri Nouwen beautifully describes,
Perhaps nothing helps us make the movement from our little selves to a larger world than remembering God in gratitude.
Such a perspective puts God in view in all of life, not just in the moment we set aside for worship or spiritual disciplines.
Not just in the moment when life seems easy.
It can challenge every ounce of our being, yet walking through this season with a balance of honesty, authenticityandgratitude will yield a heart healed, a quiet mind, and the beauty of hope for the seasons to come.
Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving! With love from my heart to yours.
Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God. _Henri Nouwen
About This Community
Don't we all want a little peace? My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships. Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!
About Peace for a Lifetime
In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!
Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.
Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891
"Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul." _Henry Ward BeecherThe fact that we had made it meant so much.
Our first Thanksgiving together was a miracle of sorts. This fragile, blended family had endured so much in such a short amount of time, many could have fairly reckoned we might not make i
Have you ever stood in the shadow of a mountain and felt so small? Are there days you feel like David holding a handful of pebbles as Goliath towers in the distance, echoing impossibility and certain defeat?
I blink and it is Easter. I blink again and it is fall.Time passes so quickly, quicker by the year perhaps. What happened to the time? Where did it disappear?