8 Keys To a Healthy Relationship With Your Body

The mirror doesn’t lie…or does it?

More accurately, it is the internal eyes of the one looking in the mirror that can distort, shame, and yes lie, negatively shaping the way we see ourselves, our bodies, and our beauty. Our thoughts are powerful to define what we believe about ourselves. Our value. Our worth. Our belovedness.

We tell ourselves…

·     My body is shameful.

·     No one could love me as I am.

·      I am a failure.

·      I do not deserve love.

·     If I could just drop 15 lbs, then I would be happy.

·     Why bother?

Many of us internalize messages starting at a young age that will either lead to a positive or negative body image. We watch our parents, we absorb the words they speak, the attitudes they hold, the thoughts they believe about themselves and others.  We listen to peers at school, at play. Their words seep into the deepest places inside and adhere themselves to our souls, vastly impacting the way we see ourselves and our bodies.

Social media certainly doesn’t help. One CNN article described the impact of being exposed to more and more images of unattainable beauty, thanks to social networking: ‘Before social networks, we mostly had images of impossibly perfect celebrities. We would pass these images on billboards, watch them on TV, flip through them in magazines, but we weren't sitting around staring at them for hours every day.’

It’s not only the exposure to these images that is damaging. It’s our interaction with them—the pressure we place on having the perfect profile pictures, the comparisons we make about every image we see, and the dangers of the constant scrutiny of our own and others’ bodies—that has the greatest negative impact on our wellbeing. 

Having a healthy body image is an important part of our emotional wellbeing. It is also equally important for eating disorders prevention in ourselves and in our kids.  We will pass down to them the attitudes, beliefs, and distortions we hold about our own bodies. They will see, they will hear how we talk about other peoples’ bodies and will define themselves by the same standards.

The Bible commands us to, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’  yet how do we love anyone in our lives if we hate ourselves, if we shame our bodies, and demean His very creation?  We cannot. No. We cannot.

Here are 8 ways you can start TODAY to turn negative body thoughts into positive body image. The more you practice these new thought patterns, the better you will feel about who you are and the body God gave you.

1.    Appreciate the things your body does for you.

Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams. Your body allows you to engage in God’s purposes for your life. Your body was beautifully designed by an amazing Creator.  Instead of focusing on the negative qualities or attributes you don’t like, remind yourself of all of the gifts your body gives you—running, dancing, working, breathing, laughing, dreaming, praying. 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Psalm 139:14(NIV)

2.    Create a list of attributes you like about yourself.

Take some time to reflect on physical, emotional, and spiritual attributes—things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like. Write them down. Read your list often.  Try to find things you can add to it as you become aware of more things to like about yourself.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.Ephesians 2:10(NIV)

3.  Remember that real beauty is not simply skin-deep.

Beauty is a state of the mind and heart, not a state of your body. CLICK TO TWEET The most beautiful people I know are people who know their belovedness—who live, who love, who give the gifts of acceptance and kindness they have already received. We can cultivate a heart and a life that exudes the love of Christ. CLICK TO TWEETWe are powerful to become compassion-warriors and grace-givers to the people we encounter.  CLICK TO TWEET

But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.’ 1 Samuel 16:7(NIV)

4.  Stop looking for validation from others.

When we find ourselves craving validation about how we look from others, it becomes an insatiable addiction, never giving us the acceptance or belonging we truly desire and leaving us perpetually thirsty for more.  Instead, write down the things you long to hear most from others and begin to speak them to yourself.  When you feel the urge to ask for validation directly or indirectly, don’t. Remind yourself of what God thinks about you.  Speak the things to yourself that you long to hear most.  

Other people do not have the power to heal us. They are fighting their own battles, struggling with their own fears and wounds.  Only God and you hold the power to heal you.  CLICK TO TWEET

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14(NIV)

5.  Surround yourself with emotionally and spiritually healthy people.

We are always strengthened when we are around those who are mature, both spiritually and emotionally.  Others who have a healthy body image, who feel good about themselves, who know and live out their belovedness on a daily basis can help you stay focused on the values and qualities that are most important.  

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 (ESV)

From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.Ephesians 4:16 (ESV)

To equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:12 (ESV) 

6.  Become a critical viewer of social media.

Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body. Limit the amount of time you spend on social media. Create affirmations you can repeat when you see images or posts that discourage you about your worth or body image. Remind yourself of the truth of your value and worth.  You must keep yourself centered or social media will leave you spinning inside.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Phillipians 4:8(NIV)

7. Be kind to yourself.

Do something kind for yourself every day.  Ask yourself, How could I honor my body spiritually, emotionally, and physically today?  Find one activity, one habit, one moment you could implement something that would nurture healing and wholeness in your heart. Success won’t happen at once—it will happen in a million tiny moments we choose kindness over condemnation, healing over hatred, compassion over shame.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church… Ephesians 5:29(NIV)

8. Serve others.

Sometimes reaching out to other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.  Serving others helps take our mind off the enormity of our struggles and allows us to balance them with the needs and struggles of others. We become myopic when we exist in isolation, but when we serve, we can see Christ at work around us.  It fills a deep reservoir of grace inside us when we allow ourselves to be Christ to others who are hurting and in need.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13(NIV)

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38(NIV)

How are you nurturing your body image? 

 How are you walking in your belovedness, friend?  

What is one thing you could do today to develop a healthier relationship with your body?

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About Peace for a Lifetime

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Four Ways To Celebrate A Perfectly ImPerfect You

Perfect.  Such a nice word.  If only everything could be perfect, life would be much neater, cleaner somehow.

The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines the word “perfect” as being entirely without fault or defect.  Flawless.  Satisfying all requirements.  

Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

I spent so many years chasing that word, driven by that ideal.  To be without defect.  Flawless. I felt perhaps, that if I found this place called Perfect, that I would be free. I would arrive.  I could breathe.

I would tell myself—

If only I could be taller…thinner…smarter…funnier

If my waist wasn’t so big…my rear so flat…my thighs so flabby

If I could be the perfect wife…the perfect stepmom…the perfect friend…

…then I would arrive, then I would be accepted, then I would be worthy of love.

I never realized how much damage, how much destruction this one little word, perfect,could do.

Most of us struggle to live out an ideal of what we think life should be, of who we think we should be. We struggle to get up out of bed for another day with our lists, our expectations, our goals.  We set the bar so high, we could never attain.  Never achieve – anything but sheer exhaustion. Emptiness.  

Is this what God intended for us?  Is this the abundant life He promised?

The drive for perfection will always leave us scraping at the bottom of the barrel.  The pursuit of perfection will always leave us hopeless, drained, done.  

So how do we overcome the insidious pull toward perfection?  How do we find the abundance and peace we are so desperate for?

I have found four ways you can begin to celebrate the perfectly imperfect you - today.

Accept your imperfection.

Every time you find yourself starting to chase the rabbit-trail of ‘if-only’s,’ stop. You are powerful.  You have a choice.  

Begin to repeat instead:

I am …beautiful… right in this very moment.

I am …loved…right in this very moment.

I am …enough…right in this very moment.

I am …healing…right in this very moment.

I am …growing…right in this very moment.

Learning to accept all the parts and pieces of who we are and welcoming them inside our hearts instead of shaming them, is the beginning of freedom.  We cannot develop a loving relationship with ourselves as long as we hate ourselves. We must release hate for love to flourish.  For hearts to heal. CLICK TO TWEET For us to arrive at a place where we can look in the mirror with all of our dimples and dings, all of our scars and sagging skin (ugghhh), and celebrate them. Yes, celebrate them.

You are beautiful.  Yes, you.  Beautiful. CLICK TO TWEET

Release control.

Yes, as an historic perfectionist, I long for control.  I love control.  Control allows me to believe that I am somehow powerful to determine my destiny.  It creates an illusion that I can prove my worth. I feel a craving, a compulsion to hold everything within my domain.  Somewhere within me, though I can observe this madness, the control is there, right beneath the surface, calling out to me.

Release control. Submit to the messy.  Don’t hold things so tightly.  Breathe into the unknown.  Rest.  CLICK TO TWEET In surrendering your will, your need to claim, to own, to control, you can settle into the here and now.  Release the unknown to God.  You are safe.

Create a life of compassion.

The cycle of shame is the gasoline that fuels our perfectionistic tendencies.  I set unrealistic goals for myself.  I make unreasonable demands on myself.  At some point, I fail.  Though failure is a normal part of life, for the perfectionist, failure signals an immense implosion of shame.  Shame whispers my utter worthlessness.  It pulls me hopelessly into the undertow of condemnation. It compels me to yet once again, set the bar higher, to push harder in the drive to be freed from this shame, to feel for once – peace.

Just as peace can never coexist with shame, compassion can never coexist with condemnation. Compassion diffuses the weight of shame and allows us to stop the pattern of self-condemnation.  Perhaps this is why Romans 8:1 (NIV) details, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Perhaps God knows our tendency to strive, to shame, to cling to condemnation as a favored friend.

Compassion also means that we stop blaming others.  We can never stop being victimized until we are ready to stop being the victim.  We can never overcome oppression until we are ready to release our identity as the oppressed. Resist blame.  Come face to face with failure.  It cannot destroy you.  It doesn’t define you.  You are on a journey.  You are becoming. CLICK TO TWEET

Consume a diet of truth.

John 8:32  (NIV) says,Then you will know the truth andthetruth will set you free.  When we recognize the harsh, shaming, perfectionistic voice that hides deep inside our hearts, we can speak the truth to that voice.  We don’t have to succumb to its pressure. We don’t have to yield to its ways. 

We can claim our worth, our value in the midst of our imperfections.  We can admit the reality that everyone is broken —yes everyone. It is only God’s great and majestic love for us that sees beauty right in the middle of our humanity.   Our beauty never lies in perfection.  Our beauty lies in all of the broken pieces that no longer hold us hostage, that no longer keep us hidden and disguised.  Out of something broken God makes something beautiful.  As God shines His light, His love, His glory through the jagged and prismed pieces of our lives, He creates the most amazing works of art.  

If you have struggled with the word perfect, you are not alone.

Anna Quindlen, says, The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

You don’t have to stay chained to your lists, your expectations, your goals.  Exchange them for love, for freedom, for compassion, for truth.

Celebrate imperfection.  Release control.  Create a life of compassion.  Consume a diet of truth.

Then you will be able to ask yourself:

How can I honor my body today?

What does my soul need today?

How can I nurture my spirit today?

How can I love others well today?

This is what God desires for you.  Discovering and becoming who God created you to be so that you can serve a world in need. Show them love.  Show them Christ.

You won’t come up dry. You won’t be scraping the bottom of the barrel.  You will experience fullness, abundance.  You will know peace.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

My Prayer for 2019 – How To Hope For Things That Feel Hopeless

It was that dreaded sound —the sound of hope giving way to defeat. The ache right in the center of your chest when a dream flies away before your eyes and no amount of chasing can bring it back within your grasp.  

Sometimes it is easier to give up hope than to hold on to something that brings with it such pain and uncertainty.  It seems easier to let it go, to let life go and accept defeat.  We wonder why we hope anyway?  But at times when hope seems like a cruel joke meant to terrorize the tender shoots of vision, of vulnerability, of boldness struggling to find some light, hope reminds me that there is no cruelty here.  The gift of hope becomes rain poured over cracked, broken dreams, that somehow forces life to break through the soil and find their way towards the sun.

Hope is an anchor

Hope keeps me anchored and rooted, not to my dreams, but to Him.  Though my dreams can be uncertain and faithful, He alone is faithful.  The goals for my life cannot provide peace or strength or sustenance on this sometimes desolate journey.  Only God can provide any semblance of peace. Strength. 

Hope alone calms me, calls me, reminds me of my core identity as Lisa, the Beloved of her Father. Hope holds all things —my tears, my sorrows, my deepest cravings for things I feel I cannot live without. Hope holds my past, my present, and my future.  

So when your hope has run dry, when the mountain ahead seems insurmountable, go ahead, jump in the game, climb on His back.  He’s got this big old thing called life.  Yeah, He’s got it right in the palm of his hands.

I’ve tried it so many times without Him.  There have been days that I sat and told Him, yes I looked Him right in the eyes and told Him I wanted to do things my way.  But my way has always led me right back here.  Usually exhausted.  Defeated. Hope-less.

So where is there left to run to?  I’m either all-in this “hope thing” or I’m all-out.  And I’ve got to be in.  

The truth is, none of us knows what lies ahead.  We don’t know if or when we’re going to see the tiny visions we’ve carried for so long in our hearts burst forth and see the light of day.  We don’t.  In this life there are no guarantees.  Like my daddy used to tell me, the only thing that’s guaranteed is death and taxes.  I didn’t know then how right he was.

Hope would be easier to hold if it had a date on our calendar or a place on the map.  Easier to believe if someone whispered the answer in your ears. But hope isn’t a location, I’ve come to learn the hard way. Hope isn’t a destination —Hope is a person.  

We can keep telling ourselves that hope will come tomorrow, or we can start living with Hope today. Choosing Hope right here, right now. Wherever you are.  Whatever you face.

Choosing Hope

What are you choosing today? Are you choosing doubt, despair, fear, paralysis?  Are you choosing isolation, loneliness?

Or are you choosing Hope? Will you leave behind the cynical voice inside your head that tells you that nothing good happens for you?  Will you uncross the arms of distance that keeps you safe from stepping into your future and taking the risk of going all-in —no safety net underneath you, no guarantees for success?  

Will you open your heart and remember that Hope isn’t some elusive thing out there.  Hope is right here —inside your heart.  Hope is the place you start from, not the place you end. Hope hopes —in all things, for all things.  Because Hope hung on a cross and died for our wounds, our transgressions, our most broken places….Hope endures, comes alive, is a promise for all of us.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Yeah, I heard that dreaded sound.  I felt that familiar ache in my chest. And I chose Hope anyway.

What will you choose?

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About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

When We’re Searching For Purpose In Every Season of Our Lives

My birthday’s coming. It’s right around the bend.  

My husband threw me this beautiful shindig to honor the occasion.On a perfect late summer evening with the perfect sky, he gathered my favorite people along with some beautiful music and food, to help celebrate.

Fifty is a big birthday.A hallmark, they say.

One of those moments that causes you to pause and re-evaluate everything – the beginning from the ending, to determine where you are in the middle of it all and what it all means anyway.

Birthdays are markers of purpose, marking more than just the passing of time, but marking the quality of time, whispering in our ears if we’ve lived well, walked well, stayed close to the side of the One who has called us and is guiding our journey.

I believe birthdays are like the days leading up to New Year’s Day.They are times to reflect, to be thankful, to heal, to dream, to cast new visions, and to open ourselves to the blowing wind of the Holy Spirit in order to measure our steps and appoint our days.

This birthday has been particularly challenging.The number itself means little.I’m proud of the fifty years I’ve traversed this meager little corner of the universe.

What’s been particularly difficult has been the pressure from external voices around me.I keep hearing people describe being 50 yrs old like the best is over, like life is winding down, like I am now living the denouement of my story.Somehow I’m supposed to be settling in, relaxing, surrendering as I meander quietly into the sunset.

That’s what gets all over my wiry, 5ft 7inches of grit-and-girl self.

This birthday as I see it, is a beautiful gift of humility and gratitude, for the older I get the more I realize my story is more about the people God has miraculously infused to teach me, encourage me, to build me for the work to which I am called today. These are the heroes of grace, who willingly poured themselves into my life to befriend, to accept, to make a difference.

So as I stand here on the eve of this birthday season, I need to declare —I’m not done.

God is still at work in my life.The story of my life is not yet finished.I have no need of a beguiling stallion to ride me off into the sunset.

Moving in the direction of healing will always be the cornerstone of my life.And God’s healing doesn’t come with an expiration date.His purpose doesn’t end with a number.It doesn’t.

If you are struggling with purpose today, here are a few things I’m discovering about God’s purpose for my life through the seasons, even at fifty years old!

When we are seeking Him, His purposes are being accomplished in our lives

I used to live feeling the weight of the world on my shoulder.I was young and naïve, believing that I had to work, to strive, to do in order to accomplish His purposes for my life.

The older I’ve become, I’m learning that God never intended that I carry such a heavy weight.Jesus says to take His yoke, that His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

My job is to walk by His side, to follow in His steps, to move in the direction of Him.He accomplishes the rest.Though I can’t know what that will look like, can’t predict the end result, I can rest knowing that, The one who calls [us] is faithful, and he will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24,NIV)

Philippians 2:13(NIV) adds, For it is God who works in [us] to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

What peace, what relief!His purposes for me are not dependent on me, but on Him, and we can trust Him because He is faithful and He will do it.He is doing it.Rest. Trust Him today.

We can trust His purposes for us are good

I spent a huge part of my twenties believing that God was playing a trick on me, trying to dupe me out of His blessing, making His will like a corn maze that never had an ending, but always left me lost and in a state of perpetual confusion.

Growing to know Him, His character, His heart towards me as His Beloved, I now know His plans and purposes for me are good.He loves His children.His desire to bless us, to give us a hope and a future is sure.

Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) says, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Do you believe God is trustworthy today?Do you believe in your heart that His plans for you are good? If not, what stands in your way?

When we look at God, we will either see our wounds or we will see Him.Our scars or His beauty.Our cynicism or His faithfulness.

What do you see?

His purpose for us is always to pursue holy

We live in a culture that tells us constantly that God has BIG things for us, that our greatest dreams are right at our fingertips.I just don’t know that I buy it anymore.Or want it, for that matter.I can’t find it in Scripture.

At times I’ve fallen victim to believing God’s purpose involves a stadium, a book tour, my name in lights.That is seldom His desire.His desire for each of us is simple.Pursue holy right where we are.Embrace holy.Become holy.

Joshua 24:15(NIV) states that we will each have to make a choice, saying, But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

In 2 Timothy 1:9(NIV), Timothy describes God’s calling, He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.

Micah 6:8(NIV) echoes this by saying, He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humblywith your God.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, are you pursuing holy?Do you wake up in the morning with the heartbeat to live and serve the Lord?Do you make it your aim to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly?

It’s really that simple.

What has God given you to do today?  Do it. Do it with all of your heart.

We don’t have to wait until we’re fifty, sixty, or even seventy years old to discover His purpose.We can live it right in this moment.

Turning fifty is a blessing.I know I’m not done. I know God’s not done.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store for each of us.Whatever it is, I know it is good, because He is good. Yes, good.

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About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Two Reasons We Must ‘Burn The Ships’ In Our Past In Order To Claim Our Future

  I recently read a story about Spanish explorer Hernan Cortes who, in 1519, set sail for Mexico with a total of 11 ships, 13 horses, 110 sailors, and 533 soldiers.He faced a population of five million indigenous people, which meant, the deck was slightly stacked against him as he approached land.

Previous expeditions had failed.But what Cortes did after landing was something seismic.He issued an order that turned this mission into an all-or-nothing proposition.He yelled out to his crew, Burn the ships!On his order, they set everything ablaze, watching their fleet burn before their eyes.

They had to burn everything that gave them an option for retreat, if they were going to lean-in and embrace the challenges of conquering new territory, of fighting an unknown enemy, of reaching out to lay hold of their uncertain destiny.

While the historical context of their pursuit can be debated, what I am learning about my own journey is how easy it is for me to keep one hand reaching forward into the future while tightly gripping things in my past.

As a therapist, I see the past as a necessary exploration to understand and heal so that we can successfully unhook from the powerful forces that forged an unhealthy, unbalanced, unclear identity within us. This freedom allows us to embrace a new identity, rooted and planted in the soil of our belovedness, firmly established in life-giving forces that lead to greater boldness, clarity, and strength for our future.

Like the children of Israel longed to return to slavery in Egypt, we too, have a tendency to go back to the familiar, to lean on an identity of victimization, of anger, of brokenness that has defined us, but has never yielded the life of abundance for which we’ve longed.The past can be so easy to revisit, to distill, to own as our soul-self even though it has brought no healing, no relief, certainly no life.

What I know is that at some point in our lives, each of us must make the choice —to burn the ships of our past identity in order to reach forward and cultivate our new identity in Christ, or to stay chained to our past, its influences, and heartaches and continue to live out of its power and its pain.

Here are two reasons we need to burn the ships of our past identity and claim the destiny God has for us.

You cannot bring the old into the new.

You cannot pour new wine into old wineskins.You cannot bring Egypt into the Promised Land —its beliefs, traditions, its ways.It will contaminate you.Infiltrate you.Overtake you, every time.The only way to move into and claim your new country, your new identity as God’s Beloved, healed, whole, complete, is to release all that has held you captive, all that has defined you, writing both unholy and unkind words over your life. You cannot build a new, healthy identity on an old foundation that is cracked and crumbling.

2 Cor 5:17-18 (NIV)tells us, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

You have an idea what the new country looks like. Still, you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, it’s joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.

Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. _Henri Nouwen – "The Inner Voice of Love"

You can burn the ships of your past.You can let go of the identity that has broken you, and brought you to this place.Right here, right now, lean forward and grab hold of the truth of your authentic self, as one who is held and loved by God.Claim compassion, kindness, truth, as your identity instead of condemnation, deception, and destruction.Claim your freedom —today.

Your past identity says:

I’m broken

I’m bad

I’m not enough

God cannot love someone like me

Others will leave me

I’m not worthy of love

Your present identity says, because of Christ:

I’m healing

I am worthy

I am enough

I am loved with an eternal love

God will never leave me

I am God’s Beloved and I am worthy of love

Burn the ships!The old country is not an option.The new country is right before your eyes.And what it has to offer you is worth it!

To read more about identity, read "How To Walk Away From Your Pain and Embrace  a Life of Peace!"

You Cannot Claim Your Destiny As Long As Plan B Is An Option

You survived your childhood, you did.You were a brave little thing. No one should have experienced, endured, or overcome so many obstacles, much less scaled the mountainous terrain that stood in your way.You made it.

But the survival skills you needed in your childhood are hurting, limiting, even destroying your life and relationships today as an adult.They squeeze you from the inside out.Suffocate any hope of something different, something new, something boldly healthy.

As long as Plan B is an option, you will always willfully linger.Subtly stagnate.Hesitation will cover each step you take and you will never gain traction, heart-momentum, or passionate vision for your healing or your future.

You must burn the ships.You must stop looking back, longingly, to the old city like Lot’s wife did.It will winnow away any hope of conquering, of claiming this new life and this new land that is yours to possess. It will leave you as dust.

Genesis 19:26 (NIV) warns, But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

Your new country, your new identity is full of hope, freedom, and a future.Your relationships are safe, solid, and strong because your identity is the very same.Fear no longer holds you captive.Shame no longer calls you by name.

Your name is Beloved.Remember that —Beloved.You indeed are worthy, enough, safe, complete, whole, and prized.This is your identity and your destiny.

Burn the ships!Your future awaits you!

---

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About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

What To Do When You Are Waiting For Your Life To Bloom

I waited every spring for the peonies to bloom.

Tracing the edge of an earlier autumn sun, I remember so carefully digging a home for them in the soil.

I waited, anticipating their gracious blooms.My heart was desperate for their beauty.Sometimes we need beauty to remind us that our journey has a purpose, that weeds won’t ultimately betray our pain, and that life will spring forth from the dust.

Each year I tended the soil, removed any weeds from their surroundings.I watched the greenish-red shoots as they shot up from the ground.And yes, the plants grew big, though year after year they yielded no blooms.

It’s as if the night brought no morning, and these heavy labor pains bore no grace, no fulfillment for this awful stirring in my soul.

Something inside me wanted to uproot these delicate, brave stems, to find the soil of validation and comfort for my meager plants to grow.I saw other bushes in the garden swell with blossoms and desired my fragile gifts to unfurl brightly and boldly.

The purposes that God plants in our heart sometimes feel barren and fruitless.It can feel painful to hold onto unseen and often unrealized dreams, to miss the watering of tender soul-roots or the birth of their expected harvest.

I am learning, sometimes slowly, sometimes with an ache in my step and a strain on my brow, to surrender my expectation for the harvest, to reclaim my steps beside the Master.Yielding to His ways, His timing, His process for this cynical and stubborn heart of mine, forces me to remember this sacred pilgrimage is not even in the tiniest way about me.

Just as I can never force or cajole tender blossoms from my peonies, I can never coerce or demand my own vision or destiny for my life.

God knew finding my destiny would pale in comparison to finding His presence.Exercising His joy in each and every moment.Pursuing holy.

Henri Nouwen describes, Joy and laughter are the gifts of living in the presence of God and trusting that tomorrow is not worth worrying about.

He knew I’d have the tendency to rush the miraculous, to manage this internal metamorphosis that is transforming me into His image.Perhaps that is why He so loving spoke to me,

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? (Matt 6:25-30, NIV)

He understood the most beautiful of nature’s gifts could not satisfy the eternal cravings in my heart.He gave me the one thing He knew would fill me, heal me, mold me, and complete me.He gave me Himself.Utterly and completely.Arms spread open wide.

Practicing His presence, I’m discovering He is enough.Period.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that the subtle surrender of our ways, our wants, our hopes and dreams, frees us to settle in and enjoy the surroundings.

And on that lovely, bright, spring morning when I stepped into my garden, I discovered the most brilliant, beautiful peonies had appeared right before my eyes.

When I least expected it.Right on time.

I wait every year for the peonies to bloom.

---

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

For Every Parent and Child Who Feels The Struggle of Being 'Raised Up'

A conversation for every parent and child who feels the struggle of being ‘raised up:’

I know it's hard.

You’ve come up in this wild, unwieldy age of technology. So many things coming at you at once and it all feels so necessary, so now.

I know it seems that life has always been this way but it hasn’t. There was a time when homework was done with a pencil and paper, and you had to memorize your multiplication tables because there wasn’t a calculator there at your fingertips.

I remember how a boy asked a girl if she liked him on a handwritten note with one check box for yes and one for no. There were no texts, no un-friending, no ghosting. Just a bashful smile, some awkward conversation, and giggling with your friends about how cute he was.

Somehow it seemed so much simpler then.

I feel so sad that relationships have been reduced to a machine and some pictures, that make or break your hearts depending on the mood of the day and who is popular or not.

I know technology was supposed to help me stay connected to you, yet how distant I feel from you. How many times I have longed to talk with you —really talk, and share stories, share hopes and dreams, but most importantly, share the faith that’s been the foundation of this life we’ve been building.

We’ve assumed you shared our faith. Assumed you felt it to the core just like we do. You see, nothing we have is ours, none of the blessings are anything other than lovely treasures from God. Like you.

Passing Down Our Legacy of Faith

Pretty Bible verses hang on our walls and we say a blessing before every meal, but looking back I think we relied too much on Sunday School and Wednesday night youth groups to grow you up spiritually. And that was our job.

I wish I had taken more time to shut off the tv and the phone, wish we’d sat down —just you and me— to study the Bible with you, pray with you, teach you what we believe and why we believe it. To teach you that God loves you and sent His Son to die on the cross for you. Teach you what being a Christ-follower means —really means. To show you what taking up your cross and following Him looks like.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 (NIV) states, And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

‘Cause there is so much pressure on you to be like everyone else and do like everyone else. And when they tell you it’s okay as long as you’re in love, I want you to know the truth. I want it buried in the deepest part of your heart so on that day, you rise up like that strong one I know you are and say, No, that’s not who I am.I am the Beloved and He has so much more for me than that.

I want you to know and understand that though the world will tell you, child, that you can decide what is right and wrong, and that you can pick and choose your beliefs like the pies and cakes at a potluck dinner, I want you to know you can’t.

That’s what being a Christ-follower is all about. It’s about us laying our hopes, our dreams, our values and beliefs, our identity and purpose for all that is and is to come, right down at His feet and trusting Him for all of it.

Though it’s hard and uncomfortable, and there’s too much busyness that gets in the way, I want to have these conversations with you. I need to have these conversations with you.

Raised Up To Be Ready

There will come a day when you will leave my house and will have to forge your faith in a harsh and callous world. I want you to be ready.

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)  encourages parents to, Train up a child in the way he should go; Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Just like our Father wants each of us to be ready.

There He is waiting to talk with us, to pour Himself into us so that we are soaked in His love, His truth. And usually I’m right there scrolling through Facebook.

I get it. He wants me to rise up and be that strong woman, to say to the naysayers and the thrill-peddlers, No, that’s not who I am.I am the Beloved and He has so much more for me than that.

We’re all being raised up. Called to be set-apart. Molded into His image. So we can breathe a little hope into a hopeless world. Shine a little light into the pits of night. Be the hands and feet of Jesus to broken souls who are desperate to feel grace instead of contempt, and compassion instead of this world’s harsh condemnation.

2 Corinthians 3:18 (MSG) shares His beautiful hope for His children, Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

We got such a work to do. You and me.

I know it’s hard, but in this age of technology and disconnect, pressure and busyness…

…it is time for each of us to rise.

---

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

Is Rest The Forgotten Key To Your Emotional Wellbeing?

Rest. Typically not a word in my vocabulary.

I was coming up to the weeks before my vacation, barely hanging on by a thread. I didn’t even notice how tired I was. My body moved slowly, numbly in its predictable, mechanical motions of the day. Though I accomplished all of my responsibilities, it grew challenging to be present, much less to focus. I could hardly tell how cloudy my mind had become. How disconnected I felt. Unsteady.

The travel rituals that usually include a fun summer read, some writing, catching up on emails, this time contained sleep and a half-dozed perusal of “The Shack,” that I had wanted to see for some time, but now could barely recall any scenes, if you asked. My only collected awareness was that the seat beside me was miraculously empty, leaving me just enough space to twist my feeble limbs in a sequence of contorted positions, all in pursuit of a little rest.

The first few nights away I noticed how heavy my sleep was, as if someone was holding me in a cavernous, murky, basin of darkness, which I was helpless to fight against and could only shyly succumb. It felt good somehow. Slowly, sweetly, sleep became more rhythmic, more unassuming, allowing me to wake rested and refreshed.

Was my body finally telling me that it had worked too hard, carried too heavy a load —or was I, for the first time in a long while, listening? It can be so hard for me to listen sometimes. Hard for all of us, if we’re honest.

Have we grown so accustomed to silencing the needs of our bodies that the state of exhaustion is normal? Have we developed patterns of pushing through, all the while applauding our woeful disregard for our soul’s care and nurturing?

We live in a world where late nights and early mornings validate our human struggle, where doing without physical or emotional sustenance equates with a personal suffrage of sorts. We pass the days telling ourselves when this project is over or this season is done, then we can rest, then we can breathe. Quietly, we believe our own lies.

Lies that tell us —

…we are not enough.

…we don’t deserve good things.

…love must be for others, not for us.

…we must strive.

…we must earn.

…we must prove our worth.

Ever feel that way? Ever feel the swirl of self-defeating, self-condemning lies that invade your mind with the power of a hurricane and knock you to the ground, pulling you away from yourself and away from the rest that would be the medicine for everything that torments you and keeps you chained to your perilous busy?

Reclaim Your Heart

To tend to everyone else’s problems, to meet everyone else’s needs, seems easier, doesn’t it? Easier to numb our messy feelings than to have them spill over into our disinfected and whitewashed heart spaces. Easier to stay strong than to make ourselves vulnerable. Easier to do than to be.

We live our lives this way, one day to the next. Capable and functioning. Excelling. Surviving. We find ourselves at once too busy trying to BE God that we are never transformed BY Him.

And still, somewhere deep inside, in the shadowed places no one knows, the very depths we try ourselves to avoid, we are weary. We yearn for rest. Heart rest. Soul. Rest.

God created us for rest.  It is a pilgrimage we must choose, to follow our heart and to follow our Abba, Father to His rest.

Isaiah 30:15 (ESV) tell us that, For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’ 

One of my favorite passages, Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV) urges us, Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

That word. Rest. Say it. Inhale it. Over and over.

When we finally stop trying and start resting, start allowing His love to pour over us and into us, we find Him changing us in the strangest and most intimate ways.

We start believing—

…we are loved.

…we are the Beloved.

…we can make room for ourselves, for Him.

…we don’t have to live striving.

…we can do less.

…we can breathe.

…we are enough.

In the midst of hectic schedules, busy routines, men, women, moms and dads, need rest as a crucial, though often forgotten, key to their emotional wellbeing. Find out why rest is so important for you, too!

We All Need Emotional Margin

Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. ― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

What does your emotional margin look like? Where does rest exist in the rhythm of your routine?

Claim it. Cultivate it.

Rest is where we find our truest selves in Christ. Rest is where we can listen to our heartbeat, where we can dream again, risk again, perhaps even love again. Rest has so much to teach us and tell us, if we will listen.

Allow rest to be the unapologetic rhythm that guides your movements and your schedules. Allow His rest to uncover the songs and the stories buried inside your heart that are longing to dance out loud.

So you can live a better story. 

Today.  

---

Blog

Sep 17, 2019

How To Stop Hanging On By a Thread

Sep 17, 2019

Sep 17, 2019

Sep 10, 2019

Alcohol Addiction Recovery: 8 Critical Commitments to Minimize Relapse

Sep 10, 2019

Sep 10, 2019

Sep 3, 2019

4 Ways You Can Fight Back Against Loneliness

Sep 3, 2019

Sep 3, 2019

Aug 27, 2019

ASK LISA – How Can I Lose Weight and Keep It Off Once and For All?

Aug 27, 2019

Aug 27, 2019

Aug 20, 2019

Created for Wholeness - Guest Post by Denise Wolf

Aug 20, 2019

Aug 20, 2019

Aug 13, 2019

8 Keys To a Healthy Relationship With Your Body

Aug 13, 2019

Aug 13, 2019

Aug 6, 2019

Four Ways To Celebrate A Perfectly ImPerfect You

Aug 6, 2019

Aug 6, 2019

Jul 9, 2019

7 Signs You Might Be In a Relationship With a Narcissist

Jul 9, 2019

Jul 9, 2019

Jul 2, 2019

8 Reasons Why Vacation Is Vital For Wellbeing

Jul 2, 2019

Jul 2, 2019

May 28, 2019

ASK LISA - How Do I Know If I Am Codependent?

May 28, 2019

May 28, 2019

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with myself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Authenticity and The Courage To Let Your Real Self Shine Through

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The truth is, sometimes I’m not fine. There are moments my day hasn’t gone great, and yes, some days the weather really does stink.

That’s what I want to say at least, but I rarely do. How about you?

There are a lot of things about me I don’t say, many truths I keep tucked inside, hidden in the bottom drawer of my heart, for fear others wouldn’t want to hear about what’s really going on with me. Somehow I believe if I let them see the real me, they might think I’m crazy, too much to handle. Or they might just reject me altogether.

So I’ve learned to edit myself. If we’re honest, I think most of us edit ourselves. We’ve learned to do a fair job stitching together the prettiest sides of ourselves to show people while keeping the worn and ragged edges hidden out of sight. We pray no one will notice and try to convince ourselves that our patchwork looks as good as new. As long as no one gets too close.

Up close is where the reality of our threadbare and disheveled selves might poke through. Where the tears, the insecurities, the pockets full of unworthiness spill their ugly selves onto our identity. It isn’t pretty.

The problem is, all the years I hid my truest self, all the years I kept everyone at arm’s length, I also kept the beauty of intimacy and vulnerability from ever reaching my impenetrable, fear-filled heart.

Relationship is the casualty of a guarded heart, the victim of pretense and shame.

Authenticity at its core is transparency and admission of failure. It's the rejection of insincerity and hypocrisy. It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears and sorrows reside.

[clickToTweet tweet="It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears reside." quote="It's truth-telling about all areas of life, even our soul spaces, where our greatest fears and sorrows reside."]

Brene Brown describes authenticity as, the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Authenticity is a gift not just to ourselves, but to all of our relationships. Here are three ways you can start to cultivate authenticity and let your real self shine through.

Claim Your Belovedness

The more we as Christians own our worth based on God’s incredible love for us, the more we can begin to see ourselves as worthy, not based on performance, certainly not based on perfection, but based on position. Upon Whose we are. God’s beloved children.

Henri J.M. Nouwen describes, Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.

When our worth is based solely on other’s acceptance or approval, it is a roller-coaster waiting for the next dive. It is inconsistent at best, bumpy throughout, and at some point always crashes to a halt.

However, knowing ourselves and our worth as God’s beloved, in whom He delights, is the strongest foundation for each of us to become curious, eager —to explore, to create, to dream, and possibly even to dare.

Resist The Urge To Strive

Striving is a lethal drug for a perfectionist. We remain almost helpless to resist its power, its compulsion to prove, to perform, to achieve. Yet striving will almost certainly destroy us from the inside out. It fills us with fear and empties us of any courage or creativity.

Striving has been one of the fiercest competitors throughout my life, and I would dare say, it has gotten the best of me many times in the past. What makes resisting the urge to strive so difficult is how intensely our culture celebrates it. We revere the pursuit of acquisition, we extol the virtue of accomplishment, and fantasize that rest is waiting for us just across the finish line. Until we cross the finish line, and realize that even here, there is no rest. Just another finish line, another demand, another task to prove our worth.

Martin Luther expressed, I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.

Once our worth is settled, we can rest in believing whether we succeed or fail, whether we are celebrated or not, whether our ranking on amazon.com is at the top or on the bottom, we are enough. Period. Our performance is not attached to our worth.

Be More Emotionally Honest

No, that doesn’t mean to emotionally vomit on anyone and everyone with whom you come into contact. Emotional honesty simply means we become more intentional about accepting ourselves —our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, opinions, and perspectives —and we are not afraid to share appropriately and respectfully with those around us.

Psalm 32:1-2 (NLT) states, Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the LORD has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

Do you share freely your opinions with others, even if they differ? Do you find yourself withholding your thoughts and feelings from the people around you? Is your highest priority not to do or say anything that might make people unhappy with you?

We can find healthy, compassionate ways to let our true selves shine through without being disrespectful or unkind. The more we feel worthy, the easier it is to risk potential ridicule or rejection from others because we don’t need their approval to feel good about ourselves.

Mother Teresa shares, Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.

If you find yourself longing to let go of the façade or craving a place that is real, you can begin today to cultivate authenticity in your life.

Claim Your Belovedness. Your worth is settled.

Resist The Urge To Strive. You are enough.

Be More Emotionally Honest. Let the real you shine through.

Authenticity embraces our healing journey in its totality —the journey toward accepting who we are, toward becoming more courageous, toward embracing who we are not yet, but who we will one day be. The journey is beautiful, it is hopeful.  It is the way of peace.

About This Community

Don't we all want a little peace?  My heart for this community is to provide just that - a needed refuge from all the burdens that weigh us down, some encouragement and inspiration to keep us weary travelers moving forward on our journeys, and some practical advice to help each of us navigate the challenges of life and relationships.  Whether in our parenting, our marriages, our faith, or the broken places in our hearts, this place is for anyone who dares to reach beyond the hopelessness that surrounds us and embrace a lifestyle of emotional abundance and peace!  

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

The Journey To Becoming His Beloved

I'm so blessed to be sharing today at

(in)courage.me !

I was always an anxious kid. I cried at my first piano recital and begged not to play. I finally relented and played anyway. I was permanently attached to my mom’s leg whether we were at church, at school, or even the grocery store.

There was no end to what I was afraid of. I was afraid of the monsters in the closet, afraid of my teachers, afraid of the popular kids in school. I was afraid of myself, of being rejected, of being ridiculed, of not being enough. And as I realized much later, I was also afraid of God... 

I'd love to have you stop by and read more of my story. If you are encouraged, I'd love for you to share!

Read More

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Blessings, friends!

Lisa

When You’re Ready To Run, But God’s Called You To Rest

Lately I feel like I’ve been running at full speed for, well it seems like forever, and I just hit a brick wall. 

Do you ever have those times? Times when you’ve finished a project or season God called you to, and just in the moment when you are ready to dive headlong into the next mission, when you can feel the adrenaline pumping full-force through your veins, He calls you to rest.

Rest in those moments feels nothing like rest. It feels like it felt as a child when I was relegated to my room for an interminable period of quiet, as a time-out from everything I was really wanting to do. Forced seclusion.

What does a body do with four walls and a mind that won’t stop thinking, looking for the next need, the next mission as if the world will come unhinged if something gets overlooked or worse yet, undone?

So here’s where I am. I have to admit my soul is stirring, there’s a lot of heart work to do out there. My calling, my passion is to walk with people on their journeys. I can see the heartache. I can feel the overwhelmed, anxious helplessness as if it is stirring through my veins. And yet the word I hear God whispering today is…rest.

Rest? How can I rest when there is so much to be done?

And then I heard Him whisper to my heart,

Rest, because I need you to rest. To find rest. To find Me. To just be with Me. You are right, my child, there’s a whole big world out there that’s desperate for more than you can give. It’s okay. I see them, too. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t overlooked.

Trust that I am big enough to notice all of the discouragement, to see every soul who despairs. I see the broken, the exhausted, the battle-weary, the cynical, the eyes filled with anger for all of the injustice. I see the oceans full of disappointed dreams and calloused, dulled hopes. I see you.

Trust that in your rest I am nurturing something new. Your rest is required. Your rest is the next step on your journey. Not a place of punishment, not a time-out, but a carefully designed respite with Me, to simply be with you and enjoy you. To celebrate, to laugh. To share stories in the twilight and notice the sunset together. I see you.

Trust that you are enough. Just as you are. You are significant because I formed you in your mother’s womb. You are cherished because I planned you long before the foundation of the universe. You are beautiful and yes, worthy. You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you.

[clickToTweet tweet="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. " quote="You are more than a daughter, more than a wife, more than a friend, a worker, a hope-giver, or a dreamer. You are My Beloved. I see you."]

So wherever you are today, whatever season of silence you are wading through, whatever hopes and dreams hang in the balance… rest. Trust that God notices you on your knees crying out to Him in the sleepless nights. Trust that He’s well-acquainted with your most tender, swollen wounds. Trust that He sees you right where you are, just as you are. You are precious to Him. He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself.

[clickToTweet tweet="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself." quote="He wants to give you new life, new hope, new peace. More than anything else, He wants to give you…Himself."]

I can’t think of anything else I need more today.

How is God calling you to Himself today? What is one thing you can do today to find rest?

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

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About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Why Authentic Living is The Perfect Place To Thrive

A wise friend once told me, “Lisa, don’t listen to what a person says, watch what they do; what they do will tell you everything about what they believe.”

All of us have encountered people in our lives who have said one thing and done something completely different. These encounters leave us feeling shocked, disappointed, confused.

We like to be with individuals who live out their values and beliefs. They are consistent. What they say and do matches up. Their attitudes, their choices, their behaviors are natural extensions of their most deeply held principles. We feel safe with these people. We trust these people.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares why living out our values and beliefs is necessary for us to thrive.

Experts have said what you believe (perceive) becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see; rather you see what you already believe. Knowing ourselves requires us to look inside and carefully examine our beliefs and values because they hold the keys to unlocking and creating the reality for which we long.

All of us have an inner system of beliefs and values we have developed over the course of our lives. They are an accumulation of everything we have experienced in our lives from our parents and families, our religious heritage, our friends and peers, education, work experience, and more. If we take the time to identify what we believe, the things we value and why, we are closer to understanding ourselves at a deeper level and gaining insight into what drives and motivates us.

Beliefs are core convictions we generally hold to be true. Our beliefs grow from what we experience, see, listen to, or reflect upon. They can be spiritual, moral, social, intellectual, financial, or political in nature. From our experiences, opinions are formulated and developed.

Sometimes our beliefs are based on truth and sometimes they are not. Nevertheless, they can have a profound impact on our understanding or misunderstanding of the world around us. If we grew up in an abusive household, we might form the belief that love equals pain. Those of us who didn’t grow up with abuse can identify that belief as untrue, but until the abused can recognize that truth and heal from their wounds, that misbelief will impact how they experience themselves and everything around them.

As we appraise our beliefs, we can determine their worth or value in our lives; hence values are a natural extension of our core beliefs. Values are traits or qualities that we deem worthwhile. They comprise our top priorities, and our most deeply felt driving forces. Values can include concepts such as equality, honesty, faith, family, education, courage, effort, determination, loyalty, faithfulness, hard work, integrity, responsibility, excellence, respect, teamwork, freedom, beauty, happiness, empathy, wisdom, security, independence, challenge, learning, compassion, discipline, generosity, optimism, innovativeness, and service.

Emotionally-abundant people take the time to understand historic influences in their lives and begin to identify and develop a clear, meaningful set of beliefs and values. Living according to an internal code of values brings meaning, purpose, and direction to our daily lives. Decisions become easier as our understanding of ourselves becomes clearer. Choices are easier and our stress is reduced. Life feels calmer and more stable.

Do you find your behaviors betraying your most deeply held principles? Do you wonder why you struggle to discover your passion and purpose in life? Do you long to find peace and calm in the midst of the storms in life?

God desires for you to know your identity. He longs for you to find the deep meaning, purpose and direction that come from knowing your beliefs and values and living them out not perfectly, but consistently, day by day.

I share simple, practical life steps in my book, Peace For a Lifetime, that can help you understand the life God has for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!

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When We're Tired of Living a Counterfeit Life

Have you ever bought a counterfeit? Have you wandered the streets of Manhattan and found a bottle of your favorite perfume or a beautiful designer bag for $20?

Did you think it was real? So many of us, whether we knew it or not, have been duped by a counterfeit. It looked real, we thought it was real —until we compared it to the real thing and realized we’d been taken by an inferior imitation!

Counterfeiting isn’t only for perfumes and handbags. Many of us live counterfeit lives. We’re afraid of letting our real selves be known, afraid of ridicule, terrified of rejection. We never let anyone get to know who we really are. We never get to know who we really are. We miss the joy of experiencing the person God created. Living with a counterfeit self, we can never experience abundance, we can never know true peace.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares the importance of knowing and growing our authentic self so that we can experience the life and relationships we desire.

Let’s face it. All of us at some point, whether we knew or not, have bought a counterfeit. Whether we were looking for a lower-cost prescription medication or simply trying to obtain some designer watch, handbag, or boots at a discount price, we have all been duped by an imposter that looked just like the real thing. If we’re honest, many of us don’t mind being duped. We have lost an appreciation for what’s real because we just want what we want—easy, fast, and cheap. Who cares if the item is real, right—as long as the look of status we’re hoping for is supported?

Unfortunately, counterfeiting hasn’t just impacted the world of luxury goods. Over the past few decades, the practice has filtered down into our medications, our food supply, even our home-building materials. What is the saddest to me, though, is the way counterfeiting has begun to impact our relationships and even our individual identities.

With the increasing popularity of social networks, we can now even counterfeit friends and relationships. People are engaged to, and in love with, others on Facebook who they have never met and who don’t even exist. Even the idea of posting status updates makes us feel pressured to present ourselves and our lives as an ideal picture of who we are, or who we would like others to think we are. We become satisfied with a world of pretend people with pretend identities living in pretend relationships.

The problem with spending so much time and energy creating or living an illusion is we never get to experience the real thing. Somewhere in all of us is a longing for something authentic, something dependable. Nothing fake will ever satisfy our souls like a true connection with a friend, a genuine encounter with God, or an authentic understanding of ourselves.

[clickToTweet tweet="Nothing fake will ever satisfy our souls. #authenticity #peace" quote="Nothing fake will ever satisfy our souls."]

You don’t have to keep up the façade. You don’t have to keep pretending. You can experience authentic love that will never disappoint and will never let you down. God created you with all of your strengths and weaknesses, gifts and abilities, for a reason. He doesn’t want an imitation of you. He wants you! He longs for you to find freedom from everything that’s counterfeit so that you can embrace the unparalleled beauty of your true, authentic self.

[clickToTweet tweet="He doesn’t want an imitation of you. He wants you! #authenticity #peace #love" quote="He doesn’t want an imitation of you. He wants you! "]

Blessings,

Lisa

About Lisa

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, author, coffee lover, and wife. My online community lisamurrayonline.com provides a compassionate place in the midst of the stresses and struggles of life. At heart, I am just a Southern girl who loves beautiful things, whether it is the beauty of words found in a deeply moving story, the beauty of a meal cooked with love, the beauty of a cup of coffee with a friend, or the beauty seen in far away landscapes and cultures. I have fallen passionately in love with the journey and believe it is among the most beautiful gifts to embrace and celebrate. While I grew up in the Florida sunshine, I live with my husband just outside Nashville in Franklin, TN.

---

About Peace for a Lifetime

In my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share the keys to cultivating a life that’s deeply rooted, overflowing, and abundant, the fruit of which is peace. Through personal and professional experience as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I've discovered how to take the broken pieces of life and find indestructible peace with herself, God and with others. Through my story and other’s stories you’ll realize that you can experience the life for which you long. You can experience abundance beyond anything you can imagine. You can experience peace, not just for today, not just for tomorrow. You can experience peace —for a lifetime!

Peace for a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com.

www.lisamurrayonline.com

Facebook: Lisa Murray

Twitter: @_Lisa_Murray

Book Trailer: https://vimeo.com/155392891

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Why Learning To Nurture Ourselves Is Vital For Us To Thrive

 It seems no matter how early I used to get up in the morning, I always felt like I was lagging behind. Like I was playing catch-up. Late.  Days were spent getting lunches made, out the door to school, then work, then homework, groceries, practices, dinners and finally a shower after a late night with a science project and a grumpy child, just to do it all again the next day.

If this sounds like your schedule, and you’re caught in the spinning motion of life that never asks, but demands more and more until there is nothing left to give, you are not alone.

Millions of men and women have bought into the notion that they have to be everything for everybody and nothing for themselves. This is not the life God desires for you. There is so much more. There is rest. There is abundance. There is peace.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares the importance of cultivating the habit of self-nurture into our lives so that we can begin building a life of wholeness and harmony.

In reality, we were not created to be the Energizer Bunny or robots. We each have an emotional fuel tank, and for too many of us, the tank is below empty. We are running on fumes. As a result, prescriptions for anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication are at an all-time high.

While for some, medication is absolutely necessary and beneficial, there are many of us who use medication as an energy drink to keep us pumped up so we can grind out life for one more day. Too many of us wonder why, when we have everything we ever dreamed of, are we so depressed? Even though we love our spouses and our children, our careers and our friends, why do we still feel so empty inside? Why does everything feel so overwhelming?

The truth is I cannot be the best mother, wife, lover, worker, or friend until I have first become the best me. I cannot give anything to anyone around me unless and until I have first given to myself.

Furthermore, I cannot share an opinion in the boardroom, living room, or bedroom if I haven’t spent time alone connecting with and understanding my own thoughts and feelings. I cannot allow myself to be intimately known by another person if I haven’t first spent time becoming intimately acquainted with myself. Indeed, drawing healthy boundaries for myself in a relationship would be impossible if I didn’t know what I felt like when a boundary had been crossed.

Self-nurture thus becomes the emotional radar and rudder of our internal ships. Self-nurture develops the habit of knowing when something unpleasant or unsettling has happened and allows us to make minor, daily adjustments so we can achieve our goals and avoid as much unnecessary drama and conflict along the way. More importantly, as we are continually in the process of discovering new things about ourselves, self-nurture allows us to dream new dreams, to plot new courses, and to build the courage to live this adventure to the fullest, one day at a time, one step at a time.

That sounds exciting to me! That sounds like real living. We will never experience peace in our relationships if we haven’t first found peace with ourselves. Peace begins and ends with understanding and honoring God’s creation, you, and learning how to build a foundation for life the way God intended.

In my book, Peace for a Lifetime, I share simple, practical life steps that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!

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What Boats Can Teach Us About Healthy Relationships

Relationships can be overwhelming. We all want relationships, but how do you know if your relationship is a good one? What does a healthy relationship even look like?

We hear expressions from Hollywood like, “You complete me,” we sing along with the radio, “I can’t live if living is without you,” we believe that “love means, I should be willing to do anything for you.” Is it any wonder we are slightly confused as to how to create a healthy relationship?

Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that shares what boats can teach us about healthy relationships. Yes – boats. Boats are interesting things. They have an individual identity. They have to maintain their seaworthiness and safety in a sizeable and often turbulent ocean. Boats can teach us a lot about how we as individuals engage in relationships. Boats can also offer us a better understanding of what healthy relationships should and should not look like.

I describe a picture of myself in a relationship as if I were in a boat that is floating in the ocean. I as an individual am in the center of my boat. I may be in a relationship with others, and if they are healthy relationships, they are in the center of their boats, too. Everyone is safe, anchored in Christ, connected with one another.

However, there are many relationships I encounter where someone I love is not in their boat. They are treading water in the ocean surrounding the boat. They do not realize they are drowning, but from my position in my boat, I can see they are drowning. The waves are crashing all around them. The wind is blowing, and the powerful current threatens to pull them under the water.

Because I love my family and friends, I desperately want these people in the boat with me. I know the boat is good and strong. The boat provides the necessary safety and security for my journey. So I make my way to the edge of the boat in order to throw out a life preserver. I try to lean over the edge to reach out to them, but they are just beyond my reach. My efforts are noble and helpful, but at the point I risk falling out of the boat myself while trying to rescue them, I am then useful to no one and in jeopardy of drowning myself.

In order to be the most helpful to the ones I love, in order to have the greatest chance of successfully rescuing or influencing them, I must remain safely centered and stable in my boat. I must make sure I am healthy before I can ever attempt to establish a healthy connection with someone else.

How could I love my family and friends well if I am not able to love and care for myself well? The answer is, I couldn’t. I must make sure that I am safely grounded in my boat, that I know my identity and have created a safe place for my authentic self to flourish, that I am actively pursuing my passions and purpose as I live out my beliefs and values with clarity and courage.

For many of you, that concept sounds terrifying, completely foreign to anything you’ve ever experienced. You are not alone. You don’t have to continue living in relationships that demand too much, give too little and leave you feeling hopeless that life could be different.

Life can be different! I share simple, practical life steps in my book, Peace For a Lifetime, that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace in your life and relationships; peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!

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The Only Remedy for the Hole Inside Our Hearts

 God created each of us with a “God-shaped hole” inside of us. A hole designed to draw us to Him, and into an intimate relationship with the God of the Universe. Most of us feel the ache of the hole inside, we feel the emptiness and despair that echoes our inner pain.

We try to fill that hole with anything and everything under the sun, except the one thing that was perfectly and uniquely designed to fill that hole.

Here is an excerpt from my new book, Peace For a Lifetime, that explains the importance of understanding the hole that exists within each of us, and details the only remedy to fill this hole and give us a life of abundance and peace – the perfect person of Jesus Christ. He is the remedy, our remedy!

St. Augustine wrote, “You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in You.”19 Still, humanity searches to fill this hole with anything and everything except God! Sadly, too many people spend their lives looking for something other than God to fill their longing for meaning only to discover how empty and unfulfilled they remain.

King Solomon, who had all the wealth, power, and success in the world still declared all those things vanity, because everything he had accumulated and achieved had cost him so much in time and energy and satisfied so little. He summarized his experience by declaring, “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13 NIV)

Famous mathematician and philosopher, Blaise Pascal, echoed this truth by stating, “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can only be filled with an infinite and immutable object; in other words, by God Himself.”20

I cannot pour enough alcohol into the depths of this God-shaped hole to numb the pain of the emptiness in which I am helplessly lost. I cannot run fast enough to get my adrenaline fix of sex, gambling, or thrill-seeking to escape the numbness of this stale existence called life. I can’t glue together the cracks in my soul through compulsive relationships, spending, or eating to provide at least a few moments where I can breathe. The glue will eventually begin to pull apart, and the cracks will become even deeper and wider than they were before. Nor can I simply intellectualize my way out of this closet, trying to pretend in my self-proclaimed sophistication this hole does not exist any more than the God I cannot look at nor believe in exists.

We spend half of our time numbing ourselves and running from the pain, and the other half of our time using every rationale to pretend the pain doesn’t exist. Ironically, we appear to fear the light that would save us far more than we fear the darkness of the abyss that threatens to consume us. As a result, we prevent ourselves from passionately committing to anyone or anything outside of this prison cell of our own making.

What have you used to fill the hole inside of you? How have you tried to numb the pain in your soul? I invite you to stop running, stop reaching for things that cannot fill you or provide the meaning and peace for which you long.

In my book, Peace For a Lifetime, I share simple, practical life steps that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you discover identity, clarity, and purpose. It will help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!

You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in You.

_ St. Augustine

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19 St. Augustine, Confessions (New York, NY: Doubleday, 1960), 43.

20 Blaise Pascal, Pensees (New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1966), 75.

How Our Search for Meaning Can Bring Us So Much Peace

 Do you ever find yourself bored, unsettled, restless? Have you ever struggled to find meaning in your life?

Culture tells us if we have the right education, the right house, the right spouse and kids, even the right toys, then we will have everything we could ever ask for in life. The problem is, all the things in the world were not meant to fill us, fix us, or provide the meaning for which our souls long. We were designed for so much more.

King Solomon had all the wealth the world had to offer and still declared, Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 2:11 NIV)

I’ve included an excerpt from my new book, Peace for a Lifetime, where I share why we were created for meaning, and how we can begin to search for and cultivate deep roots of purpose that will not only provide a solid foundation for your life, but will impact your life and relationships with significance, abundance and fulfillment beyond anything you could imagine!

Have you ever wondered, “Who am I?” or asked yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” Why are we here and what, if anything, provides meaning to our existence on this planet? Is this all for nothing? Is there more? These questions are not only valid, but they also are an active part of our journeys toward finding peace with God and peace within ourselves. There is within us all a quiet war, an epic battle for the answers to these very questions. These questions don’t request an invitation. They don’t sit politely by the side. They loom overhead in the routine and mundane tasks of the day. They step ever so softly over the stillness of our souls. We might not be aware of anything at all, except that somewhere what began as a tiny tremor grows into a seismic quake. We can feel the pounding in our ears and the reverberations in our chests, counting cadence, steadily louder and clearer. There comes a time when we can no longer tune out these battle drums. We must choose, we must fight to claim this territory once and for all, or surrender ourselves altogether.

The most basic of all human desires is to find meaning to life. Individuals who experience Emotional Abundance (EA)—the ability to feel and manage their emotions—are not only able to meet the demands of everyday life, but are able to create meaning in their lives and relationships. Anxiety is the tension that arises from that battle for meaning. Kierkegaard calls anxiety the “dizziness of freedom.”14 Existentialist theologian Paul Tillich characterizes this as “the state in which a being is aware of its nonbeing.” 15

If you have struggled to find meaning in your life, if you live with an emptiness and despair in your soul, wondering if there must be more to life than this, you are not alone. For so many years I felt both helpless and hopeless to fill the emptiness that swallowed everything inside until I discovered how to fill that hole and build a life of hope, wholeness, and meaning.

In my book, Peace For a Lifetime, I share simple, practical life steps that can help you understand the life God desires for you. This material can help you create and experience an indestructible peace – not just for today, not just for tomorrow, you can experience peace…for a lifetime!

All the things in the world were not meant to fill us, fix us,

or provide the meaning for which our souls long.

We were designed for so much more.

We were designed for God.

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14 Soren Kierkegaard, The Concept of Anxiety (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1980), 61.

15 Paul Tillich, The Courage To Be (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2000), 35.